My husband is really filial, and my mother in law is very selfish, and I live together

If your husband is really so filial, then it would be better for you to live separately. After living separately, you can often go home to visit, so that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be eased and there will be fewer conflicts between each other. First of all, convince your husband.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem in many families now, and this kind of problem generally needs to be dealt with by your husband.

Three strategies, understand and adapt to her, find a way to live separately and divorce. Choose one.

A breakthrough should be sought from your mother-in-law.

Please calm down, share your husband's family and his personal situation, and whether he has the ability and strength to divorce and remarry? Because even if you are foolish, you will know how to weigh the pros and cons. Divorce comes at a cost and cost, is he really able to afford it?

Because you didn't talk about your family's financial problems, you only mentioned the fact that your mother-in-law is strong and interferes in your life. In fact, the mother-in-law's strength is largely due to her personal personality problems, or perhaps because she has mastered the economic lifeline of the extended family and other key resources, if you and your husband are financially dependent on her, such as living in the mother-in-law's house, then you want to get rid of the mother-in-law's interference and strength, which may be more difficult.

Here's where you can start:

1. First of all, be financially independent and strive for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to live separately.

As the saying goes, the economic base determines the superstructure. If you want to really get rid of the strong mother-in-law, then work hard to make money, try to buy your own house or rent your own house, and move out of your mother-in-law's house. After all, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two generations, and the ideas and experiences are too far apart, so if the two insist on living together, contradictions and conflicts are naturally indispensable.

Being financially independent and living separately from your mother-in-law is also a good way for your husband to gradually get rid of his dependence on his mother-in-law. If a person is not financially independent, he will not be able to talk about many things, let alone get rid of emotional dependence.

2. You communicate more with your husband and strive to make him unite with you.

The relationship between husband and wife is the anchor of the family, and only when the relationship between husband and wife is good can the family be stable and harmonious. It is suggested that you usually care more about and respect your husband, encourage him to take charge of himself, let him make his own decisions in everything, and strive to let him unite with you, instead of obeying his mother in everything.

If your husband has been listening to his mother, then it proves that he is emotionally dependent on your mother-in-law. This "psychology of dependence" is difficult to determine clearly for a while. Therefore, the handling of the contradictions between this mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is undoubtedly a protracted battle, and I hope you will be mentally prepared in advance.

3. Respect your mother-in-law at all times, but don't be overly submissive.

Respecting each other and having a clear sense of boundaries is the key to a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Treat your mother-in-law with proper respect and respect for your elders.

However, if there are some things and some principles, you still have to show your attitude, be gentle in tone, and firm in your attitude. Everyone has their own opinions, but we need to respect each other's differences, and respect and understand each other more.

The most important thing is to take care of yourself. If not, go to your mother's house to live for a while, take care of the child yourself after giving birth, and watch the child by himself. Earn less and earn less, at least you can feel more comfortable.

My mother-in-law didn't want to come, and she might not be able to treat you well. Besides, it's confinement.

The main thing is not to talk to your husband and let him deal with it, if he also thinks that the child should be brought by your mother, then you can bring it yourself, anyway, there is no money, and the pressure is also your husband's, it is estimated that your mother-in-law will watch you bring it yourself, and she has no way to bring it.

Dear, maybe your expectations for your mother-in-law are too high! In fact, a mother-in-law can never become a mother-in-law, so you can't ask your mother-in-law with your mother's requirements. My mother-in-law came a week before I was born, and the day after I finished the confinement, my mother-in-law left.

In the present tense, I take care of the children by myself. I'm also used to it, because I know that a mother-in-law is a mother-in-law!

It's best not to let your mother-in-law take care of confinement, because confinement is related to the fate of a woman, if you do well, you are a person, and if you don't do well, you are a ghost, only if you have a good body, everything is not difficult.

This kind of husband is the most important thing to be virtuous with my husband I don't want my mother-in-law to come He asked for it hard The result is not a mess After I came, I sued every day Now I directly told him to go back I will never come to take my son again Otherwise I will tell his son to get out with him.

Such a mother-in-law has nothing to say, you ask her whose surname the child is, and if it is with the grandmother's surname, bring it to your mother.

Let your husband tell her that the child was born with their surname, why don't they care about anything and let your mother come over to help?

Don't let the child call grandma, she doesn't care.

Let's talk about it first, and if it really doesn't work, take care of a babysitter.

Summary. Because my father-in-law is too selfish and my husband is blindly stupid, I don't want to go back to my mother-in-law's house, this situation shows that the problem of your family is particularly big, so at this time, you must have a good ditch with your husband, that is, tell him what you think in your heart, if it really doesn't work, ask your husband not to live with his parents, the two of you move out to live, of course, if your husband really doesn't listen to this, you can definitely leave this home, go back to your mother's house for a while.

Because my father-in-law is too selfish and my husband is blindly stupid, I don't want to go back to my mother-in-law's house.

