Ask for a few jokes, not hot, but cold

A certain brother likes to eat fish.

Wal-Mart's sea bass is 9 pieces a pound, and if it dies, it will be 7 pieces and two pieces on the ice, which is just as fresh. When a certain brother got off work, he hurriedly ran to buy it, but he was often bought, and a certain brother stood in front of the fish tank and waited, sometimes for a long time without dying a single one. So he went in with a net to catch it, and then pretended to look at the fish, and knocked the fish on the head with the handle.

The waiter couldn't stand it anymore, so he came to the brother and said, "Sir, it's not ...... if you faint”

One day in the forest, the animals were recruited to fight in the army, so all the animals in the forest had to come for a medical examination.

The monkey in first place did not want to join the army, and he looked at his long tail, so he bit his teeth and broke it. After entering, the military doctor said: The tail is broken, it is disabled, and there is no need to be a soldier......

When the rabbit in second place saw the monkey's behavior, he resolutely broke off his long ears. After entering, the military doctor refused to let the rabbit serve as a soldier for the same reason.

The black bear, who was in third place, thought to himself, "What should I do if I have such short ears and a tail that is almost the same as if I don't have it?" ”

Kind bunnies and monkeys come to help him figure it out.

Suddenly, the monkey shouted, "I see, if you break your teeth, you will be disabled!" ”

So the monkey and the rabbit beat the black bear so hard that he broke his teeth. Although the black bear was in pain, he was also very happy to go in for a medical examination.

Soon after, I saw the black bear come out with his mouth covered, crying and saying, "They say I'm too fat to be a soldier!!

A guy was sitting at home when he heard a knock on the door.

He opened the door and saw a snail standing in the doorway.

He picked up the snail and threw it away.

One day, three years later, there was a knock on the door.

He opened the door and saw the snail again.

The snail said, "What did you just do?" ”

Personally collected, I think it's okay to talk in a meeting.

I'll type you one word at a time!

Fishing. A man goes fishing, fishing, and he falls.

— 1. The first to finish ———

Peanut. One day, the police questioned the three children and asked if they had caused trouble.

The policeman asked the first child, "What's your name?" ”

Child: "My name is Jack. ”

The policeman asked, "Did you cause trouble at the zoo?" ”

Child: "I just threw the peanuts down." ”

The policeman asked the second child, "What's your name?" ”

Child: "My name is John. ”

The policeman asked, "Did you cause trouble at the zoo?" ”

Child: "I just threw the peanuts down." ”

The policeman asked the third child, "What's your name?" ”

Child: "My name is Peanut. ”

The policeman was speechless: ". .

— The second ———

In a refrigerator, there are two apples.

One apple said, "It's so cold!" ”

Another apple said, "We are apples, how can we speak?" ”

— The third ———

It took me about 20 minutes to finish this one!! I'm tired! You must cherish the fruits of your labor!! Pick me.

Dad, I saw ten yuan, but I gave it back to others!

Good! Did that person say thank you to you?

No, he pulled my ear before I gave it to him, how can I say thank you?

A friend of mine told a joke that killed thousands of people by laughing at it, and the state used this joke as a secret, and spies from other countries tried to steal the joke like wolves. I was the hardest with him, and under my bitter pleading, he finally told me the joke. He said he believed in love.

The son asked his father, "Am I a stupid child?" Father: "Silly boy, how can you be a silly child?" ”

The father asked his son, "Who will you marry in the future?" The son said, "I'm going to marry my grandmother, she loves me!" Dad scolded, "You fart!" How can you marry my mother? The son retorted, "You can marry my mother as a wife, why can't I marry your mother!" ”

Hello: Don't tell him.

A pair of twin brothers walk into the kindergarten. "Which of you two is the elder brother and who is the younger brother? The nursery man asked. One of them blinked and said, "Brother, don't tell him." ”

1.One of the things that men love to hear women say is: I want to! One thing that men are most afraid of listening to women is: I still want it!

2.There was only one piece of cake left at the birthday party, and the word birthday happened to be written on it. The boy graciously picked up the knife and split it in two, and said to the girl gently, "I'm in charge of the 'day', and you are in charge of the 'birth', okay?" ”

A bird flying in the sky was hit by a hunter, why is it still flying? Because it's strong......

Xiao Ming rides on the big cow, what kind of big cow steps to eat grass?

A: Big bulls are people.

How did Lin Daiyu die? ==> fell to death (Sister Lin fell from the sky).

1.Teacher: "Can you make a sentence with love at first sight and can't help but be in love?"

2.The teacher said: "Teach you that I have to live at least 5 years less, if I earn 200,000 a year, it will be 1 million in five years, obediently, you can go and publish a book at that time."

The name is - "How I Became a Millionaire"." 3.When you were looking for a job, your boss asked you what year you graduated, and you were going to say 2000, but when you were excited, you said it was 2000 years ago 4Just ten minutes into class, Chubby raised his hand and said:

Teacher, I'm going to go to the toilet. The teacher was unhappy and said, "How old are they?"

Also go to the toilet!! 5.The unit greetings, the leader said:

Let's die together! 8.Don't go out on a rainy day, the rain is non-toxic, the wet body is small, and the gonorrhea is big!

9.No matter how high a woman stands, squatting can only wet the ground under her feet, and men are amazing! The higher you stand, the farther you pee 10

Mrs. Shi, you are from the old man! After a few years, Mrs. Shi, you can spare the old man 11Today's liquor in the restaurant is mixed with water again, damn it!

When I have money, I will also go to the big restaurant to drink Rémy Martin, xo or something, and never let them fool me with '86 and '72, if you want to drink this year! I know I'm not handsome, but many people once looked at me on the full moon and said that my left nostril looked like an idol Female praying mantis eats male mantis after mating, is it cruel? But some women swallow countless offspring on the way to mating 12

It's been raining, I guess it's the Jade Emperor crying, it must be that his marriage with the Queen Mother is unhappy, there are two possibilities for this unhappiness, one is that the Queen Mother is leaving; One is that the Queen Mother is reluctant to leave 13An old farmer got off the bus, and a fat woman immediately squeezed into the seat where the old farmer had sit. I took out a napkin and wiped it wildly, wiped three packs, and felt very satisfied, so I sat down.

But it didn't take long for her to let out a pup. An old man next to him saw it and said to him loudly: Laugh (little) sister, reverse (you) are (true) love clean!

I've wiped three packs of paper.,I'm going to blow it.。。。 14.On the bus platform.

One laughed. Others feel strange. Q:

A person thinks he looks like a **, and as a result, he walks and hangs up 16Two bananas walking, one in the front and one in the back, and the banana in front of him felt so hot that he took off his clothes, and the banana in the back turned out to be the banana in the back. Wrestled.

One day a polar bear plucked its fur at the North Pole, plucking and plucking, and suddenly found that its fur had been stripped naked, then his first sentence was, "Answer: It's cold."

Suddenly a very deep question came to mind: Yang Guo has broken his arm for so many years, how did he cut his nails?

I heard a friend singing: Don't wait until a thousand years later, Cao Cao said to me, fairy tales are all lies, I can't be your monkey brother monkey brother, you are really amazing, the Five Elements Mountain can't suppress you, pop out a gourd baby, gourd baby, seven melons on a vine, not afraid of wind and rain, ah, ah, ah, ah, black cat sheriff, Dengdenden, Dengdenden, Dengdenden! This song is so stringed, it's too full of inner cows!