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The crux of your problem is that you don't have self-confidence, not just emotionally, but also in life, in other people's attitudes towards you.
Taking a step back and thinking about it, two people living a life is not a special soldier to survive in the wild, and they don't need much strong living ability, so what is there to be afraid of. As for your entangled education and work, I suggest you be more tolerant, there are no perfect things and people in the world, when facing a choice, how to choose is the wisdom of life, you ask yourself, do you love her strengths, or do you care about her so-called "shortcomings"? I once liked a girl, also 7 years younger than me, I graduated from graduate school, she went to junior college, but she didn't like me after all, in fact, what I want to say is, if I were you, she would be that girl, I would marry her without hesitation.
Speaking of your lack of self-confidence and anxiety, I want to further analyze, the gap between your self and the ideal self is too big, if your perfect standard is difficult to achieve, then release your self, release your most direct thought, that is: you like her beauty, like her gentleness, like the happiness of being with her, and those worldly and ignorant evaluations of others will only make your choices strengthen your sense of self-identity.
Remember, the ego is powerful, don't care so much about the outside world, what others think, listen to your own voice.
If you think it's good, give it to me.
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If you haven't been independent before, you need to learn to be independent now. After all, after starting a family, both of them need to take the initiative to take on the corresponding family responsibilities.
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Phobia is a mental illness, it is recommended that you should do psychological counseling and ** to adjust, or you can self-adjust 1Relax your emotions and fight your nervousness with relaxation training2Appropriate diversion of attention, do not focus on yourself3
And participate in more social activities.
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Since you like her, then you should not dream about it, but put it into action, work hard, and give her a good future.
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I don't think there's any need to worry about being hungry, it's the best thing to be together.
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Recognizing Fear It is important to tell yourself clearly that at some point, all people have this fear. So don't make a fuss and don't think you're alone here. It's normal to be afraid of these things, so don't exaggerate them too much.
On the contrary, if you realize that this fear is not unique, but it is so annoying, find someone.
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A big reason for the fear of the future is that I don't have any advantages in life and work at the moment, and I have no choice but to improve my own abilities at this time.
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I think life is like this, we can't avoid unhappiness and pain, and the best way for you to overcome him is to face himStanding up from failure and growing from setbacks is not to have the right to speak after experiencing anything, but to experience and learn a lot from it, that is the authoritative speech. Just like you climb the ladder, you are scared at the beginning, and in the end you can still stand and walk over, this principle is the same as you are now, I still say the same thing, you don't take off your skin before the recruit goes down to the company, and you will cry in the future, don't miss any detail. So how do we overcome our fears for the future?
Let's see the world differentlyFor example, if you are hit by someone while walking, others apologize to you, sometimes you still feel very angry, but you didn't expect that the person who hit you was actually more uncomfortable than you, or think about the sentence "Happy is also a day, unhappy is also a day, why not be happy every day".
2.I believe in living in the moment, doing the best in the present, and doing what can best solve the problem. “"Worrying" will not solve the problem, but will add to the chaos, so do not "worry".
If you think that you are in a bad mood, you will be in a bad mood, then you don't have to think about it, if you still want to, then keep yourself busy, let yourself have no time to think about it, let yourself live every minute to the fullest, and then don't fall in love with the bed when you wake up in the morning, get up when you wake up, get busy, push open the window, breathe in the fresh morning air, relax your whole body, and let yourself imagine a happy little angel.
3.Choose a place with fresh air, quiet surroundings, soft light, undisturbed and free movement, and take a position that you feel comfortable in, standing, sitting or lying down.
4.Move some large joints and muscles of the body, the speed should be even and slow when doing it, and the action does not need to have a certain format, as long as you feel the joints let go and the muscles relax.
5.Take a deep breath, inhale slowly and exhale slowly, saying "relax" in your mind whenever you exhale.
6.Focus your attention on some everyday objects. For example, look at a flower, a little candlelight, or anything soft and beautiful, and look closely at its subtleties. Light some spices and inhale the aroma of it.
7.Close your eyes and try to imagine some tranquil and beautiful scenes, such as blue waters, golden sandy beaches, white clouds, mountains and water.
8.Do activities that you enjoy that have nothing to do with the specific things at hand. For example, swimming, taking a hot bath, shopping, listening, watching TV, etc.