Because my father-in-law is too selfish and my husband is blindly stupid, I don't want to go back to my mother-in-law's house, this situation shows that the problem of your family is particularly big, so when this Liang meets a time, you must have a good ditch with your husband, that is, tell him what you think in your heart, if it really doesn't work, ask your husband not to live with his parents, guess the scum hunger, you two move out and return to live, of course, if your husband really doesn't listen to this, you can definitely leave this home, go back to your mother's house for a while.

Originally, I didn't want to go home for the New Year this time, because my father-in-law had a big birthday, and I also told my husband that his parents would protect me when they spoke ugly, and he promised me to come back. But when I came back, my husband was the same as before. I don't have my own parents, I was brought up by relatives, and I come back once a year.

On the first day of junior high school, my husband was drunk because he was happy and had a little drinking, and my father-in-law was angry at home, and then I didn't want my husband to go back to my parents' house to pay New Year's greetings, so as not to drink. Tonight, I am arranging that I must finish the New Year's worship tomorrow, and I will come back immediately if I don't eat. My aunts and uncles are all together, and there is an aunt far away, and those cousins and husbands who married out of my family will go there every year to pay New Year's greetings.

So I can't finish the New Year in one day, and I also want to chat with my family.

Oh, you can tell your in-laws directly what you think in your heart, and you don't want to give them face in this case, which means that you must show a certain attitude.

I was in the hall, and they were talking in the back kitchen, and I overheard it. I don't want to say anything about the judgment, my in-laws I understand, they want to imitate but they are not my biological parents, and they hate to destroy the clan so much that I don't even want to recognize my mother's family.

They are uneducated, they can't communicate.

Alas, such in-laws are more simple, that is, they are more selfish or have no pattern, and the situation of the little old man and little lady in the countryside, don't worry about them.

Well, I'm too lazy to earn that reason with them now, but I'm not happy and want to find someone to talk to. That's why I found you.

I understand you, I understand you, it's okay, you don't live with them, what about this situation, you don't see each other often, and you don't get upset.

I've lived in a piece for more than ten years, and I've endured it, but when they do too much and meet me in a bad mood, I will fight back, and I usually don't bother to answer them.

You mean that we have lived together for more than ten years, and I thought we hadn't lived together.

Every family has a difficult scripture, everyone's life is different in terms of thinking or living habits, we can't change it, noisy, angry, it's not worth it at all, and in the end it makes you physically and mentally exhausted, the best way to do this is not to mix with their families, reduce life contact and friction, reduce mental torture.

No, I've been together for ten years, I feel that his family only thinks about his family, and really never thinks about others from a different perspective, I am good with his son, and I don't bother with the banquet, and I also said that my father died and spent thousands of yuan, saying that my father-in-law died, and his son didn't spend a penny, saying that my husband and I bought a house, his brother helped, and my eldest brother didn't help a little in the bank, look, how unsatisfied, it seems that people should help her, she just thinks about herself, and picks this and that, I really can't deal with it.

So what to do, his family is very dissatisfied, so many years, she didn't dare to say in front of others, my own parents raised me for so many years, I haven't been around to honor them for a day, she also asked us to go back every year, how old do you think she is, the children don't help us to bring, it's okay at home all day, walk here, go there, she doesn't help one of the four sons, there is such a mother-in-law, compared to her is not as educated as my parents, she is not reasonable at all, wronged, I really want to leave.

It's not a care, the family and relatives are like that, how to live in the second half of life, the good things people say are warm, I am poor, clean and hungry, I just want to live happily, not rare other people's anything, if you don't like it, don't force it, say what: My son earns money to support you Alas, old woman, my mother and father didn't support me, I will grow so big, I don't spend a penny of bride price, I get a daughter-in-law for nothing, and I am so fast and cold.

Keep the boundaries of your small family and grasp the boundaries of your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not related by blood, so it is impossible for a mother to get along well like a mother and daughter, and you must grasp the balance and boundaries. The husband and wife should be in charge, and the elders can't be involved, otherwise it will only become more and more chaotic.

What should be done by the husband should be taken responsibility by the husband, and the mother-in-law cannot be pushed to do all the things of the small family.

Express your feelings appropriately and stand your ground. Between people, the most important thing is respect. You don't respect me, why should I put up with you.

Chinese-style women are accustomed to blindly tolerating and wronging themselves. In fact, in the face of such a domineering mother-in-law, forbearance will only indulge her temper. If you ignore her, whatever temper she has, it only takes one or two times for her to be bored.

If a woman wants to be angry in marriage, whether she is a wife or a daughter-in-law, it must be based on equality and respect. Learn to express your feelings appropriately, and stick to your position as long as you accept that it is right.

As long as it doesn't affect your life, it doesn't matter, after all, your parents also need to be raised, if it has seriously affected your life, then you can talk to your husband and see what he thinks.

I think you should get a divorce. Because such a marriage will not be happy.

In this case, it is best to communicate more with your husband, and if nothing changes, it is best to choose divorce. Happiness is the most important thing.

Then you can communicate with your mother-in-law by yourself, and also let your mother-in-law understand her hard work, so that the whole family can understand each other. Of course, I also have to persuade my husband not to be too bottomless.

I think it depends on whether your in-laws are good to you, and if they are good to you, two people should really be filial to them.