Does anyone have a funny text message about pigs?

A group of animals crosses the river, and when the boat in the middle of the river begins to enter the water, a part of it must be launched.

The clever monkey came up with the idea of having everyone tell a joke, and if the joke didn't make everyone laugh, he threw the teller into the water.

So the lottery began, and the result was the first to talk from the cat, then the monkey, the chicken...

The cat tried to tell a joke, and everyone laughed, except the pig. The animals had no choice but to throw the cat into the water.

The monkey's joke made people laugh even more, but the pig still didn't laugh, and the monkey had to feed the fish.

The chickens are scared, and even the clever monkeys can't escape the fate...

The pig laughed at this time, and the animal monsters said: The chicken hasn't talked yet, what are you laughing at?

The pig said: The cat's joke is so funny...

2. That day I said, "You are a pig." You say, "I'm a pig." "So I'll call you "Pig Weird" from now on!Finally, one day, you couldn't bear to shout in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!" ”

3. When you travel to Xishuangbanna, you encounter a group of wild boars besieging you on the way, and the tourists take out food and money, but the wild boars are unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the pigs knelt down and cried bitterly: Big brother, we have found you!

4. A bird and a pig are on the plane, the bird says to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water", and the pig also says, "Give me a glass of water". After a while, the bird said, "Bring me something to eat," and the pig did the same. The stewardess was upset and threw them down, and then the bird said to the pig, "It's stupid, you can fly."

5. The intermittent rain caused me infinite thoughts, to put it bluntly, I miss you, and when the wind and sun are beautiful, I will take you to the meadow, but it is agreed in advance: pigs are allowed to eat grass, and they are not allowed to arch the ground!

6. It's really cold in the past two days, you must take care of yourself, don't freeze--- as the saying goes, "people freeze their legs, pigs freeze their mouths". I've got all my wool pants on, so you should buy a mask.

7. In the office.

Everyone: Hurry up! What's the question?

A: Which of the following animals is your favorite and why? A rabbit.

B squirrel C dog.

D pig B (To) quickly replied: D.

A said, "Yes, that's right."

The rest of the people hurriedly asked: Why?

8、.A portrayal of your life: learn to bathe yourself at the age of ten, and the pig cleans itself; Twenty-year-old radiant pig Shimao; Finding a job at the age of thirty pig establishment; At the age of forty, he hired a servant, and the pig got a servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of 50 Pig Throwing!

9. You stand on the lotus leaf and dance lightly, and passers-by shout before fainting: "Pig standing leaves".

A female colleague scolded a male colleague: "You are a pig!" ”

The male colleague was angry and retorted: "It's strange that I'm a pig!" ”

So, these days, the tone of the female colleague is very strange.

Pigs are weird, go to a meeting! ”

Pigs are weird, what about going to the toilet? ”

Pigs are weird, what do you eat at noon? ”

The male colleague couldn't bear it anymore and yelled at the female colleague: "I'm not a pig!" ”

A young man will be drafted into the army, and he will be examined by an ophthalmologist at a military hospital.

Chabian confessed that he was short-sighted. After the examination, the doctor said, "Yes, you are right, it is close."

Eyesight. The young man was very happy to hear this. "Dear Doctor, then I can be exempted from military service.

Finish? The doctor shook his head and said, "No." I wrote that I could participate in hand-to-hand combat. ”

One day, when Shao Genjin went to the banquet, he saw a roast suckling pig and put it in front of him, so he said, "It's good, I'm sitting next to the suckling pig." As soon as the words came out, I found a fat lady next to me glaring at each other, and hurriedly laughed: "I'm sorry, I mean that one is burned."

I've always had a soft spot for you, and your face appears in front of me all the time! I can't forget you, but I'm too poor to hope, and finally I'm rich! You can say loudly: "Boss, cut the pig's head in half for me!" ”

A drop of water is small in the ocean and great in the desert; The red-crowned crane is small in the flock of cranes, but great in the flock of chickens; You are small in the crowd and great in the pigsty!

My dear, I'm starting to miss you again, and my love for you is growing huge every day, because someone told me: the price of pork has risen, you can sell it for a good price!

1.One day, many people gathered around the road. Xiao Gang likes to watch the excitement, but he can't squeeze in.

He stood at the back of the crowd and shouted, "Get out of the way, it's my brother inside." However, when Xiao Gang looked inside, it turned out to be a dead pig.

2.Piggy: Mom, people are so capable, why do they serve us?

Mother Pig: This is the wisdom of man, although we have no worries about food and clothing, but we are at the cost of our lives, and human beings serve us to eat our meat. Give first, take later, be a grandson first, then be a grandfather, this is what human beings are best at.

A lot of animals ride together in the boat, and they think it's boring, so they say that they take turns telling jokes, and whoever doesn't have a funny joke will throw them into the water, and the monkey is the first, and all the animals laugh when they finish speaking, but the pig doesn't, and it is thrown into the water. The second was the rooster, and everyone laughed even harder, but when they saw it, the pig still didn't laugh, so the rooster was thrown into the river. The donkey was the third, and everyone didn't laugh after it finished speaking, and the pig suddenly laughed, and everyone asked, the donkey's joke ** is funny?

The pig said, "The joke told by the monkey is so funny." ”

The amount of the dialect version.

The swan said to the leper treasure; You still want to chase me like that, and you don't pee and look in the mirror. Leper Bao said; What do I look like this, it's better than a pig. The pig heard and said; Crawl, I'm annoying you when I'm reading text messages.

As the saying goes: people freeze their legs, pigs freeze their mouths, I've put on my woolen pants, you should buy a mask too!

One day bai

I said to a friend, "You're a pig. du", he said: "I am a pig, only to be a monster." From now on, I will call him a pig, and he can't help it anymore when he has the right to say, "I'm not a pig!" ”

2.A man raised a pig, so he wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home, and threw it many times without success.

One day, the man drove the pig again.

That night, he called ** to his wife and asked, "Is the pig back?" ”

His wife said, "I'm back." ”

The man was very angry and yelled: "Let it pick up the **, I'm lost." ”

Everyone: Hurry up! What's the question?

A: Which of the following animals is your favorite and why? A rabbit, B squirrel, C dog.

D pig B (To) quickly replied: D.

A said, "Yes, that's right."

The rest of the people hurriedly asked: Why?

The husband and wife had a fight, and when they came home, the wife was blushing. The husband went to tease the cat with fun. The wife yelled:

What are you doing with that pig? The husband was amazed and said, "This is a cat, not a pig."

The wife took it again: "I talk to the cat, what do you want you to interject?" ”

On the plane, there was a pig and a parrot, and the parrot said to the flight attendant, "Pour tea for you." The pig also learned from the parrot and said, "Pour tea for you." This is the parrot saying: "Dumbfounded, brother will be gray."

Hahahahaha

Are you a pig? Yes, he's a pig. Roar, roar, roar.

There was a farmer who had n piglets, and one day a merchant came to buy his pigs, and the pigs were all gone. Answer: Pigs are listening to my story! ~