What are the injuries of the family of origin, what are the 9 types of harm of the family of origin?

The harm of the original family refers to the fact that there are some things that the original family does not do well, which has a far-reaching impact on the child's young mind and may affect it for a lifetime.

Different families have different injuries, and there are nine of them:

1. Perfectionist family:

Parents demand perfection too much, always let the child complete some things they can't accomplish, under such high-intensity pressure, will make the child's heart become very anxious, and even will be pathological to pursue perfection, in the face of setbacks, will produce unconfident or inferior emotions, not easy to accept failure, and even will do whatever it takes to win.

2. Overdoting families:

Nowadays, the family conditions are getting better and better, the child is the baby of the whole family, many parents will spoil their children very much, but excessive spoiling of children will make children self-centered, and there are also great defects in dealing with people.

3. Overprotective family:

Too much protection for children is also a situation that families are prone to nowadays, but too much protection also has a great impact on children. It will make the child become less independent, not confident enough, etc.! Doing everything is intimidating and has a great impact on a child's development.

4. Families who are excessively punished:

We in China believe in the best sticks out of good people, and families who like excessive punishment actually have a denial attitude towards the psychology of their children, they will constantly deny themselves, and they will not be confident enough in the later stage.

5. Overly busy families:

Busy families are also more common now, parents because of work, so can not take good care of children, so this will have a great impact on the child's psychology, so such a family of children will generally show anxiety, withdrawn emotions.

6. Indifferent family:

Parents' emotions, children can feel more intuitively, if parents show indifference to their children, it will make the child's psychology become relatively distorted, otherwise there will be some autism, and when there is a problem, it will also choose an indifferent way to solve it.

7. Single-parent families:

The impact of divorced families on children is very great, if they do not grow up in a sound family, children will grow up insecure and distrustful of feelings, and similarly, because of the emotional problems between parents, so they will not be very sincere in their marriage.

8. Families with poor parental relationships:

Children are the crystallization of their parents' love, and if the relationship between parents is not good, it will affect the intimacy between children and parents, and such children are easy to go to extremes and have no sense of security.

9. Families with excessive high pressure:

Children are never allowed to express their opinions, only parents say. Extroverts will rebel against high pressure, and if their parents continue to be high pressure, children may behave deviantly when they grow up, and use stubbornness to protect themselves and use them to fight. Introverts are pressured and will retreat inside, which is more dangerous.

(1) Violent families.

Scene: There are frequent quarrels and even fights in the family. Mom and Dad, grandparents, siblings, etc. don't get along well, and they go to war if they don't agree with each other.

Hurt: Families where parents quarrel often lack a sense of inclusion and intimacy, and take extreme measures whenever there is a disagreement. Under the influence of this family, the child will feel guilty and bear a lot of psychological pressure.

This kind of behavior will be remembered by the child, and when there is a disagreement with someone, he will take the form of quarrels and fights to solve the problem.

2) Protective family.

Scenario: Parents like to do it all by themselves, no matter what their children do, they are always worried that their children will not do well, and even afraid that their children will be in danger.

Harm: Parents take care of everything, so that children lack the opportunity to learn, resulting in poor independence, hesitation in trouble, and thinking of parents when there is a problem.

3) Free-range families.

Scenario: Some parents prefer to be free-range compared to protective families. Some are because parents are too busy with work, some are because of parents' wrong educational concepts, and some are because of divorce, handing over their children to their elders or completely ignoring them, leaving their children in a state of no education for a long time.

Harm: The Analects have clouds, the beginning of man, the nature is good. But if the child is neglected for a long time, and no one gives him normal fatherly and maternal love, he may feel that he is worthless, and he will grow up to be competitive and must be recognized by others.

And no one teaches him right and wrong, and the process of growing up will be very tortuous, and it may even lead to the path of crime.

4) Patriarchal (female) and female (male) families.

Scenario: With the reform and opening up, there are fewer and fewer families that favor sons over daughters. However, in feudal and backward areas or individual elders, there are still such thoughts.

Su Mingyu in "It's All Good" is a typical example, as well as the mother of Hong Kong's deceased star Anita Mui, interested parents can search for it. There are some families who want to conceive a boy or girl, but when they are disappointed, they will unconsciously dislike the child.

Harm: Children often become rebellious because of unfair treatment by their parents, and long-term lack of recognition leads to low self-confidence.

5) Doting-type family.

Scene: It is a bit close to a protective family, but such a family treats the child as an "ancestor", stretches out his hand to eat and opens his mouth, gives the child what he wants, and allows the child to make all kinds of mistakes.

Harm: The most common is the bear child in daily life, selfish and willful is not a problem, and others accuse their parents of saying that they are still a child. Such children are not only irresponsible, but also often like to dominate others, and when their needs are not met, they will lose control of their emotions, and they may do things that hurt others.

Kiss is happy to answer for you. <>

The harm of the original family actually affects the child's sense of security very much, especially the family that often quarrels or divorces, which will make the child feel that all this may happen because of himself. And as the family breaks down, the child will feel very insecure, and the heart will become very fearful and afraid. <>

Some families of origin may not have a change in marriage, but parents are too strict with their children, which will also make them feel insecure. Because they will feel that everything about them is not good enough, so they are very unconfident and do not want to believe in themselves. <>

I hope I can help you and wish you a happy life.

<> "The Harm Caused by the Family of Origin.

