The more jokes about Internet cafes, the better

Why do you want to divorce your wife? ”

Because she has to go to the bar every night. ”

She is an alcoholic. Is it? ”

No, she always came to the bar and pestered me home. ”

a) Suddenly idle: mm, let's go online dating!

Cherry Maruko: But my age isn't right for you!

Suddenly idle: It's okay, I can wait for you to grow up.

Cherry Maruko: But I can't wait for you to grow up. I'm 68 years old.

Suddenly idle: 68 years old still called"Cherry balls"！Pretend to be innocent!

2) Suddenly idle: mm, let's go online dating!

Sapphire: Are you a member of the party?

Suddenly idle: No, but does it matter?

Sapphire: Are you a member of the group?

Suddenly idle: Not really. Does this have anything to do with online dating?

Sapphire: Are you a Young Pioneer?

Suddenly idle: It wasn't many years ago, what are you asking for?!

Sapphire: It's a pity that you are neither a party member, nor a member of the league, nor a member of the Young Pioneers, so how can you be worthy of me? I'm the leader of our class!

3) Suddenly idle: mm, let's go online dating!

Little Girl: Okay, but first I have to get my dad to agree.

Suddenly idle: Ah! You still have to agree to this! What about your dad?

Little Girl: He's typing for me right now. I'm only four and a half years old, and I don't know how to type yet.

Little Girl: Why don't you speak?

Suddenly idle: Hello uncle!

4) Suddenly idle: mm, let's go online dating!

Cuihua: Oh my God! I'm finally in love.

Suddenly idle: You haven't been in a relationship yet?

Suddenly idle: Are you really a dinosaur?!

Cuihua: I don't think I'm not, but I'm actually good-looking. But 47 out of 48 people in my class voted for me to be a dinosaur.

Suddenly idle: We broke up. Right now.

Cuihua: 5555555 I won't do it.

Suddenly idle: Go back to your Jurassic and cry.

5) Suddenly idle: mm, let's go online dating!

Matchmaker: Pay a registration fee of 100 yuan first.

Suddenly free: Do you still have to pay the registration fee?

Matchmaker: This is a marriage agency. Business is not doing well these days, so I have to look for development on the Internet.

Dumb has a problem, as soon as he sits down, his legs always move involuntarily, even more so in an unfamiliar environment.

On that day, in the elective class, the students of several classes gathered in a large classroom, and sitting next to Dumb was a beautiful girl from the outer class.

After taking class for a while, Dumb suddenly found that every time the girl finished taking notes, she had to sneak a glance at him.

Dumb's heart began to beat faster, but he still pretended to be very focused on the blackboard, and only used the peripheral vision of his eyes to secretly watch her reaction. The girl turned her head to look at her more and more often, and finally, she simply put down her pen and stared at him all the time.

Dumb felt that his face was a little hot, and his heart was full of happiness.

At this time, I suddenly heard her whispering:"Please, don't shake your legs, okay? The table shook and I couldn't take notes! "

1.pinched the neck of a big rooster but didn't dare to cut it, hesitated for a long time, and the chicken was strangled to death by me.

One day, I bathed my 3-year-old daughter, and as soon as I put my daughter in the basin, my daughter shouted: "Mommy, look, Dad is picking up girls." ”

2.Once upon a time, there were two puppies, one was called Gou Xiaofu, the other was called Gou Xiaogui, one day, they looked at each other, and they died, why, because the dog (Gou) is rich, don't forget each other

3.When I just graduated: Brothers, there will be a period later! One year after graduation: Brothers, there will be a wife in the future! Later: Brothers, regret having a wife! And later: brothers, there will be a stepwife! And finally: brothers, have a wife after repentance!

Internet café, there is one.

Ten. A two- or three-year-old child was playing World of Warcraft when he suddenly shouted, "Dad, someone hit me!" "All of us present were surprised, and thought to ourselves, there are also people in Warcraft who recognize Dad?

At this moment, a middle-aged man's voice came from the other end of the Internet café: "Son, where is it?" I got it!! "Everyone in the Internet café was dizzy.

A few minutes later, the middle-aged man called: "Son, we can't beat them, they are equipped, run!" "The crowd went crazy.

After a while, a middle-aged woman entered the Internet café, looked around, and then walked straight to the boy, picked up the boy's ear and scolded: "Didn't you go to the teacher's house to make up for the lesson?" The boy held his ears with one hand and pointed to the other side of the Internet café and exhaled

Daddy is too! His mother was amazed, and looked, and sure enough! Immediately asked:

Didn't you go overtime? Everyone in the Internet café fainted to death n times!

His father defended: Double the experience today.

His mother was overjoyed and said angrily: Fortunately, my mother asked for leave to come and have a look, otherwise your father and son would have surpassed me at night, and you wouldn't have sent me a text message to notify me of double experience? Go back at night and have you a good look!

Who's that? Oh, son, don't be afraid, Mom is here, Mom is opening a tuba to support you. Mom doesn't believe that our mother and son can't die!

The onlookers all sighed: If there is a wife like this, the husband will be helpless; If there is a mother like this, what more can the son ask for? Admire! I really admire!

Overnight at an internet café. I'm playing on Battle.net. I t-attacked the trail alone, squatted at the turn for 2 minutes, no CT appeared, and there were no steps, so I slowly probed forward, and suddenly two CTs jumped out with AK, I was scared and trembled, my hand hit the drink bottle next to me with the mouse, turned over, kicked off the wire plug, this row of machines were powered off, my stool made a boom, and the whole Internet café stood up and looked at me.