I want jokes, there is no 40

There were three people who went to the gods to ask for the elixir of immortality. The gods told them that no one was looking for 10 fruits.

The first man found ten peaches, and the gods asked him to eat them all in one go, otherwise he would die, and he didn't finish them.

The second man found 10 strawberries, but when he ate the 7th, he suddenly laughed and died.

When they got underground, the first asked the second.

Because I see.

3 people held 10

A watermelon back!

The Chinese teacher reads aloud as follows, and one student dictates as follows.

Wo Chun" I'm stupid".

Dark plum and smell flowers, I have no culture.

Lying on the branch is sad and hateful, my IQ is very low, I am lying like water in the distance, I want to ask who I am, it is easy to see through the spring green.

A big stupid donkey.

The shore is green, I am a donkey, the shore is green, I am a donkey, the shore is green.

I'm a stupid donkey.

A scientist went to Antarctica and came across a colony of penguins. He asked one of them, "What do you do every day?"

The penguin said, "Eat and sleep and beat Beanie." He asked another:

What do you do every day? The penguin also said, "Eat and sleep and beat beans."

Later, he met a little penguin, very cute, and asked him, "Little friend, what do you do every day?" The little penguin said, "Eat and sleep." The scientist was stunned for a moment, and then asked, "Why don't you beat Doudou?" ”

The little penguin said, "Because I'm Beanie." ”

Household appliances held a joke telling contest, stipulating that every appliance should tell a joke, and made every audience laugh at the scene, otherwise they would be sent to a scrap processing plant.

The first to play was the washing machine, and as soon as he finished the joke, the audience laughed, and suddenly heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold." "So the washing machine was taken to the scrap factory.

Next up was the smartest computer, and as soon as he finished his joke, all the appliances laughed, and he heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold." "So, the computers were also taken to the scrap factory.

Just as the lamp was about to be taken to the scrap factory, the rice cooker stood up angrily, turned his head to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said, "I've had enough, you can laugh, don't open your mouth so wide, it's so cold!" ”

Yesterday I went to eat KFC, and the people behind me were like a couple, and they ordered a lot of food and sat next to me. As soon as he sat down, the girl began to eat as if she had been hungry for days, while the boy nibbled on the fries one by one, as if something was on his mind.

Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, leaned forward, and asked very seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" The girl didn't raise her head, but said directly: "No! “

The boy asked, "Is it possible at all?" “

The girl said dryly: "Probably not at all!" “

The boy froze, staring straight at her, and stayed there....

At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, and felt that the boy was watching her, so she paused to eat, then looked at the boy with pitiful eyes and whispered, "That's ......."Can I still eat it? “

Everyone next to me, including me, laughed out loud, and the boy was very helpless, and hurriedly said, "Eat, eat...""This mm is so cute. If I don't let me chase it, I must chase it. Desperate Pursuit!!

In biology class, the teacher was introducing the appearance of the African wild boar, and when she saw many of her classmates dozing off, she exclaimed, "If you don't look at me, do you really know what the African wild boar looks like?"

A certain life likes to play tricks on others. One day, he said to his roommate, "Good news and bad news for you." The roommate said, "Let's talk about the good news first." ”

He said: "The good news is that your girlfriend just called ** to find you." ”

The bad news? ”

I'm lying to you. ”

Another day, he said to his roommate, "I'll tell you a good news and a bad news. ”

Fearing that he would be deceived again, his roommate said, "Bad news first." ”

He said solemnly, "I saw your girlfriend go to the movies with another boy." ”

And the good news? ”

I lied to you again. ”

A brother went to the toilet, but he mistakenly entered the women's toilet, and after entering, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong, but fortunately there was no in the women's toilet.

Someone. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When he was opening the door, he met a mm coming in, and the mm took a look at him, his face was red, his head was lowered, and he turned around and went to the men's toilet.

Very boring jokes, but they can be mentally relaxed, because they are mindless to understand, lighthearted, but have a long aftertaste.

Definition 4: ...Laugh. Bad jokes don't mean they're not funny, they're also a sign of humor. Sometimes a bad joke is one of the jokes.

Definition 5: Bad joke (in incense.

There was a person, he wanted to talk, so he caught up with the person in front of him, there was a person, he wanted to walk, so he kept walking, walking, the person who wanted to talk patted the person in front of him who wanted to walk, and the person who kept walking turned around, but he didn't stop, he kept rolling and rolling, so the person who wanted to talk became mute, and the person who wanted to walk kept rolling and rolling.

A woman took a fake banknote to buy breakfast, and the vendor was annoyed: "Sister, forget it if you give the fake banknote, at least it is printed, and your banknote is actually painted!" Take 10,000 steps back and say, forget about the painting, you can draw a ten-piece or a five-piece one, and you can also draw a seven-piece one!

Seven pieces are seven pieces, at least you have to draw in color, you actually use a pencil, forget it, black and white is black and white, but you can't draw it with hand paper! The feel is too bad, even if it's hand paper, you have to use scissors to cut the edges, this is torn by hand, the raw edge is too exaggerated, okay, I put up with the raw edge, but you also tear a rectangular shape, this triangle is too much to say,......

After class, Xiao Ming's homework had not been done, so the teacher asked him, "Why didn't you do your homework?" Xiao Ming said

There was a power outage at home last night", and the teacher asked again, "So what were you doing last night?" "Xiao Ming:

Watching TV" Teacher: "Isn't there a power outage?" Xiao Ming panicked and said to the teacher

I'll see it with a candle! ”

A friend said that a few days ago, I had a class reunion and played a game, and one person said that I hadn't done xx things, and if others did, I should consciously drink. One of the girls who came on the field first said, "I haven't flown before." The five boys at the table immediately silently picked up the wine glasses on the table.

In unison, they said, "This is so ruthless!" ”

The patients in the intensive care unit of the hospital always die around 11 o'clock on Sundays, which puzzled the doctors and even thought it was a paranormal event, so they set up a team of experts to investigate the cause of the incident. On Sunday, the clock had just struck eleven o'clock, and it was found through the monitor that the cleaner who was cleaning on Sunday walked into the intensive care unit, unplugged the life support system of the seriously ill number, and Changsen then plugged in the vacuum cleaner and began to clean...

My friend has a pendant on his phone, Violent Bear. To be blind is the kind that can break off all four limbs. He's missing an arm. I asked Junkong why he was missing an arm. He was very calm and expressionless and said to me: He is in the hall.