I m homesick because I m married, and I m sad?

I think that's what can happen after a long marriage, and we can understand it.

Whether it is worth marrying far away depends on whether the person you marry and the family are worth marrying. If they are more reasonable, understanding and supportive, everything is negotiable. But a husband like you, who doesn't know how to hurt people, it's really not worth it for you to leave your hometown and leave your parents who love you.

Since I have chosen to marry far away, I have to face this kind of thing, because I can't change my real life.

You have already considered this problem when the original price was made, but you didn't expect it to be so sad, so it's better to adjust your mentality.

Since you have chosen to marry far away, you have to face a lot of problems, and you must face them, first of all, you must be strong, be strong to deal with all the things around you, and then you must protect yourself. In addition, now that the means of communication are so developed, you can communicate with your parents, sisters, and **.

It's normal, because you're not having a good time right now, so you're homesick.

That's not going to work, so you can take your parents into your house. Or maybe you persuade your lover to go back to your hometown with you to work. This is the price paid for love in the first place.

In fact, life is quite heavy. It's not easy to find the right lover. It's easy to get on the boat and hard to get off the boat.

No matter how bad it is, it's your own choice.

Being a daughter-in-law must be done with housework. So that's it.

It's your choice, and you've taken it. You can only stay at home for a while during the Chinese New Year.

Marrying far away, nine times out of ten, is by no means alarmist. Only after marrying far away, the trembling key Yu knows that marrying far away is not only about love, there are many practical problems in front of us. Most of the girls who marry far away will face the following difficulties, and sadness and grievances are inevitable.

When a daughter gets married, it means that she is getting farther and farther away from her parents. And girls who marry far away will aggravate this distance. Before many girls get married, they think that now that the transportation is developed, as long as they want to go home, book a ticket online, and leave as soon as they say, distance is not a problem at all.

But after marrying far away, I realized that distance is really not a problem, time and money are. Since she married far away, the default is that the girl wants to integrate into the life of her in-laws, and Eggplant Yan also lives according to the rhythm of her in-laws. I usually go to work, and everyone around me asks to go back to my mother-in-law's house to live during the New Year's holidays, and in such an environment, I find it really difficult to go back to my own home.

Not to mention that after pregnancy and childbirth, the child is inseparable from the mother when he is young, and it is inconvenient for the mother to go far away as a mother. When the children are older, go to school, work, and want to take time to go back to their parents' house for a while, it is not easy. One of my cousins married far away, so she went back to her parents' house for half a month in the first year of marriage, and she didn't go back to her parents' house for three years, and the child saw her grandfather for the first time when she was three years old.

This is the status quo that many girls who marry far away will face, and their mother's family is no longer ready to go back, even if their parents are sick, it is difficult to stay by their side and fulfill their filial piety. For their daughters who marry far away, many parents choose to report good news rather than bad news, and when they are sick and hospitalized, they will choose to hide their daughters. Therefore, a daughter who marries far away is destined to owe her parents.

One side of the water and soil supports one side of the people, and the influence of hometown language and diet on a person is engraved in the bones. Once a girl chooses to leave her hometown and marry far away, she has to adapt to a strange city and an unfamiliar environment, and the living habits she has developed since childhood are difficult to change, which means that the girl has to carry the imprint of her original hometown to adapt to the new life in the city. People who marry far away are all people who leave their parents to protect Liangtan, and if they really encounter any problems, even if their parents have the heart, they can't help.

If a person marries out of town, has no friends, no relatives, your whole world is that man, and if he doesn't love you enough, life may become hopeless.

A netizen said something like this: "It's really sad to marry far away, although I didn't marry far away, but there are people around me who marry far away, help my mother-in-law's family harvest rice, and cook for the children when I come back, my mother-in-law plays mahjong at home, and she doesn't even cook, she can't stand it, she runs outside alone, sits on the side of the road and cries, it's really uncomfortable to watch." ”

Marrying far away, and then meeting the in-laws' family is not good, the sadness in it is only cleared when lying in the bed and crying secretly every day.

As a person who has come over, I think there are a lot of sad things, and there will be differences due to local cultural differences. It will be because of the different tastes of the food, which Tong is not used to eating. I also feel hopeless because I have no relatives when I am angry and quarrelsome.

Especially after having a child's delay, the sense of loss that can't keep up with the changes and can't return to his parents' house is very uncomfortable. Many times, these pains can only be swallowed in the stomach. But these emotions can't be expressed in the in-law's house, and they can't be told to the mother's family.

First, the in-laws have no backing for fear of being bullied. Second, I am afraid that I will be worried after telling my mother's family. People need to get along slowly.

Especially if you live with your in-laws, everyone is slowly changing and accommodating each other. I'm glad that I've survived those years, and now my life is getting better and better. So you don't have to worry so much, you will definitely meet someone who will move you and tolerate you with the whole family. Come on!

First, whether the man and family are reliable enough.

This is very important. How to see if this man and family are reliable enough? You can take a look at the following first:

In addition to the above description, it also depends on whether the man and his family are sincere enough. What do you think? When their interests conflict with yours, whose interests do they consider more?