10 Signs of Having Been Hurt by Your Family of Origin)

The family of origin refers to the family that we have been raised since childhood, with parents, brothers and sisters, "The impact of the family of origin on a person is long-term and profound. "Have you ever been hurt by your family of origin? 10 Signs of Having Been Hurt by Your Family of Origin! Hopefully you don't.

1.Emotional instability: People who usually grow up with violent emotions from their parents experience more extreme emotions and have a hard time calming down. Emotions erupt randomly and are difficult to control.

2.Giving personality: Never received the unconditional love of parents, and will try to make up for the regrets of the past by nourishing others, so they will pay too much for others and make themselves very tired.

3.Low self-esteem: Children who are often criticized and belittled by their parents tend to become sensitive, pessimistic, and unconfident after a long time, and have a low self-esteem, always feeling that they are not good enough.

4.Always suppress your emotions: When you were a child, you were not noticed by your parents on the bench, or every time you expressed your needs, your parents always said that you were not sensible. After a long time, children are reluctant to express themselves to their parents, and they are used to being cautious, suppressing themselves, and holding everything in their hearts.

5.Aggressive: People who have been violently harmed by their parents, are irritable, show hostility towards others, abuse animals, etc.

6.Hardly any friends: People who have been emotionally hurt as children often lack social skills or are afraid to socialize, do not like to socialize, and always isolate themselves from others, with few friends around them.

The more essential reason is that you have been hurt and are unwilling to open the door of your heart.

7.Thoughts of wanting to escape: People who have been emotionally hurt by their parents often feel very helpless, and even have the idea of wanting to escape from their parents and life.

8.People-pleasing personality and desire for recognition: People who have been accustomed to pleasing their parents since childhood, and who look at their parents' faces, will also be accustomed to pleasing and pleasing others in exchange for peace when they grow up; I care a lot about what others say about me, and I want to be recognized by others.

9.Pessimistic and misanthropic: Children who have been belittled and ridiculed by their parents since they were young are easy to see their own goodness, become very pessimistic and sensitive, and do not believe in the beauty of life. I often feel that life is not interesting, and when I encounter difficulties, I feel that it would be better if I died.

10.Guilt: Parents often say to their children "I am all for your good" and "I am really raised for nothing" and other moral kidnapping, which will make the child feel a deep sense of guilt in his heart, and feel that the people around him have a hard time because of their own reasons.

Although you have been influenced by your original family, in the final analysis, you are still responsible for your own life, and you must love yourself.

<> "Psychological Knowledge.

<> "The Harm Caused by the Family of Origin.

10 Signs of Having Been Hurt by Your Family of Origin)

1. Emotional instability.

2. Giving personality.

3.Low self-esteem.

4. Always suppress your emotions and grind stupidity.

5. Aggressive and injured by the original family.

6.Hardly any friends.

7. The idea of wanting to flee appears.

8. People-pleasing personality and desire for recognition.

9. Pessimistic and tired of silver.

10. Guilt.

Have you ever been disappointed in your parents?

"Reason" with you when I can talk to you.

When I can't talk about you, I will "talk about ethics" with you.

Encourage you to be strong, to be confident, to be optimistic, but never to think about why you are who you are.

Ask your children to be "someone else's child" and forgive yourself with "a child of a poor family".

As far back as I can remember, my father never hugged me, and he rarely even spoke to him, let alone coquettishly. When I was 5 years old, I was brought back from my grandmother's house, and since then, everything has been given priority to my sister and brother, and I don't fight or grab it.

When I was in the fourth grade, I was called a parent by the teacher because I didn't finish a homework, and my mother stood at the door of the classroom and slapped me in front of the teacher and more than 40 classmates, and I had a nosebleed.

I still remember that the first time I go to my grandmother's house every time I have a holiday, I am willing to go if there is no delicious food, I am willing to go without fun, I am willing to go without beautiful clothes, I am willing to go to other people's parents when I call my parents, I am willing to go when I am bullied by other people's parents in places that my grandmother can't see, and I am willing to go without my parents.

Every time my father came to pick me up at the end of the holiday, I sat under the persimmon tree in front of my grandmother's house and cried heartbreakingly, but I also thought that I was afraid that my father would have to go home, and I still can't forget that feeling no matter how many years have passed.

Now, after more than 20 years, I go back and ask the five or six-year-old girl: What were you thinking at that time? Why don't you want to go back to your own home?

She couldn't remember it anymore, but she remembered that my sister grew up on my father's back, my brother grew up in my father's arms, and I grew up in a little memory of myself before I was five years old.

I really wanted to tell my mother how I grew up, I had friends who could not retreat, my inner inferiority complex and disobedience were caused by this family, I did not have the ability to calm and heal myself, but I kept my mouth shut, because they tried to water a towering giant tree with a bottle of mineral water, they did not realize the mistake, and I did not say.

Parents demand perfection too much and always let their children accomplish things that they can't accomplish, and under such high-intensity pressure, it will make the child's heart become very anxious.

Unprincipled compromise, let the child act exactly according to his own intentions, the spoiled child is willful, has the means, and will come up with the means when the parents do not meet his requirements, often self-centered, the spoiled child, the heart is empty. I often use anger to control others, so there is a lot of anger.

In the family of origin, when parents deny their children, children are not recognized and respected. When parents are controlling their children, they are not accepted and respected.

Some parents will directly push their children into a difficult situation and let him face many difficulties alone, such as helping parents take care of their families, taking care of their own emotions, etc. At this time, the child lacks support and help. When he grows up, he may especially crave a strong and powerful person to give him a harbor.