What if I don t want to live with my in laws after marriage, but my husband doesn t agree?

I can only save some money by myself, of course, this money is not known to others except you, whether you want to buy a house and live alone or divorce and go home, it is really unrealistic for women to have children and pin their hopes on men.

There is nothing in this world that I want to possess, I know that there is no one worthy of my envy, any misfortune that I have suffered, I have forgotten, and it does not make me embarrassed to think that I am now one man, and there is no pain in me, and I straighten up, and I see the blue sea and the shadow of the sails.

In fact, things are relative, to enjoy the benefits brought by the in-laws will naturally be controlled by the in-laws, I think you live with the in-laws will be sure that the in-laws will help you watch the children on weekdays, clean up the house, cook these things, definitely not do nothing and wait for you to serve, the son is their own grandchildren are also blood-related, only you are an outsider to the in-laws, they are willing to serve the children and grandchildren will naturally have a complaint for you, so from this aspect, your in-laws at most are not going to do things, It's not as bad as it gets. As long as we live separately, these contradictions are easy to resolve.

When a woman is in love, she can be weak, she can be emotional, and she can cry when she is wronged. But in marriage, you are already the mistress of a family and the mother of children. You should use your brain to analyze and deal with things rationally, and don't cry to your husband. I've always felt that in family relationships.

The way women do things plays a key role. After marriage, your weakness can be used in your hands without lifting heavy objects, not in getting along with your in-laws and husband. If your husband can protect you and let you rely on nature, it's good, if not, then you have to make yourself the head of the family.

If you are not strong in your heart, it is useless to have money. If you are not emotionally independent, your thoughts will not change, and even if you live separately, you will not be satisfied. Since your husband can't be trusted, don't think about what your husband will do for you, think about how you can make him listen to you.

I hope you can become a strong, strong woman at heart.

Personally, I think you should live with your in-laws, respect your husband's desire to take care of your parents, and then think about how to coordinate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after living with your in-laws, your husband does this to facilitate the care of the elderly, is a filial man, and then communicate with your husband about how to solve the conflict in the future, respect the wishes of the elderly, and take into account your ideas, as long as your husband loves you enough, he will coordinate well in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

If you divorce quickly, you will be very painful in the future in such a marriage, so you must stop the loss in time, and the long pain is better than the short pain.

I think that if the husband disagrees, we must be brave to express and insist on our own attitude, because married life is a matter for both husband and wife, and we cannot wronged the other party because of one party.

There is no need to listen to your husband's opinion, you can use your own actions to show your position, you don't want to live with your in-laws, you must have your own reasons, you can make these reasons clear to your husband.

Let's discuss it with my husband, if my husband doesn't agree and you still insist on your own point of view, then you can't live together, and I don't think it's appropriate to live together.

You should tell him about the disadvantages of living with his in-laws and the advantages of living with his own life, tell him that living with his in-laws for a long time will be prone to conflicts, and if there is a conflict, you should ask him how to deal with it.

This kind of situation is very common in married life, you can communicate well with your husband, promise that your husband will definitely come back often, and you will definitely honor your parents and make your husband feel at ease. In fact, not living with in-laws is also a way to reduce family conflicts.

At this time, you must be resolute, and you must also make it clear to your husband what kind of problems will there be if you live together, so that your husband can understand.

If you really don't want to live with your parents-in-law, you should communicate with your husband, or have a reasonable negotiation with your husband when he is calm, and eventually your husband will agree.

Summary. First of all, do the communication husband move out.

I don't want to live with my in-laws, but my husband doesn't want to, what should I do?

First of all, do the communication husband move out.

My husband firmly disagreed.

Tell your husband that it is not called filial piety if you don't live with your in-laws, and you can't be too selfish and only think about your own feelings. You tell him that you were depressed when you lived with his family, and that you tried hard, but if it didn't work, it didn't work. People can't wronged themselves to fulfill others If he can't say it, he can't do it, you ask him, then why doesn't he live with his father-in-law and mother-in-law?

According to his logic, wouldn't it be filial if you don't live together? Then you can't just be filial to his parents!! Then four old people live together!!

Look what he has to say. If he is still stubborn, tell him that his filial piety is his freedom and that he can move there. You live by yourself with your children, why are you suffering from their?

He must have a conscience and look at the child if he is willing to do it. You hold on to your thoughts. Sometimes they bully the weak and fear the hard, which is to test your bottom line.

You just hold on, and they won't push you. In the end, you have to make it clear, no matter how good his parents are, they can't accompany him for a lifetime, and it is you and his wife who accompany him and take care of him. Your small family is a new family, and his parents are the original family, so don't mix two independent individuals together.

Every family should have its own boundaries, and if he has to mix the two families together and make so many things, he has not solved it with that high emotional intelligence, so he will let his wife endure it, what kind of ability is it??? Ah, sacrifice you one to make his whole family happy?? Intimacy should be greater than any other relationship, he said.

My husband won't consider my feelings, I said I was going to move out alone, and he wouldn't pay attention to me.

So what's your reason for moving out?

It's just that my mother-in-law is in charge of a lot, and even my children's affairs have to be in charge, and then she is in charge of some things that some people don't agree with.

In this case, if your husband just doesn't agree to move out, you can move out alone with your children. Because now you haven't moved out. So your husband may only think you're making trouble.

Now that the child is only five months old, do I want to move out when I am one year old and then my husband ignored what I said.

So if I'm moving out, what should I tell my mother-in-law? If I help something, my mother-in-law will definitely ask me what I am doing with it.

You just tell your mother-in-law directly. There's no need to beat around the bush. You just say that you want to move out, and it's inconvenient to live together, so don't say too much else. Your mother-in-law will naturally go to your husband when the time comes.