Life is easy, life is easy, life is not easy. Don't worry, there are many people in this society who are almost the same as you, but they all live happily, not everyone can succeed, as long as you work hard to treat everythingBe serious about life, as long as you take every day seriously, but how your life is, I believe it is wonderful. Go for it!
Overcome those fears!
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Everyone has experienced fear, which is the self-preservation instinct of all animals, including humans. Fear arises from an inadequate or biased perception of the thing or phenomenon.
Many people are afraid of the future, feel that the road to success is too long, and they are very unconfident. Is there anything you're afraid of? Things are so unpredictable and unpredictable that we don't know what the future holds!
But how do we overcome it! And we really have to overcome it!
In fact, I also have ah, college classmates became managers, I earned money to buy a car and a house, I have nothing, and now I haven't found a suitable job, I feel that the road to success is so long, I feel that my friends are laughing at me, I feel that I always bring misfortune to my relatives and friends, I have no self-confidence, my mental and physical condition is not good, my heart is heavy, I have no self-confidence, I really don't know what will happen in the future!
But I thought I couldn't sink like this! Actually, I don't think anyone can point you to the best route. Fear of the futureThere is no one ultimate answer
In fact, the best of us is to pretend that we are not afraid of the future and seem to know what we are doing. But in reality, some people don't really get it. It's just that we're still hereTry to fix it
In fact,The vast majority of people are either extremely frightenedEither pretend not to be afraid, even when facing yourself. All we have to do is be positive. You are not alone on the road of lifeAnd to be honest, there is no real answer to this question. OnlyFace him positively!Beat it!
I believe that tomorrow will be better! Instead of acting angry or frustrated, what you should do is motivate yourself to succeed in the future.
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Fear of the unknown and fear of the future is the common nature of human beings. You don't have to be surprised.
People have no foresight, but they must have near-term worries. Born in sorrow, died in peace.
Therefore, a moderate amount of anxiety and fear about the future is not harmful to life.
Of course, it's too excessive, it's not good, and it needs to be adjusted.
First, improve their overall quality, level, and ability, and people with strong ability and sufficient reserves will often deal with difficulties more easily.
Second, rationally analyze whether your fear is unreasonable, and hope that you will eliminate the unreasonable and unimportant content.
Three, a hero and three gangs. You can communicate with others more, including chatting with relatives and friends, talking about career, study, life, etc. With a lot of people behind you to support you, you are less afraid.
As for mood regulation:
Sports, outings, reading, and journaling are all good ways to do this.
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In fact, there are many people who have the same fear as you, a simple sentence, as long as you can listen to it, you should be able to relieve your fear of the future, go with the flow, face every day positively, relax your spirit, do everything well, do not ask for the result only ask for the process, just relax the normal mind.
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Fear, everywhere, keeps us in a state of tension and anxiety.
Because of fear, many people choose to run away. It's like watching a horror movie, when you realize that a scary plot is about to play out, you cover your eyes with your hands and skip this paragraph.
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First of all, you have to know where your fear is, that is, what is the problem? This point must be understood by yourself, and then the best way to face the fear is to face it, if the overall confusion, then you have to think about why, in fact, the usual time is too idle, idle all day, if you understand what kind of life you want, you have already worked hard. Good luck.
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First of all, most people are fearful, worried, and rightly aware of the unknown future. The future does not come, that is to say everything is unknown, except death, but everyone will die. You are afraid of this and that, time has passed, you are not afraid, you live easily every day, and time has passed.
So why don't you be kind to yourself and the people around you?
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If you are afraid of the future, you must distinguish what you are afraid of, tomorrow is also the future, will you be afraid of tomorrow? If it's not the fear of the advancement of time, but the fear of some of the situations you will face, I suggest that you first distinguish which part of the fear is involved.
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Fear stems from a lack of security and self-confidence, and you can try to find what you want in life.
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Glad to answer this question for you! ~
Everyone will have a certain fear of the unknown tomorrow, especially the impact of the environment.
Learn to make some friends and read some books; Take a look around and make yourself more eye-catching and broad-minded.
Have the courage to face the difficulties in life and overcome them; Overcome it, and slowly you will become confident, mature and charismatic! ~
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;Approach the knowledge of goodness, and he is your guiding light.
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Practice more and make more friends.
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Four reasons for a lack of security.
