How to respond tactfully to the interrogation of relatives during the Chinese New Year?

Every year when I go home for the Chinese New Year, I will be asked by relatives if I have a boyfriend, at first I still felt that this question was very embarrassing, but now I have developed the ability to be shameless, every time they ask me I say that I am very anxious, I hope they can introduce me to a blind date, but everyone has no suitable person to introduce to me, and they will no longer mention this matter. <>

1. Ask about salary. When I was in school, the most common question I asked when I went home with my relatives every year was whether I had a boyfriend, but I have been single for more than 20 years, and many of my relatives don't ask me this question. Now that I'm in my second year of working, my relatives will habitually ask me if I've made any money this year, and I always give them no.

Because I think the most terrible thing between relatives is to compare with each other, my sister is about the same age as me, and he also works in a first-tier city, so relatives will invisibly compare the two of us. Every time I would tell myself that I was in a miserable situation, because I didn't want people to think that I was younger and more successful, they might talk about me behind my back, and even guess that the money I was making was not clean. So I avoided these negative statements and every time I took the initiative to sell miserably, making them think that I was incompetent and not as good as her children.

Second, let me go home and develop. Because I was a girl, I went to the south alone since I was in college, and my relatives at home were very worried, they thought that I should go back to my hometown to find a more stable job and spend the rest of my life comfortably. So every year during the Chinese New Year, they would persuade me to go back to my hometown to develop, and they would also compare me with an older brother in the family.

In fact, every time I hear them say these things, I am very angry, and I want to refute them with my salary, but I don't think it is necessary, and it is good for me for them to say this as an elder, so I always say "I will come back but in a few years". <

Comparisons between relatives are more serious than comparisons between friends, so every time I put down my stature and make them feel that I can't be their comparison, so no one is targeting me.

The most witty response is to be truthful. Because the interrogation of relatives is also a kind of concern for themselves.

You can answer the wrong question, or you can talk about him left and right, talk about other topics, avoid embarrassing content, and divert the topic.

In the face of cross-examination by relatives, you can actually choose to divert their attention and change the topic, or casually perfunctory.

How do you face the kind interrogation of relatives when you go home for the Chinese New Year? We can have a variety of methods, such as echoing the voice, responding silently, and asking relatives for kind cross-examination; Let's take a look;

First of all, we can echo it, such as the kindness of relatives we encounter, such as whether you have a girlfriend, we can say: not yet, you can help introduce it, the relatives ask you what you want, you can say that it is pleasing to the eye, anyway, how the relatives ask, how you answer, according to your own situation, if the relatives say, don't be so picky, you say, you won't be so picky, just say it.

Then, if we really don't want to ask questions from relatives, we can remain silent, respond casually, and then find an excuse to leave quickly, so that you will not face such an embarrassing moment, or, you just answer the question, anyway, you are not embarrassed, the embarrassing is someone else, this method is absolutely to the point, and the relatives may not want to ask you next time; Anyway, when you encounter an embarrassing problem, it's okay to keep silent;

Finally, we can ask a relative's question (but the relationship should be good enough), for example, why is there no partner yet, you can say, why is your son and girl not yet! And why is your salary so small, it's better not to study if you study, you can say, let your son and girl stop studying, this way, it can definitely cure the disease, but it may make your relatives unhappy (haha);

In fact, relatives also care about us about these questions, so in the face of these questions, maybe we are very unhappy in our hearts, but we should also be happy, because it is still very important to be polite;

New Year, I wish you all a happy new year, I hope these kind interrogations will not bother you anymore, you can have a happy New Year, if you encounter a kind interrogation, we also have to be witty to face Oh, nothing more than to have an object, how much money do you make every month, in fact, face more, it doesn't matter!

To "watch people cook", you can tell the truth directly to relatives who have a more straightforward personality, and be tactful to relatives who like to inquire about other people's news.

It is good to maintain a calm mind in the face of the kind interrogation of relatives, and the attitude is not too perfunctory.

When you go home for the Chinese New Year and face the interrogation of relatives, you can poke their sore spots, such as the child's grades, the child's work, the child's love situation, etc.

There are a lot of young people who are afraid of the New Year, so if you don't know how to deal with your relatives, you shouldn't let yourself go to the New Year all the time. Usually if relatives are difficult to get along with, then it will also lead to exhaustion, it will take a lot of time, and you will not have a way to take care of yourself, so be sure to solve the problems between you before communicating. If you come to pay your respects during the Chinese New Year, you must calm yourself down.

1. Don't get angry.

When a lot of people get home, relatives introduce them to someone, and even if you hate it, you need to know what to do. Everyone's thoughts are different, if relatives have a good relationship with your family, and you use this attitude, then they will not be able to get along with your parents, so for some relatives who must be seen, you have to stop in moderation, if you can, you can't go, no matter what the situation, as long as you meet someone you don't like, don't force yourself. Many people can't get along with their parents, let alone relatives, so you have to stay by yourself when relatives get together.

Second, express your thoughts to them.

Many relatives want to introduce you to someone because they don't think you have it, and if you don't want to, you can also share your thoughts with everyone. Don't allow yourself to tolerate it all the time when you feel that your relatives are nagging, because it may also cause them to feel that you agree, so there must be a barrier between parents.

3. Summary. You should smile or smile during the New Year, if you always have a straight face, then others don't want to come to your house to pay New Year's greetings. For example, some relatives like to take advantage of it, so you have to lock your door during the Chinese New Year, otherwise they will want to take everything they see, and it will make you feel very painful.

