What to do if you are isolated by a colleague in the workplace

Don't be afraid when you see the move. Being isolated by a colleague requires an analysis of the causes.

First of all, let's see if it is acquiesced by the superior? If your boss is acquiescing, it means that either your boss doesn't like you, or your boss doesn't trust you and thinks you're not his person, or you may have offended your boss.

In this case, it is still necessary to respect the unspoken rules of the workplace, be able to have a good relationship with the boss, or try to repair the relationship with the boss. If it is really an irreversible relationship between superiors and subordinates, then there is no good way to either endure or roll. Sometimes, the boss is more mobile than the employee, and maybe you put up with it, and the boss resigns or is promoted.

If your boss is up to you, it's not a big problem, and your colleagues can only explain three things if you're isolated

One, you will be destroyed by the forest wind.

If this situation is because you are excellent and they isolate you, then don't be afraid, seize the opportunity to become their leader! If it involves a conflict of interests, you should be good at analyzing the pros and cons, and if it is beneficial to you, it is also a good way to obtain cooperation and moderate concessions.

If it is because of the third reason, it really requires you to self-reflect, actively repair the relationship with your colleagues, and reflect the spirit of cooperation, so that it is possible to change the status quo of being isolated by your colleagues.

Analyze the reasons first, there are many reasons for being isolated, such as this person is more introverted, such as this person has offended many people because of something.

We can't guess the real reason, so let's consider our own reasons first.

Ask yourself: Why are you isolated? Are you the only one isolated?

Because you offended your boss? Because you offended someone at the same level?

Because you did the wrong task assigned by the company? Because of the mistake in completing the work, the boss is unhappy?

Because of the gossip and slander of others? Because of an alliance with them? Because who did you collide with at work? Because whose cheese was moved?

It is also important to consider the relationship with your boss.

First, from the beginning of getting along, it is necessary to have a good relationship with the boss.

The second is to respect the unspoken rules of the workplace. As a middle and senior manager for many years, I tell you that most of the bosses suppress their subordinates because their subordinates do not have long eyes, do not follow the rules, are not convinced, do not obey the management, and even deliberately anger you and deliberately disobey you. Therefore, it is necessary to understand the basic rules of the workplace.

The third is to encounter an irreversible relationship between superiors and subordinates. Bear it or get out, there's no good way. At present, the boss is more mobile than the employee, maybe you put up with it, the boss will resign and leave.

If the boss will not leave, you have to endure the humiliation, grow silently, surpass him in the future, or even replace him, this is the counterattack road of many newcomers in the workplace. If you have been suppressed for a long time, unable to turn the situation around, and are about to become depressed, then, hurry up and find your next home.

It is better to change others than to change yourself.

In any case, we cannot change others, only ourselves.

Work more, do more, read more, and exercise more.

Loneliness in the workplace is an emotional experience of self-awareness of a crack in the interpersonal network.

By experience, we mean that it is temporary.

If you can't see the temporality of being alone, and feel that people snubbing you once or twice is a precursor to putting you into the "cold palace", it is easy to fall into the root of the disease in your heart, and you will habitually be single.

What we can do is to find out why we are isolated, and then find a solution, because in the workplace, everyone has their own difficulties.

1. As a newcomer in the workplace from the beginning of changing himself, he was excluded from the company as soon as he entered the company: one is that his personality is too weak and he always drags other colleagues back; The second is that he is too tough and does not deal with other colleagues, so he is isolated. Both of these conditions are caused by personality reasons.

The best way to improve the situation is to start by changing yourself. Those with weak personalities should start by learning to refuse; If you have a tough personality, you must learn to get along with others. 

2. Show less of your superiority, try to leave your superiority to colleagues and people with superior resources are the most likely to be isolated, in fact, from a large level, you show your superiority excessively, it becomes a show, you are like this to everyone, then everyone doesn't want to pay attention to you. The person who can really chat is that you say a little, I say a little, know how to let the other party talk a little more, let the other party show his superiority, and be a good listener, and give the other party the right to speak and superiority. People with high emotional intelligence will always care about the other person's feelings in communication, and do not damage the superiority of others as an independent individual.

3. The situation targeted by this trick in a timely manner is that the problem lies with colleagues. If the problem lies with you, you can still correct it, but if the problem is with your colleagues, it will be difficult to change. Therefore, it has become necessary to fight back in a timely manner, and you can't let yourself be isolated by the other party all the time and suffer from "cold violence" in the workplace.

Blindly tolerating will only make things more and more serious, and counterattacking is to be able to tell the other party their own principles, which is equivalent to warning the other party that if this continues, they will also use corresponding measures, and there will be no more situations where they can't fight back and scold and don't fight back. In the workplace, we may not be able to get the highest position like Mr. Huang Bo, but as long as you work hard and have a higher level, you will stay away from bad people. Slowly, your development will get better and better, your circle will become simpler and simpler, and your career path will become smoother and smoother.

First, do introspection.