1. Personal growth experience.
Growing up, old trauma, or having harsh parents are all factors that contribute to an individual's insecurity growing up. Such experiences make us feel insecure and feel that we are not important or good enough. If your parents are always criticizing and demanding that you be popular and successful, then you will be overly sensitive to what others are saying.
This lack of security is caused by a denial of one's own worth and an oversensitivity to the evaluation of others.
2. Recent experience of failure or rejection.
Recent events in our lives affect our emotions and how we perceive ourselves to a large extent. Failure or rejection in life can take a toll on a person's self-confidence and cause us to have a more negative view of ourselves and others. People with low self-esteem tend to react more strongly to failure, and previous experiences of similar failures and negative thoughts about their own worth are all reactivated and come to mind.
3. Caused by social anxiety.
You feel nervous, blushing, and unconfident in social situations such as parties, dates, and public conversations, and feel that someone is always paying attention to you. People are more concerned about what makes a good impression on others than about them. Those who are always judging and rejecting others are often hiding their lack of security.
Because of this, their evaluations are often less accurate: they value a person's physical characteristics more than their inner character.
4. Brought by perfectionism.
Perfectionists demand a lot of themselves in every way: the best grades, the best job, the perfect body, the ideal partner. Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, there are always things in life that are out of our control.
If you are depressed and blame yourself for not being perfect, you will feel insecure and worthless. Long-term denial and worrying that you're not good enough can lead to depression, eating disorders, or chronic fatigue.
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2020 is coming to an end, are you afraid of the future? ”
I'm not afraid of the future, I'm just afraid that nothing will happen in the past time".
Will you use this to summarize the outgoing 2019?
When I grew up, I found that adult time flies so fast, and when I was a child, I felt that it would take a long time to usher in the next Spring Festival, and now I have repeated it several times to go to work overtime and get off work at the end of the year. Looking back on the past year, nothing important seems to have happened, and life seems to be silent.
But is silence the truth of the year?
You will actually ask, there will be a weak voice in your heart asking, why? Why is life as if nothing is happening? When we face this problem head-on, we will find that there are many problems behind it, but the content is so uncomfortable that we want to ignore it, or even assume that it doesn't exist.
Have you ever had the idea of exercising a few times in your mind this year because of your body gaining weight?
Is there a moment this year when you want to really learn PPT from beginner to "proficient"?
Have you ever been in a chattering conference room where your brain suddenly quiets, thinking that your current job is not in the direction of your career and you desperately want to change?
Or do you want to pick up the habits of reading and writing that you have lost, maybe you can catch the last train from **?
Yes, you must have, and there is nothing else without these thoughts above.
Because this is what happens in the minds of each of us who are ordinary but fantasize that we are not ordinary.
We wanted to change, we wanted to grow, we wanted to break through, but we only stopped thinking, and then spent a quiet year in vague anxiety and self-blame.
What makes us think about it all the time but don't take a single step?
I think it's fantasy.
It's because if we don't take a step, we can stay in the fantasy that I "maybe can" be, and once we do, we have to face the frustration that I probably won't be the idealized version of ourselves.
Are we so impatient with what we want to achieve and our perfect selves that we muttered in front of the mirror on the first day of going to the gym that we burned a little fat? From the time I wrote the title of the first article, I started to think that this is too far from 10w+......
So much so that we didn't do anything because we were afraid that we wouldn't be able to have a bee waist and hips like a fitness blogger, didn't become an office PPT god, got a promotion and a salary increase without changing jobs, and couldn't become a 10w+ author, so nothing happened in retrospect.
In the end, this becomes a dilemma: we have a lot of ideas because we want to grow and change, but because we care too much about the outcome and are too afraid of the frustration of not achieving our perfect self, we don't dare to move, and even if we take the difficult first step, the feeling of being far away from the goal is always hindering us from taking action.
We are so fantasizing and impatient that we are so anxious for each goal that we stop at the first step.
It can be seen that you really like her, since your relationship is very good now, although he rejected you, it doesn't mean that he really doesn't have you in his heart, maybe she is now confused and confused, and has not sorted out her feelings, if you really can't give up, then wait, be patient, accompany him by his side, love her, and care about him. The girl's heart is very soft, you have been paying for him like this, he will know, he will be moved now, maybe he will fall in love with you in the future, don't worry, as long as you keep not giving up and work hard, I believe you will be able to be with him
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