Don't show it on your face if you hate it, it will also make your relatives feel very embarrassed.

Today's young people generally use the following four ways to deal with various kinds of coercion from relatives during the Chinese New Year1. Endure in silence; 2. Resistance; 3. Nonsense literature; 4. Stay away

First of all, most of China's relatives like to ask the younger generation a false argument during the New Year, how much is the monthly income, whether you have bought a house or a car, whether the object has been found, etc., but no one has ever asked young people if they are happy and hard working outside, and most young people choose to endure silently when they encounter such problems, because many young people may go back once a year, and they don't want to tear their faces with their relatives during the New Year.

Secondly, some young people may be more confident at home, so they usually have a very disgusted attitude towards the persecution of relatives, and this part of the young people encounter various coercion from their elders, and they generally choose to resist, which may be very embarrassing at the time, but after such embarrassment, the elders will understand that the bottom line of young people is **, and they will not dare to ask these questions that have nothing to do with themselves in the future, which is also the most effective way in my opinion, which is much better than silently enduring.

In addition, nonsense literature will only become popular in 2021, and nonsense literature refers to using some innocuous words when facing the other party's problems, so that it can not only ask questions, but also not hurt the peace, for example, when the other party asks you what your salary is, we can: "Sometimes more, sometimes less." "It looks like it's a problem, but it's actually nothing that says anything clearly.

Finally, there is a good way, that is, to avoid this part of the relatives directly, the relatives who only meet once a year are obviously not down-to-earth relatives, and young people are not willing to be wronged, so when they see those relatives who love to ask questions, they directly choose to avoid them, and they can avoid a lot of trouble without communicating with them.

Today's young people generally use the following four ways to deal with various kinds of coercion from relatives during the Chinese New Year1. Endure in silence; 2. Resistance; 3. Nonsense literature; 4. Stay away

First of all, most of China's relatives like to ask the younger generation a false argument during the New Year, how much is the monthly income, whether you have bought a house or a car, whether the object has been found, etc., but no one has ever asked young people if they are happy and hard working outside, and most young people choose to endure silently when they encounter such problems, because many young people may go back once a year, and they don't want to tear their faces with their relatives during the New Year.

Secondly, some young people may be more confident at home, so they usually have a very disgusted attitude towards the persecution of relatives, and this part of the young people encounter various coercion from their elders, and they generally choose to resist, which may be very embarrassing at the time, but after such embarrassment, the elders will understand that the bottom line of young people is **, and they will not dare to ask these questions that have nothing to do with themselves in the future, which is also the most effective way in my opinion, which is much better than silently enduring.

In addition, nonsense literature will only become popular in 2021, and nonsense literature refers to using some innocuous words when facing the other party's problems, so that it can not only ask questions, but also not hurt the peace, for example, when the other party asks you what your salary is, we can: "Sometimes more, sometimes less." "It looks like it's a problem, but it's actually nothing that says anything clearly.

Finally, there is a good way, that is, to avoid this part of the relatives directly, the relatives who only meet once a year are obviously not down-to-earth relatives, and young people are not willing to be wronged, so when they see those relatives who love to ask questions, they directly choose to avoid them, and they can avoid a lot of trouble without communicating with them.

When you go home for the New Year, there will definitely be relatives who don't want to face annoyance, especially those who look down on people and ask you, how much is your salary? Have you ever bought a house? Is there a car? Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

If this relative is the kind of person who has no bad intentions, but his level is limited, and he is reliable, there is no need to scold him, be basically polite, and just take care of it or not. This kind of person can generally see the height of the eyebrows. If this relative is the kind of person who has a bad personality and character and is not recognized by the family, you can stay away.

Because if you scold him, he will spread all over the world how you are not good, how you are not good at home. In the end, if he just can't bear it anymore, then laugh at him! Let him not be able to pick out the thorns of the clan and be uncomfortable!

If you meet their relatives, you do the following first.

Stay calm in the moment.

Relatives seem to have a special skill that can provoke you at any time. However, if you are really angry, you can only make yourself more emotional and make things worse. Keep your emotions in control when embarrassing situations arise.

Learn to be aware of when you become angry or impatient. When you're triggered, walk away for a while and breathe in some fresh air, counting from 1 to 100, or practice deep breathing.

Show self-confidence by using the "I" statement.

If you have an argument with a relative who is difficult to get along with, practicing and expressing self-confidence can save you from being bullied. It is advisable to express exactly what you mean in as few words as possible. Use phrases that start with "I" to allow you to take control of your feelings and express what you need without causing resistance from the other person.

For example, you could say, "I don't appreciate you speaking for me. Can you make these questions on your own? ”。

You don't have to feel guilty.

Difficult relatives often take advantage of your feelings of guilt. They try to sway your decisions by making you feel guilty, which is a form of emotional abuse. You don't fall into a trap.

Let's say your aunt says, "Well, I've come all the way, and I thought you'd at least let me choose the menu for the event." "You can do this:

Auntie, please don't try to make me guilty. We'll let you choose between dessert and one main course, and we'll vote collectively on the rest of the menu.

Listen to what they have to say.

Have you ever listened carefully to what those difficult relatives of yours have to say? Sometimes, all people want is to be heard. Also, part of what the person said may be right.

Actively listening to what they have to say may make them feel recognized and may also make you less misunderstood.