The daughter in law does not want to live with her mother in law after marriage, why can t the mothe

The mother-in-law is not a mother, and the daughter-in-law is not a daughter, and there must be friction when living together. Everyone's three views and living habits are different, and besides, they are all for the same man, and quarrels are inevitable.

Because the living habits are different. And the experience is not the same. Besides, your mother-in-law is not your own mother, and she will not tolerate you. I want to lie in bed, but I am embarrassed to lie in bed because my mother-in-law is here.

Because there is a big generation gap between the two generations, there will be a lot of conflicts when living together, especially between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Young people and old people have very different concepts, living habits and eating habits, so mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will have conflicts when they live together. Affect the harmony within the family.

Because after all, it is two generations, there will still be a certain generation gap in communication, and the way of life is not the same, if you insist on living together, it is easy to have contradictions, keep an appropriate distance, and can also produce some mystery.

It is because the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will have a lot of conflicts when they live together, and the living habits of the two people are different, living together will be very awkward, and it is easy to cause quarrels, so it will lead to the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not being able to live together.

Married mother-in-law and daughter-in-lawYou can live together, but it's better not to live together, living together has the advantages of living together, and there will be many disadvantages, the key depends on the individual.

If the family living conditions are good, they can live together for a long time, so the advantage is that the husband and wife can do the work they like with peace of mind, and the parents-in-law can help do the housework within their ability, and they can also help with the children.

Of course, young people are generally reluctant to live with older people. But this cannot be said to be unfilial piety or selfishness. As long as the two of them often see their parents, often care about their parents' lives, and often help their parents do something. Who can say that this is not filial piety to parents and in-laws.

This issue may be related to certain cultural traditions and social perceptions. In some cultures, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more complex, while the relationship between husband and wife is relatively simple. Usually, parents will pin all their hopes and expectations on their sons, believing that the sons are the heirs of the family and have the obligation to take care of the elders in the family and the family lineage.

In addition, some elderly people think that their son's wife, Zheng Nianzi, is not their own relatives, and they are not willing to live with them, but they will be more at ease with their biological son and more willing to be with him.

In addition to this, many in-laws acquiesce that their sons should live with their sons after marriage, which is also related to the lack of public services in modern urban life and the lack of responsibility for children to care for the elderly, which is more striking than in rural areas. In such cases, parents may feel that they need to be cared for by their sons, even if they are daughters. However, this perception is changing.

With the development of society and the improvement of education level, more and more families have begun to accept the way of their daughters and mothers-in-law living together, and various units and organizations are also working hard to provide better services for the elderly to help families take care of the elderly.

Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been the most difficult, and living together will lead to many conflicts. The reason for this phenomenon is that the following three factors are critical:

1. "One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers", and there can only be one hostess in the family

As the saying goes, "one mountain cannot tolerate two tigers", and in the same way, there is only one hostess who has the right to speak in a family. The mother-in-law has been "running" the family for many years, has established enough authority, and is accustomed to "pointing fingers" at her son, husband, and even grandson (granddaughter), and if she suddenly meets a disobedient woman who even wants to "seize power", a fight will inevitably break out between the two.

I have a colleague, Xiaomei, who has been married for less than a year, and basically "fights" with her mother-in-law at home every day. Xiaomei's mother-in-law has a strong personality and likes to "instruct" her grandson about various things, while Xiaomei is not a "soft persimmon", so she doesn't listen to each other, and the two quarrel when they don't agree and even move once. Xiaomei's husband said that he could not do anything in the face of this situation, but the two decided to go out to rent a house to live when they earned money this year.

Second, people in different eras have great differences in their concepts of life

Personally, I believe that the big difference in life concepts is a very key factor that leads to the discord and contradictions in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Differences in views on things and the opposite direction of decision-making can seriously hurt each other's feelings, and as dissatisfaction accumulates, it eventually explodes.

I know this question very well. Less than half a year after getting married, the daughter-in-law and the old mother quarreled twice. One of them was because my daughter-in-law bought a lot of fruit every time, but in the end she couldn't eat it, so she threw it away.

The mother felt that she was wasting and said a few words, but the daughter-in-law bluntly said that "spend your own money, don't worry about her".

