What should I do if my child doesn t have an opinion?

Gold Course for Qualified Parents.

Parents do not give their children self-confidence, they must establish their children's self-confidence, parents communicate with their children more, give their children a sense of security, and slowly build up their self-confidence.

It should be caused by the child's lack of self-confidence, and he is not confident in himself, so he is not sure whether his ideas and opinions are correct, and over time he is used to relying on others.

Because you make more decisions for your child, and often yell at him, deny his ideas, change yourself, let him make more decisions, and give affirmation.

Being assertive is a person who is judgmental, bold and bold in doing things. The opposite of this is hesitation, and it is difficult to make a choice when it is time to make it, especially when it comes to life choices.

I am such a person, sometimes I have to hesitate for a long time when buying clothes, let alone encounter a crossroads in my life.

But I want to give myself a chance to change, I tell myself that this is Chundan doing internal friction, how to change the status quo of doing wandering. I have always believed that these qualities, assertiveness, strength, self-confidence, etc., can be cultivated with laughter, just like the muscles of the body, the more you train, the more powerful you are, so I have been looking for various ways to exercise my opinions, use myself as a guinea pig, do an experiment, and prove my ideas.

Here's what I've been reminding myself of.

1. Gain extensive knowledge and understand the consequences of different choices. Be open-minded and don't easily veto opinions that are different from your own. Think from multiple perspectives.

2. Start from your own reality, analyze your own advantages and disadvantages, after all, it is best to suit yourself.

3. Establish a sense of responsibility, realize that your life is your own, the path you choose, be responsible for yourself, know your own purpose, and the position you want to reach at every step. When you try to do it, that's when you make the right choice, and that's when you make the right choice.

There is a book that says, "Not making mistakes is the same as not learning." When we are parents, when we see our children making mistakes, we immediately burst into a rage, and our bad mood repels our children step by step to the point of being unbearable. The so-called kicking cat effect is like a parent's inability to tolerate a child's mistakes, and then the bad mood affects a series of chain reactions, and finally leads to the child's increasing insecurity in the tense parent-child relationship.

In particular, there is no fundamental reason for learning, and children have no direction for learning, so parents can only be anxious. In "The Pattern of Learning", it is said that Professor Kapoor's research has achieved ineffective successes and effective failures. Effective failure means that parents must be able to tolerate their children's mistakes in order to let their children benefit from their mistakes.

Many parents see the report card, see the results, do not analyze, directly scold their heads and faces, and will still be like this next time after scolding. Parents are impatient, more often parents don't know that their children are wrong? Most parents said, I don't understand, I can't read.

It doesn't matter if you don't know this, you can learn it, have you ever flipped through your child's book? Help the child sort out the knowledge points, see which are the children's vague and weak points, and then make a plan how to make up for it, and how many days later can it be achieved? Accompany the child to stay up the most difficult night, do the most difficult problem, really go into the child's heart, understand and give support, guide the child to find problems in mistakes, and find ways to solve them.

In family education, as parents, we always feel that our children are still young, always persuade and educate our children from the front, and always hope to give our children more "help". However, it is more contrary to expectations, the more we convince the child to "help", the later the child will learn to walk, as long as the child is given more opportunities to try on his own, let the child explore by himself, to trial and error, in the mistakes will grow better.

It is said that a four-year-old girl, she is going to kindergarten class, on the first day of school, the little girl gets dressed and comes out, and her father immediately wants to say: "Wow, you go back and change your clothes, how are you dressed in a mess!" It turned out that she wore not only trousers but also a skirt, and the sleeves of the inner garment were longer than the coat.

At this time, my mother took the opportunity to say to her, "Have I ever taught you how to dress? The little girl nodded, and her mother said again

So how are you dressed like this today? After such communication, the little girl listened. This mother is willing to let her daughter make a mistake, indirectly telling her child what is wrong and what is right.

Of course, letting children try on their own does not mean that parents can just be "hands-off" and ignore their children - this is going from one extreme to the other. The same is true for the way children try it.

As parents, we should know when and what things can let our children try, and when, under what circumstances, and in what way to help our children support, which is also worth thinking about and exploring every day. And trial and error, when the consequences are controllable, do get twice the result with half the effort.

Not good, easy to be deceived. The importance of assertiveness:

1. At a critical time, you can take ideas and stand up in disguise, but you are never reckless;

2. You can soften when you should be soft in front of your lover, and don't be confused when you should be hard;

3. Being assertive doesn't mean you have to carry it yourself at all times, and you don't have to behave like a big man all the time, which would be too macho;

4. Being assertive does not mean that you have to be very successful, but that you can have your own ideas and opinions when facing problems, but you never listen to the suggestions of others.