The funniest jokes, send me one

1 Even if you are angry again, you have to smile and say: Your uncle!

2 One day the river overflowed, and there was a village where a corpse was floating by the river, and it was unrecognizable....Only the "lower body" is visible: it is a male corpse.

A village woman said: It's not me, it's not a man, it's not a village head, it's not an accountant.

A village aunt said: It's not a brother-in-law, it's not a brother-in-law, it's not Wang Wu.

A widow in the village touched it with her hand.

Speaking of: Let's go back, it's not from our village!

3 When you're walking down the road, if someone spills oil on you, they say to you, "Don't worry, there's a mystery that's fully automatic!" What do you do?

hit him until his kidney was deficient, and said to him, Don't be afraid, there are six flavors of Rehmannia pills to cure kidney deficiency and do not contain sugar!

A certain crew was filming outside the village. During the interval, a group of actors playing the roles of Kuomintang officers and soldiers did not unload, and then went into the village to find a toilet, and met an old peasant at the entrance of the village and asked him about the toilet. The old farmer excitedly shook the actor's hand and said:

When did you call back? Don't go to the toilet yet, I'll take you to catch the village cadres, these grandsons will run away when it's late!

A few girls said that I wasn't a man that day, and I got angry and said, "Do you want me to take it out and prove it to you?" A very good girl said:

Then you take it out and show me ......Then I took out my ID card and said, "Let's see if it's a man," and the other girls laughed and bent over.

A person farted in the office, and his colleague couldn't help but say: Can you not make a sound? Then I saw him sitting there shaking and shaking, and asked, "What are you doing?" He replied, "I am vibrating."

About doing household chores.

Husband: Let's divide the housework.

Wife: Okay. First of all, men should do dirty work, such as mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet, wiping the table, ......Husband: That's right.

Wife: You are studying science and engineering, I am studying liberal arts, you have to do the electrified things, such as washing machines, refrigerators, etc

Rice cooker, iron, ......

Husband: This ......Yes!

Wife: Outside the male lead, inside the female lead. You can do the work of dealing with outsiders, buy groceries, pay utility bills, pick up newspapers and milk, ......

Husband: Okay, okay, then what are you doing?

！Man:.

Is this the woman: Honey, is this dress pretty?

M: Beautiful.。!

Woman.. F: I just don't want to buy it for me: I know it's perfunctory! Woman: Honey, does this dress look good?

M: Khan, it's not good-looking.

When a millionaire drove a luxury stretched "Lincoln" sedan past a village, he saw two beggars pulling grass and eating on the side of the road, and the millionaire immediately stopped the car.

Why do you eat grass? “

We just don't have the money. A beggar replied.

Really, get in the car and go to my house. “

I also have a wife and two children at home. A beggar muttered.

Called them 1 and the rich man pointed to another beggar. "And you, call your family members too. "My family has a large family, and in addition to my wife, I have five children. Another beggar said.

It's okay, it's all called, go to 1

In this way, the two beggars and their families got into the car, fortunately, it was a lengthened car. On the way, a beggar's wife said gratefully: "Boss, you are so nice, you can invite a poor person like us to your home." “

The millionaire replied, "It's nothing, I just came back from abroad, and the house has been unattended, and there may be a lawn in the yard."

It's more than a meter high, and you can eat enough.

A classmate asked me, "The king is always lucky!.""How to translate, I said without thinking

Kings are always lucky! He shook his head and said three words: "Wang Laoji!"

--I couldn't get on my knees for a long time...

said that a couple wanted to be martyred, but the money on the two people together was only enough to buy a bottle of pesticides, and a bottle of pesticides could only poison one person, but in the end, both of them died, and they were both poisoned by pesticides, guess why?

Look at this.

Bao laughs at you. I laughed to death 3 times)

There was a foreigner who learned a Chinese sentence: "What is this?" "I came to China in a hurry.

On the first day, he came to a ketchup shop. There were blood donation stations on the roadside in foreign countries, and he thought they were blood donation stations. Just ask:

What is it? "It's ketchup. "Boss.

He thought to himself: "Oh, it turns out that the Chinese call blood ketchup." ”

The next day, he came to the parking lot. He pointed to the car and asked passers-by, "What is this?"

It's a lollipop. "Because there was a drawing on the car, and the drawing was in the shape of a lollipop, and he pointed to the lollipop and asked, so passers-by did that. "Oh, it turns out that the Chinese call cars lollipops.

On the third day, he came to the river. He saw a couple arguing. The man scolds the female tigress, and the woman scolds the man's big bad wolf. He thought to himself: "It turns out that the Chinese call men big bad wolves and women tigresses." ”

On the fourth day, he witnessed a car accident. He called the police and said, "A big bad wolf, riding a lollipop, hit and killed a tigress, leaving a lot of ketchup." ”

I'm going to make my way to oh, I still have a lot of jokes.

How? Dial your mobile phone and prompt: You are calling a small lazy pig from other places, please add the pigsty area code before the number you are calling. I couldn't believe it, I dialed it again, and it was prompted: the owner had been slaughtered.

Once upon a time there was a boy who died one day.

End of story.

A husband and wife divorced, and the woman: The child will belong to me, because I gave birth to it. The man was furious and said:, does all the money from the ATM go to the bank? Of course, whoever inserts the card belongs to whom! Haha, a little yellow little joke.

My wife cooked the cat meal, put it on the table and went to work. I'm a night spot, late and early home. When I entered the door, I saw rice on the table, and the small fish in it were fried fragrantly.

My wife really hurts! I lifted the rice and finished it beautifully, it was so delicious! I just feel that the rice is a little less, and the fish is a little smaller!

Closed on Sundays. The wife hugged the cat and said, "Husband, have you noticed that our cat is getting thinner and thinner?" ”

This story has a terrible beginning, a ridiculous middle, and a tragic ending, and once upon a time a ghost farted and died.

A toothpick was walking on the road, and suddenly a hedgehog came, and then the toothpick said to the hedgehog: "Stop, stop, I want to take the bus".

Or is it either:

The hedgehog saw the toothpick and said weakly: Dude, get in the car.

The deaf man hears the dumb man say, and the blind man sees a ghost.

Let's do it. Let's be funny

The ant is lying lazily in the dirt, stretching out one leg, and my friend asks you what you are doing? Ant: Later, the elephant will come, and I will trip him.