How to scare relatives to get married during the Spring Festival?

As you get older, if you don't find a partner for a long time, you can't avoid the soul torture of the seven aunts and eight aunts: Is there a partner? People your age are married and have children, and it's time for you to think about your marriage......

Tell your parents what you really think in your heart, you can persuade your parents to explain that at this stage, you will focus on your career first, and you will not consider marriage for the time being, and you will not find a suitable one, let them give themselves a little time, agree on a deadline, and if they do not find a suitable one, let them find a partner to arrange a blind date, and after reaching a consensus on the issue of starting a family, they will also let their parents help them deal with other elders.

Anyway, it's only once a year, just listen to them and nod your head to deal with the past, don't take it to heart, they won't force you to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau, the elders have a good original intention, and they may also say casually, if you do it with them in this matter, it is inevitable that there will be quarrels and an awkward atmosphere during the New Year.

My cousin is in his 30s and hasn't finished yet, what am I anxious about" "Auntie, where did you make your hair, so you look young", leading the war to other places, if you really can't transfer it, you will fabricate it out of thin air, saying that you have a dating partner, and you are currently investigating each other, and when the time is ripe, you will take him home when the relationship between the two develops steadily.

1, this person is relatively unelegant, earlier also euphemistically expressed the attitude of not getting married, but they also have no intention of restraint, now I say directly: Seeing that your marriage is so bad, I dare to marry! Come one by one.

2. I can't be scared, because I have tried, as long as you express your displeasure and put on your face, all relatives, including your parents, will say that you are not. The best way is to move out, out of sight and out of mind, make more money as soon as possible, and use the fact that you are living a very good life alone to gag their mouths.

3. I have a cousin, and his father urged him to marry this year. His father said, "I'm almost thirty years old, so don't hurry up and start a family!" He replied, "You still say that I was married at the age of thirty-three, and I want to be like you." Then his dad fell silent.

4. My mother often said, "When I'm your age, you can make soy sauce." You are not married, you sincerely want to be angry with me. When your parents say this, what you should do at this time is to shut up and don't confront your parents, otherwise it will be a long cold war ......

5. When I returned to my hometown during the Spring Festival, my brother and sister were all married, and the only cousin had already given birth to a child, so it was inevitable that there would be indiscriminate bombardment from relatives. Relative: "You are not too young, hurry up and find a partner, and don't be single when you go home next year."

Me: "Actually, I already have a guy I like." "My sister:

Brother, don't be impulsive, it's easy to say anything. Me: "I think it's good to say, hehe!

> In short, marriage is not child's play, it is not necessary to get married for the sake of getting married, but the elders urge marriage out of concern for you, although you have your own ideas, but you must also respect them.

The first move: "behind-the-ear" defense.

I'm urging marriage! ”

emmm……Who is Tryfen? ”

Defense mechanism is a psychological term used in the psychoanalytic school of psychology to mean an adaptive tendency of people to reduce anxiety when they are faced with a difficult situation.

Psychology has evolved to this day, and the defense mechanism is also evolving with the times.

In the process of fighting wits and courage with parents and relatives, pretending to be stupid behind the ear is a basic trick.

The principle is to consume the patience of the elders, change the topic, and nip the topic of marriage urging in the bud.

In the face of all kinds of soul torture from relatives and friends, adhering to the tenet of "pretending to be stupid smartly and perfunctory seriously", we implemented the core spirit of "selective attention, intermittent deafness, and continuous pretending to be deaf and dumb", creating a harmonious, warm and happy Spring Festival atmosphere.

People, you still have to choose behind your ears in order to live happily.

The second trick: attention transfer method.

Auntie, sit down, does your child have a second child? ”

If you want to use this trick well, you need quick reflexes and active execution.

People's attention resources are limited, and if you can take the lead and encourage the other party to turn their attention to their own home, the chance of urging marriage is much less.

Auntie, sit down, is your child married? ”

Uncle, drink saliva, where does your child work? ”

Auntie, where did your child buy a house? How much is a square meter? ”

Always pay attention to throwing sensitive topics such as square dancing, pension, marriage, work, mortgage, and second child to each other, so as to take the initiative in the anti-marriage urging struggle.

Let your aunt and uncle show off, or complain a few words, enhance interaction, and it is better than being urged.

Even, there are some distressed aunts who will spit out their bitterness to you in the process of talking about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, saying that modern marriage is not easy, and naturally they are even more embarrassed to urge marriage.

The third trick: reasonable empathy method.

I know you're in a hurry, I know it! (tears).

Once upon a time, I had a friend who tried to reason with my parents when they were urging them to get married.

Now, he has enteritis because his whole intestine is green.

This story tells us that when discussing the issue of marriage urging with our parents, we must maintain a strong desire to survive: avoid reasoning, avoid trying to persuade others, avoid death, and empathize.

Focus: Empathy ≠ reasoning.

Empathy is about empathizing with someone else's feelings and emotions.

Mom, I know you're in a hurry, but it's really hard to find a partner if you're ugly. ”

I'm as anxious as you, but it's useless for me to be anxious without a car, a house, or ......”

I understand your ......”

I understand your feelings......”

Proper empathy, in addition to reducing the number of times my parents urge me to marry, can also promote family care and harmony, for example, my parents will close their eyes and comfort me that I am not ......ugly

ForThe elders urge marriage, and the juniors should be fully mentally prepared, and there is no need to refute them, because they are also well-intentioned, and the method may not be appropriate, so we should understand more instead of complaining.

1. Communicate effectively with the elders and family members.

Loved ones want you to bring back an object out of concern for you. And you should also let go of your mental baggage, communicate with your parents in a timely manner, and pass on your true thoughts and concepts of marriage and love to your family, so as to strive for their understanding and reduce pressure on yourself. In fact, no parent wants to make their children anxious because of their expectations.