My mother-in-law may say why do you want to do it separately from him, does he do anything to be sorry for me, and then she won't let me move out, and then she will ask my husband if he agrees, and he can't help without consent.

In this case, you can tell your mother-in-law directly that you find it inconvenient to live with them, and don't say the specifics. When you say this, your mother-in-law will naturally understand that it is because of her.

After many female friends get married, they are reluctant to live with their in-laws, which is a very common phenomenon, because young friends will still be restrained when they live with the elderly, so just tell their husbands directly, and analyze the reasons. <>

1. Mention it directly

The first thing I have to say is the issue of marriage, marriage is a major event in life, since female friends agree to marry male friends, it represents the recognition of female friends, in addition to the young friends' ideas are more advanced, and for the decoration of the family are also looking for some European style or some other styles, these styles are not only not understood by parents, but also for young friends to decorate will also express their opinions. The second is to tell your husband directly, or to say your own conditions before getting married, to help your husband analyze the pros and cons, although the parents live with themselves very well, but it will affect the love between the two children, and they will also pick thorns everywhere in life. <>

Second, the disadvantages of living together

In addition, it will aggravate the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if the father-in-law and mother-in-law want to live, it is not impossible, but it is not a long-term residence, after all, this is still the home of two young friends, so young friends will be more touched. In addition, female friends may be pampered by their parents at home, so most of them prefer to sleep lazy in the morning, but it is not good for the in-laws, because it is necessary to avoid suspicion, and at the same time, young couples who have just entered the marriage are particularly affectionate, so they may wish to have some intimate behavior at home. <>

III. Conclusion

In the end, I believe that my husband will also understand, because my husband also lives with his parents for a long time, so I want to have a small family of my own after getting married, so female friends don't feel embarrassed, just mention anything directly to your husband, if the husband's reaction is particularly intense, then such people can't become husband and wife.

You can take the initiative to tell your husband so that the other party has a clear understanding, and you should also tell the other party why you don't want to live with your parents-in-law, because there will be a lot of contradictions and drawbacks, and there will be quarrels.

You have to say it openly, because such a request is very reasonable, and you have to make your concerns clear to your husband, so that your husband will understand you.

I should tell my husband euphemistically that I live with my in-laws, my living habits are different, and I hope to have a private space for two people.

It is recommended that you don't go to the knot, because do you want to live with your in-laws, there are many realistic examples of living together There must be various contradictions, so at the same time, which side is your husband inclined to? If you were compromised, how long would you want to compromise? Because your attitude now means that you will always have this attitude in the future.

So choose carefully.

In the editor's opinion, this matter must need to be discussed again by both parties, and it cannot be simply said that the marriage will not be concluded because of this matter. But the editor agrees with the idea that you don't live with your in-laws after marriage, because living with your in-laws is indeed more likely to cause conflicts. If your in-laws and your boyfriend insist on living together after marriage, and you yourself can't accept it, then you can reconsider the relationship.

However, you must not give up a relationship easily without making any effort.

Your future mother-in-law has a big house at home, so that you can live with them after marriage, and you may also feel that you can take care of each other. However, the money for the new house is half of each of your parents, and the man's parents have no right to ask you not to live in the new house after marriage. You can talk to your husband about your considerations first, and on the premise of doing a good job of your husband's thoughts, the two of you can go to your parents-in-law and mother-in-law together to express your inner thoughts.

If it really doesn't make sense, then you can weigh the reality and make the decision that is best for you.

The editor and his wife have been married for about 3 years, and the current husband and wife are relatively happy. But at the beginning, I was also a headache because of the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. My wife and mother are both straight, and they don't do anything they say, and they won't do much to regress and tolerate anything.

I can only keep comforting and explaining on both sides, hoping that they can be in a state of "peace". However, everyone lives together, and even if many things between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are regulated, this harmonious relationship can only be maintained for a period of time and cannot last. Then I made up my mind that we would live separately, but we would go home every weekend to see my parents.

The effect of this is also surprisingly good, and they slowly became intimate in less than two months, perhaps because of "distance produces beauty". After that, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a baby, and the mother loved her daughter-in-law even more. Now every weekend, my mother prepares a lot of meals in advance, and they are all meals that my daughter-in-law and children like to eat.

Seeing the family sitting together and eating together in harmony will also give me a sense of relief and realize the correctness of the decision not to live with my parents after marriage. After all, the daughter-in-law did not grow up with her mother, and the contact between the two is relatively small, and there will definitely be a lot of discomfort when living together. So not living together is a good thing for them and for themselves.

So, in response to the question raised by this netizen,The author's advice is to negotiate first, and if the other party really insists on living together, then you weigh the pros and cons and make the best choice, or even choose to abandon the marriage.

It is really inconvenient to live with your in-laws, there will definitely be some inevitable small frictions, this needs you to discuss it with your husband, and make it clear to him, not living together does not mean that you are not filial, I also do not agree to live with your in-laws, after all, the way of life is too different, you have discussed, every once in a while to pick them up to live for a few days, and then within these 2 years, we will try to buy a smaller house for his old couple in a place closer to our home, so that it will be solved, I hope you and your husband have a good communication.

In fact, you can think about the problem from his point of view, it is very simple, for example, you live with his parents after marriage, but filial piety to your parents is a responsibility, I think since she can marry you, it should not be difficult to communicate, you can create opportunities for her and your parents to communicate frequently, his parents also want to be lively, so they want you to live in the past, they can enjoy the joy of family, so I hope you live in the past, but for a long time, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions. It's not okay to live together, but it's okay to live close so that both parties will be satisfied.