Is there a good joke that is the kind that can be told in front of everybody, that stirs up the atmo

Once upon a time there was a river, and there was a fish in the river.

A man went to the bird market and saw a bird of 30 and a bird of 50 He turned around and found a stall selling yellow finches The cage was open This person went up and asked how much the bird cost The bird seller said 500 The insider asked why it was so expensive The bird seller said that it was a good bird Familiar It didn't fly away with the cage door open, so he paid for it and bought it I didn't fly away all the way home with the bird cage I was very happy to get home and his daughter-in-law looked at it and said angrily: It's not flying! You're buying a chick!

There was a classmate who was short-sighted, and his classmates liked to joke with him, and shouted at him as soon as they met: "Blind! Blind!

One day, a friend of his went to visit the house and forgot to wear his glasses. When he came home in the evening, he had to borrow a lantern from a friend's house. That night, there was a bright moon hanging in the sky, and he made it all the way home.

The second time, a group of friends came to his house, and he immediately boasted, "Humph! You always call me blind, but my eyes are wonderful.

Last night, I only borrowed a small lantern from a friend's house and came back without a hitch. At this time, a neighbor's child brought him a letter that read: "My dear friend, you took the cage containing the bird for a lantern last night, please return it quickly." ”

Let's talk about two celebrities:

1. I heard the teacher say that Mr. Lu Xun was the representative of asking for wages when he was a teacher, and every time the salary should be paid, Mr. Lu Xun was the first to rush up to ask for it;

Hai Ying was only two or three years old at that time. Lu Xun was sometimes worried about the country and the people, so he lay on the veranda, and then Haiying stumbled over and lay quietly next to him.

One day, Hai Ying asked: Can Dad eat it?

Lu Xun replied: It stands to reason that it is okay, but there is only one father, and if you eat it, it will be gone, so don't eat it.

2. Hu Shi's diary.

July 4th. I opened this diary in order to urge myself to do more hard work next semester. First, you have to finish reading Shakespeare's "Henry VIII" at hand.

July 13th.

Play cards. July 14th.

Play cards. July 15th.

Play cards. July 16th.

Hu Shizhi, Hu Shizhi! How can you be so depraved! Have you forgotten all the study plans you have made before? Zi said: "I have three provinces in my day." "It can't go on like this!

July 17th.

Play cards. Cards were played on July 18.

The child asked, "Mom, why do they call you a shrew?" ”

The mother replied, "That's a compliment to my mother for being a lively woman!" ”

A person walked into the small restaurant, asked for a glass of wine, just tasted it, and immediately paused:"What, isn't this a glass of boiled water? “

Yo! The shopkeeper was also taken aback, "Oops, I forgot to mix the wine!" “

Xiao Ming's family has a luxurious villa, behind which there is a delicate little garden, in the garden there is a pool of rippling blue ponds, and there is a warning sign next to the pond that reads: "Danger! The water depth is one meter forty-nine".

What Xiao Ming is best at: a rampage comic b calligraphy c copying.

、Yesterday I dreamed that God said that I could fulfill a wish of mine, I took out the globe and said that I wanted world peace, he said it was too difficult to change it, I took out your ** and said that I want this person to be beautiful, he pondered for a while and said take a look at the globe and I'll take a look at it.

2. A woman is ugly, can't get married, and hopes to be trafficked. finally made his dream come true, but he couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent it back, she resolutely did not get out of the car, and the kidnappers gritted their teeth and stomped their feet: go, the car is gone.

Years ago, Dad hugged you and waited for the car, and everyone laughed at the child's ugly looks, and Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brother, don't cry, take a banana and give it to the monkey to eat!" It's pitiful, the hungry are hairless. ”

4. On the plane, a parrot said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", and the pig also learned from the parrot and said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", the flight attendant was furious and threw the parrot and the pig off the plane. Then the parrot said to the pig, "Be stupid, you can fly." ”

5. There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by, pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, and the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Rely on your mother!" I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The raven said, "Damn! You're and wearing pants! ”

An old man's dog died, and the old man packed the dead dog and prepared to take it back to his hometown for burial. But when I checked it in, the people at the airport didn't know that it was dead, and when I got off the plane, I found out that it was dead and was terrified. Thought the dog was dead.

So I sent someone to a nearby dog market to buy an identical one. Later, the old man opened his luggage and found that the dog was alive. So the old man was scared to death.

A, B and C traveled together, and A caught a cold ......

At night, everyone sleeps in the same bed, and A sleeps in the middle.

In the middle of the night....A snorted a big sneeze, and B C's entire face was full of A's crystals.

B C: I'll let us know ...... next time

Half an hour later, A: Attention...

Hearing this, B C hurriedly got into the quilt and made sure that there was no communication with the outside world...

As a result, A farts.

A, B and C traveled together, and A caught a cold ......

At night, everyone sleeps in the same bed, and A sleeps in the middle.

In the middle of the night....A snorted a big sneeze, and B C's entire face was full of A's crystals.

B C: I'll let us know ...... next time

Half an hour later, A: Attention...

Hearing this, B C hurriedly got into the quilt and made sure that there was no communication with the outside world...

As a result, A farts.

Q: "What is your impression of Korea?" ”

Answer: "A beautiful girl who nibbles on spicy cabbage meets a fragile people who will get leukemia and die of leukemia if they eat a few meals of pork belly. ”

Once upon a time there was a hide-and-seek society, and their leader has not yet been found.

In the evening, the wife beat **, and the husband said angrily: Hello! It's a part-and-go service**.

Press 1 to admit mistakes; Press 2 for divorce; If you want to hit someone, this desk will transfer you to 110. The wife was so angry that she hung up**. Late at night, the husband came home and found that the door was locked, and hit his wife's mobile phone, and the wife said in a false voice:

Hello! This is who is afraid of who serves**, if you want to go home, please kneel on the washboard on your knees; If you want to get a divorce, please kneel on your knees and nail board; If you feel unwell, this desk will transfer you to 120.