No matter what, they still hope that the children can come home and have a happy Spring Festival together.

2. Clarify the main indicators of the object you are looking for.

But try to be as specific as possible. And the indicators should not be too many, one to three is fine, and all aspects are equal to no indicators. Among the specific indicators, it is necessary to distinguish which ones are primary and which are secondary, and avoid taking the indicators that are the icing on the cake as important indicators to measure each other, and the result is that you pick up the sesame seeds and lose the watermelon.

3. Improve the environment as much as possible.

Single people should not "wait for the rabbit", they can be more active, expand their communication, and find a suitable marriage partner in a larger range.

4. Remember to take the initiative.

Older young women should abandon the psychology of "men chasing women, which is the right way to fall in love". Equality between men and women has been shouted for a century, why can't women chase men? If you have a feeling, you chase it, and this is the attitude that is truly responsible for yourself.

Pay attention and you will find that there is no shortage of good men around you.

Now many older men and women are facing the dilemma of being urged to marry, many people in their thirties and forties are still single, and there is no suitable object, or they don't want to find a partner at all, so this is indeed a problem, but also a tricky trouble, but no matter what, we should maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, communicate with the elders and parents, understand their thoughts more, and say what is in their hearts, so that they can understand each other and maintain the relationship well!

Because many young people are now older and unmarried, the age of marriage is generally delayed, the elders will inevitably have some marriage urging psychology, although they are for the good of their younger generations, but they ignore the psychology of the younger generations, and exert a lot of psychological pressure on the younger generations, in response to the urging of these relatives, there are the following three solutions:

We should know the reason first, first of all, list some data to convince relatives how difficult it is to find the object now, you can start from the pressure of young people's lives, such as housing prices are too high, you don't want to get married if you don't buy a house, the salary is not high enough, you don't dare to find a partner without savings, and you don't dare to get married and have children, you can also tell relatives and friends that there are a lot of divorced people, and you need to think about it when you get married, otherwise you will be unhappy even if you get married, so that they can understand the difficulties of young people.

Then we should move with affection, the elders are most afraid of young people are unwilling to find a partner, at this time you have to tell them that you also want to find a partner very much, you don't want to be lonely for the rest of your life, you just want to slowly meet the person you really like, you are more cautious about marriage, more serious about feelings, so you don't want to rush to find a partner, at this time you can also pretend to ask them to help you pay attention to the right object, if they say they can introduce you to the object, arrange a blind date, You can also say that you already have a crush, but you haven't pursued it yet. Don't tell your elders that you want to marry a few years later, but tell them that you are also very eager to find a partner, so that they don't rush you.

Finally, we can look at the relationship with relatives, if it is just a very ordinary relationship, they urge you to find a partner, they may just express their concern, and they don't want to put pressure on you so much, you just need to get your family, so that your family is not so anxious to urge you to get married, let your family stand on the same front as you, the urging of other relatives is not heavy, you don't have psychological pressure on yourself because of their urging, make your life unhappy. Everyone wants to live their own life, as for whether others are married, many people are just polite and caring in conversation, and they will not keep staring at whether he is married.

What do you think on this topic?

If I were faced with such a scenario, then I would focus directly on the door and play with my phone and ignore them. A better way to say it is to directly stop the other party's greetings, or you can directly tell the other party about your relationship, you can also directly make up an object, or you can directly tell the other party that you will find a partner next year, and you can also directly close the door and not talk about it.

In the face of relatives' urging to marry, you can laugh and joke, saying that there is no opposite sex around you, and the circle of friends is relatively narrow, take the initiative to ask relatives for introduction, or you can divert your attention and take the initiative to ask relatives some more sensitive questions, such as pension, marriage, work, and mortgage.

During the Spring Festival, in the face of the urging of relatives to marry, you can show that you want to develop your career first and then get married, or you can show that you don't want to get married in the near future, or that you have a development object that is currently developing and is not in a hurry.

During the Spring Festival, it is inevitable that you will encounter the urging of relatives to get married, and everyone will resolve it wittily, tell funny stories to change the topic, or use some reasons to prevaricate the past, and integrate into this atmosphere as soon as possible.

We may all feel uneasy and anxious when we are urged to marry by relatives during the Chinese New Year, but we must remember that there is a way to deal with anything, whether it is being urged to marry or the marriage plan is delayed, there is no need to be too anxious. Here are some of the best tips for refusing to urge you to get married, so you can stay on your feet:

1. Don't come close.

The best defensive strategy may be to avoid it outright, not to have more contact with the problem, and even if someone urges you to do so, don't be swayed by this and use your mind to move the conversation to another topic.

Second, the shed fails to shift the focus.

Once someone asks a question and you want to avoid it, you can try to shift the focus to other aspects, such as work, study, etc., and lead the topic to other aspects.

3. Polite refusal.

If the pressure to be urged to marry is too great, the best thing to do is to politely refuse, you can say to the other party: "Thank you for your invitation and concern all the time, however, my marriage plan is not withered within the scope of my plan, I don't want to waste everyone's precious time, I hope you can understand." In this way, even if the other person does not agree, you can maintain a humble, sincere, respectful attitude and maintain your own posture.

Fourth, act according to the situation.

When you are urged to marry, whether it is you or your family, take action according to the situation, whether it is immediately refusing to urge marriage, or postponing marriage plans, there must be practical actions to respect the feelings of the family to the greatest extent.

The above is the best way to refuse to urge marriage, and the things related to the family, we must be more considerate, not forced, but to respect each other's needs, but also to adhere to their own position, and finally embark on their own determined path.