For example, if you have a good job in another city, and a man asks you to go to his city to get married and live, can you find the same good job, if you can't find it, what do you plan, it is the man who helps you solve the work problem, if you can't solve it, will the man make you feel more secure and sacrifice part of your own interests? For example, the house you bought before marriage with your name, the bride price is a little higher and other tangible benefits, rather than saying that it will be good to you in the future, of course, our main purpose is not to draw a man's material, but a sincere man will definitely consider the girl who marries far away, if the man only lets you sacrifice your interests, and does not make any concessions to your own interests, you have to consider whether the man is worth marrying.

Second, whether the in-laws are easy to get along with.

For a girl who marries far away, when she goes to a strange city and is not familiar with life, her in-laws' family and relatives are almost all her social circle at the beginning. If your in-laws live with you and your relatives come and go, if they don't get along, it may affect your relationship with your husband. These people will go a long way in determining whether you are happy to marry far away.

Before that, you need to observe more whether this man is a mother's boy, whether the straight man is cancerous, whether he can be independent economically and spiritually, how his in-laws get along, whether he is very strong, etc.

Only if your husband is financially independent, spiritually independent, assertive, thoughtful, and her in-laws are sensible and get along harmoniously can you get married, otherwise you are likely to jump into the fire pit.

Third, whether you can adapt to the local diet and climate.

When you are in love, many girls only care about you fighting and I go to envy, rarely take into account the diet, climate can get used to it, but these are really important, if you marry far away, this is not used to it, that is not used to it, often aggravate your sense of loss in the empty year, and these you need to face for the rest of your life, if you can't adapt, it is recommended to carefully consider whether to marry far away.

Fourth, quickly establish your own circle and career.

Because you are married far away, you are not familiar with the local life, and the circle of the past is gradually distancing, and without the help of your mother's family, you need to quickly establish your own circle, when you are wronged at home, you can also find friends to confide in, so that you can get support.

Your own career is also very important, your in-law's attitude towards yourself largely depends on your income or the strength of your mother's family, and the girl who marries far away has limited help from her mother's family, so you have to rely on yourself even more, so you must develop your own career and strive for more income, so that your mother-in-law's family will pay more attention to you and let you be wronged.

I often see the suffering of girls who marry far away on the Internet, but I personally think that there is no inevitable connection between marrying far away and being tired. Compared with marrying far away, many difficulties such as poverty and marrying the wrong person will make life more tiring.

1) Poor couples mourn everything. The life of firewood, rice, oil and salt is locked and realistic, there is no enough income to maintain the income needed for life or the corresponding earning ability, struggling on the edge of survival every day, and falling into deep distress for a few cents of silver, which is the most bitter thing.

Many people may think that it is not easy for a girl who marries far away to return home. However, relying on the current well-developed transportation network, it is not difficult to go back to my parents' home and visit my parents in two or three months. Moreover, if conditions permit, you can even bring your parents to your side, and the whole family can enjoy the joy of family.

2) Compared with marrying far away, many things that need to be faced and compromised every day such as not fitting with the values and lifestyle of the person next to the pillow will make people more tired.

When you get married, the first choice is to choose the right person, not the one who is close. If you miss the right person because you don't want to marry far away, and choose someone who you don't like so much, the suffering of the subsequent life will only be more helpless and painful than marrying away.

Therefore, the deeper reason why people feel tired is the reality and human problems, not necessarily the long-distance marriage.

It is indeed more difficult and tiring to marry far away, there will always be various problems in life, and it is easier to magnify some things after marrying far away, and it will be more difficult.

Common Problems of Distant Marriage:

1. When there is a family conflict, there is nowhere to go.

If you marry the right person, you can get care and love, and live happily, then it's better, but if you marry into a family that is not satisfactory, once there is a family conflict, the woman does not even have a safe haven. If you are so angry, you may slam the door and leave, but when you leave the house, you will find that you have nowhere to go. Although the transportation is convenient now, it is definitely very difficult to pack your luggage and take the baby out of the house.

And some people report good news to their parents but not bad news, they want to complain to their parents, and they are afraid that they will be anxious, and finally think about it, it is better to endure it, and then they will go home in disgrace, and maybe they will be ridiculed by their husbands, this is the most involuntary pain of marrying far away.

2. In a new environment, everything has to start again.

Marrying far away means putting aside your current job and connections, going to a new place to start over, accumulating a few years of experience may be in vain, a city has a unique style of the city, the work needs to be adapted, the environment needs to be adapted, and interpersonal communication takes a lot of effort to operate. But when the marriage loses its initial shelf life, the man forgets how you turned your back on your parents to follow him, and he will take all your efforts for granted.

3. It will accumulate complaints, which is not conducive to the relationship between husband and wife.

Many women feel that they have married him all the way, so they should be pampered, loved, taken care of, and not wronged. But regardless of whether you marry far away or not, married life is more of a chicken feather, and when the contradictions accumulate day by day, it will inevitably erupt. The difference between long-distance marriage is that the woman will emphasize her contribution to long-distance marriage every time she quarrels, in order to show that she is very wronged, but after a long time, the man hears this, "It's for you, I guess to marry so far."

It is not conducive to the stability of the parents' relationship.

4. Unable to take care of parents, willing but powerless.

Nowadays, many girls are only daughters, and they have been spoiled by their parents since childhood, and if they marry far away, the number of times they will be in their mother's house is very limited, after all, after getting married and having children, time does not belong to them. If the parents are healthy and peaceful, but once the parents are sick or have an accident, and they are not around, it will be a lifetime of guilt and regret.