Find a few jokes that girls love to listen to, and they want to be hilarious. 20

He said that there was a polar bear, because the snow was so dazzling, that he had to wear sunglasses to see things, but he couldn't find the sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling, crawling and crawling dirty to find sunglasses. I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror, and I realized: Oh, it turns out that I am a panda.

The lame man and the blind man rode out in the same cart. The blind man rides, and the lame man watches the road. Suddenly, the lame man found a deep ditch in front of him, and shouted: ditch, ditch, ditch!

The blind man sang back: Oh, oh, oh! The two fell into the ditch together.

Classic joke: An eighty-year-old man with his newly married wife, the doctor tells his wife that he is happy, and the old man dances happily. The doctor said:

Listen to my story, a hunter was walking home after shooting all the bullets, and suddenly a tiger pounced from the woods, the hunter subconsciously raised his shotgun and pulled the trigger, only to hear a thud The tiger fell to the ground. The old man hurriedly interjected: Impossible, someone must have shot next to him.

Doctor: Right.

A newlywed man and woman were about to enter the cave room, and the woman suddenly let out a fart, and the man was stunned and didn't leave, so the woman asked, "Why don't you leave!" But the man said, "Be careful! There is an ambush!!

Life is like a dream, I always have insomnia; Life is like a play, I always wear a goof; Life is like a song, I am always out of tune; Life is like a battlefield, and I always go crazy.

Isn't it funny at all? 】

Laughter comes from life, and the more relevant it is to your surroundings and the more humorous it is, the better. The landlord asks a good question. How can you not laugh?

On the last bus, a woman in white sat in the last row. The driver looked in the rearview mirror, the woman was gone, surprised! Brake sharply and turn around, and the person sits there.

Continue to open and look in the rearview mirror, the woman is not, the sudden brake turns back, and the woman appears again. Continue to open and look in the rearview mirror, no more women! Suddenly, the woman walked slowly, her hair was messy, her face was covered with blood, and she said in a deep voice, "The old lady has a grudge against you?"

As soon as you tie your shoelaces, you brake suddenly, and as soon as you tie your shoelaces, you brake suddenly, ......

Lao Zhang went to the street to buy vegetables, and when he paid for it, he was a little slower, and the vegetable seller urged: Big brother, hurry up, the chengguan will come in a while, and my cart of vegetables will be gone. Lao Zhang Dao: Nonsense, I don't want to hurry? It's too late to go back, and I might be gone! ......

Go eat rice noodles at noon. There are several kinds of rice noodles in the store, the ordinary one is 4 yuan, and the cross-bridge rice noodles are 10 yuan ......I only heard a young couple talking. M:

I don't understand, why is the cross-bridge rice noodle so expensive? 6 bucks more expensive than the regular one? "Female:

I don't know, maybe the 10 yuan includes the bridge toll! ”

Once, the CEO of a telecommunications company went to a public toilet. The uncle guarding the gate said: Three cents in and two cents out.

Learn from you, two-way charges. After the boss came out, he was stopped again: You squat in the No. 8 pit and pay a one-yuan number selection fee; If you fart, you will pay a roaming fee of one yuan, and if you have a fart for more than three minutes, you will pay a overtime fee of one yuan; The toilet has a background**, pay two cents ringtone fee.

The boss was furious: Who set the rules? Uncle:

I'm in charge of my territory!

It is said that Tang Zhongzong Li Xian is the best emperor in history, why is this? Because he himself is the emperor, his father is the emperor, his younger brother is the emperor, his son is the emperor, his nephew is the emperor, and what is worse is that his mother is also the emperor. So history gave him a very glorious name:

Six Emperor Pills!

Xiao Wang and Xiao Li wanted to participate in the interview, Xiao Li's hearing was a little problematic, so he asked Xiao Wang to copy the answer to his interview, and Xiao Wang agreed.

Examiner: Which character in Journey to the West is your favorite?

Xiao Wang: It was Wukong, but now it has changed to Bajie.

Examiner: Do you think there are aliens in the world?

Xiao Wang: Although scientists haven't confirmed it yet, I think so.

Examiner: Okay, you've been admitted.

It's time for a small force. Examiner: What's your name?

Xiaoli: It was Wukong, but now it has changed to Bajie.

Examiner: Are you sick?

Xiaoli: Although scientists haven't confirmed it yet, I think so.

Xiao Ming went to school on his first day, and after school, his father asked: Where does the river flow?

Xiao Ming sang: The big river flows eastward.

Dad asked again, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

Xiao Ming sang: The stars in the sky are Beidou.

Dad was very angry and said, "I'm going to hit you!"

Xiao Ming sings: Shoot when it's time to shoot.

Dad: Get out of here!

Xiao Ming sang: Let's go.

Dad: Are you sick?

Xiao Ming sings: You have me, I have everything!

Aunt He said to her wife: "The name that Uncle Han gave to his grandson is Han Jinliang, and the name that Uncle Gao gave his grandson is high-tech, we are about to have a grandson, can you also give him a loud name?" ”

Uncle He said without thinking: "It's called He **!" ”

One day, Xiaohong was in math class, and the teacher asked, 1012, Xiao Ming said, 249, because you are not even as good as 25.

Just say that I was robbed when I bought something in the market! It's two schoolgirls who robbed you, robbed your cigarettes! I hope you will adopt.

There was a lazy couple, one day, the wife was chopping vegetables, did not find the cutting board, on the husband's back to cut vegetables, after cutting, the husband's back left blood, the wife asked, is it painful?

The husband said, it hurts.

The wife said, why don't you say the pain?

My husband said, I'm too lazy to say.

What's the matter, dear, I'm angry, ha, don't cry if you hug it.