Another time was during the Chinese New Year, when her mother called her to come down for dinner, and it was already 9 o'clock, but she never got up. The mother complained twice and was heard by her, and then the two confronted each other. (For my mother and daughter-in-law, I will be slightly biased towards my daughter-in-law, because I think it is not easy for her to come to this strange family for me.)

But I privately criticized my daughter-in-law for both of these things, and I went to apologize to my mother).

3. Worried that the other party will snatch the love of his son (husband).

Some mothers-in-law will worry that their son will "marry a daughter-in-law and forget his mother", after all, she has been paying for so many years, and she will never be allowed to compete for what belongs to her.

My cousin's mother is in this kind of mentality, she can't get used to her daughter-in-law everywhere, and she will find fault with each other when she has nothing to do, which eventually led to the divorce of my cousin and sister-in-law. In my opinion, the best way to meet a mother-in-law who thinks this way is not to live together, and not to meet is the best respect for each other. (In the same way, some women can't see that their husbands are too filial to their mothers, and they will be jealous, jealous, and have conflicts).

Some people say that a man with high emotional intelligence can handle the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law well, but I think that family chores are not as simple and easy to deal with as they seem on the surface. I always suggest that if conditions permit, the daughter-in-law should never live with her mother-in-law after marriage, and believe that distance can really count old age and produce beauty.

1. In the long run, living with the in-laws, the contradiction is unavoidable, maybe the newly married in-laws will not say anything, but after a long time, there will definitely be friction, plus after giving birth, the two generations of parenting concepts are different, you want the child to be like this, the mother-in-law wants to let the child be like that, then, quarrels must be indispensable.

2. Look up and don't look down, it will be very inconvenient to live together, this inconvenience covers the privacy of husband and wife, and the daughter-in-law also hates "mother-in-law comes in directly without knocking on the door", this situation is really embarrassing, although the mother-in-law said that they are all a family, don't see outside, don't be embarrassed, but your heart is diaphragm.

3. Living with his in-laws, a man's sense of responsibility will become smaller and smaller, if you let him take care of the child, he may be the shopkeeper and directly leave the child to his grandparents to see, and even the housework will be done by the parents, and he doesn't have to worry about anything. Such a man, frankly speaking, will not care too much about the whole family, children, and wife, and will always rely on others when encountering problems, just like a child who will never grow up.

Daughter-in-law: The reason why I don't want to live with my in-laws is that my mother-in-law is too strong.

Xiaohui has been married for two years, and when she got married in the first year, her husband couldn't afford to buy a house, so she lived with her in-laws for a year, 365 days a year.

Xiaohui always felt that her mother-in-law was targeting herself, because of a little thing, she didn't do what her mother-in-law wanted, so her mother-in-law came to blame, so she told her husband that she would have a child two years later, and the most important thing at present was to save some money to buy a house first, because she married and lived with her in-laws, she was really tired, and her father-in-law was better, but her mother-in-law was not a fuel-efficient lamp for socks.

My mother-in-law used to do a small business in the vegetable market, she was shrewd and strong, and she took care of all the big and small things in the family, so as to show her status in this family and be the real hostess of this family.

Xiaohui and her husband, as juniors, are sometimes unaccustomed to her approach, and will complain and complain a few words, but the mother-in-law can't allow others to speak, and immediately interrupts you, saying that you are stubborn, and firmly that she is right, and also educates Xiaohui as a person who has come over, saying that if you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer in front of you, you are still too young, and you will not consider the things comprehensively, and when I speak in the future, you will listen.

People have a spleen to fight and let go, Xiaohui swallowed her anger and suppressed her temper for more than a year, she was afraid that she would tear her face if she continued to live with her in-laws, so during the New Year, she discussed with her husband and said that you also paid a year-end bonus, plus my salary, we can buy a house with a down payment, it doesn't matter if the house is small, even if it is a one-bedroom apartment, I don't complain, because I really don't want to live with my in-laws.

In this way, Xiaohui and her husband moved out, and on the day they moved out, Xiaohui was very relaxed physically and mentally, but her mother-in-law had a gloomy face.