We say that there must be a motive and reason behind any behavior, and if there is a situation where a colleague isolates himself, he might as well find the reason from himself first.

For example, did you do something wrong and inadvertently offended your colleagues? Or is his personality more direct, and his words sting others without knowing it?

Looking for the crux of the problem in oneself is not to be afraid of others, let alone to be self-defeating, but to start from the internal factors that are easier to cut into in order to solve the problem.

Otherwise, being isolated by colleagues and complaining and hysterical will only complicate the problem.

Being promoted to a supervisor like Xiao Zhou may be a good thing for oneself, but if it is too ostentatious, it will feel like showing off, which will lead to jealousy and exclusion from colleagues.

The "Window of Johari" tells us that everyone has a certain blind spot in their own behavior, and the advantage of introspection is to look at yourself again from the perspective of the past, and only by understanding yourself first can we deal with others more effectively.

2. Keep a big mind for people.

When we are isolated by our colleagues, it is easy for us to become hostile to each other, look at each other unpleasantly, and then form infighting.

On the surface, this approach is to take revenge on others, but in fact the gains outweigh the losses, and it will only exacerbate the contradictions and fail to solve the problem.

If we know that our colleagues want to isolate us, we can also be open-minded and honest, and take the initiative to let go of hostility, perhaps subtly resolve the difficult situation.

For example, when the other party encounters a difficulty at work, we can take the initiative to lend a hand, share a little trick, provide a little information, etc.

You must know that people's hearts are flesh and blood, and there are no eternal friends and no eternal interests in the workplace. If a colleague wants to isolate you, it must be motivated by some kind of interest or emotion, and when you overcome rigidity with softness like Tai Chi, after a period of time, no matter how great the hostility will subside.

My former leader once shared a sentence with me: If you want to be a great person, you have to force yourself to do things that you don't want to do and others don't want to do.

3. Break them one by one.

Usually isolated by colleagues, it is a small group that isolates itself collectively.

In this case, the best way to do this is to break them down one by one.

During the Warring States Period, the other six countries also united to "isolate" the Qin State many times, but the cleverness of the Qin State was that it implemented the strategy of "distant friendship and close attack", taking advantage of the gaps and contradictions of the six countries to defeat them one by one.

A similar strategy can be used in the workplace, for example, if you have a leading colleague in a small group and a few others are followers who don't have an idea, then you can prioritize wooing those who are wavering.

1. Don't doubt yourself, let alone deny yourself.

Some people always behave tactfully when dealing with their colleagues, for fear that their actions will upset others. Even if someone else does something wrong when getting along with a colleague, he will first suspect that he is not good enough in some aspects and is just looking for his own problems.

Although it is a good habit to reflect on yourself all the time. However, once it is not your own problem, there is no need to reflect and correct it, otherwise you will always be stuck somewhere.

When you encounter a colleague who is collectively isolating you, you might as well think about the punishment from the perspective of interests first, and don't rush to deny yourself.

2. Reflect on yourself and understand the root cause of the matter.

Everything must be reasoned and evidenced, and only by understanding things clearly can we better solve problems.

If there is a single children's poem in the department that isolates you, it may be someone else's problem, not yours.

However, if your colleagues in the department isolate you, it proves that you have touched their cheese and that you are not a member of their circle.

If that's the reason, you have to learn to reflect on yourself and see what went wrong. Of course, it is not for you to be wronged, nor is it to deliberately please others and give up your own principles, we must know that we know the boundary line, where it cannot be crossed, and where it is a safe zone, so that you can do things better in the safe zone and avoid provoking villains.

In the case of being isolated by colleagues in the workplace, you must be calm, analyze the specific reasons in detail, and then build a good relationship with your colleagues modestly and friendly, and pay more attention to communication. Be respectful of each other, so as to achieve an effective dissolution effect. There are several ways to be respectful.

1. Know how to think about others.

Don't care about everything, don't worry about some small things, and don't refuse to forgive yourself because others have done something wrong to you, refuse to forgive others, what is really good for yourself is to let others go, that is, let go of yourself. We must know how to perceive the hearts of others when we do things, and we must know how to say hello when we see people.

2. If you succeed, you don't look down on others, and if you fail, you don't look down on yourself.

Be a humble, neither humble nor arrogant person. Even if you have nothing now, you will not be excessively inferior and belittle yourself, but encourage yourself, even if you are successful now, you will not look down on others, and you will still work hard to check your own shortcomings.

3. Be good at listening to others.

Don't plan for someone else's words when they haven't finished speaking. If you have an opinion about the other person's opinion, don't dismiss the other person's idea. Wait for others to finish before expressing your opinion. In this way, we can harvest more friendship and real friends.

4. Respect each other's personality and ideas, and don't talk to people in a tough tone about everything.

No two leaves in the world are exactly the same, so you must know how to respect each other's hobbies, even if the other party is not willing to listen to your own words, don't blindly say it yourself, and be good at talking to each other, don't always talk about your own sadness, be good at listening to other people's ideas, and be better at knowing how to help others.