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I deeply understand that my daughter was brought up by us and the child's grandmother, and the old man poured a lot of effort into the child. I used to watch health TV programs without children, but now I have to watch scientific parenting programs every day, and I used to have a very anxious temper, but now I try to control my emotions and am afraid of affecting my children. We often discuss with both of us various problems in training and communication.
Despite this, there will still be differences in opinions and practices between the elderly and us, and they will still be overly doting and protective of the children. The child can obviously feel this differential treatment as well, so often her grandmother will play the role of shelter. However, in terms of children's habit formation and character formation, there is nothing that cannot be communicated with the elderly, and there is a great possibility as to whether a consensus can be reached.
In the realm of love, the elements of right and wrong may be blurred, but it is also easy to change our view of right and wrong.
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This is a deep-seated ethical and emotional issue. Human beings, like other living beings, have gifts and instincts that have been passed down from generation to generation. People have different perceptions of life at different ages.
With the change of age and the aging of the body, the feeling of death and rebirth will become more intense, so the elderly will subconsciously show more direct feelings for their grandchildren, resulting in excessive, excessive or even unprincipled care and protection. The so-called intergenerational parenting is mainly the deep desire of the elderly for the continuation of their own life projected onto their grandchildren, and caring for their grandchildren is to a certain extent a normal reaction to their natural aging. The saying that people are old and affectionate, people who are old and fragile, and old children are also a direct reflection of this aspect.
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The old and the young, the old and the young are incomprehensible to the middle group. Why do you think so much? It's better to kiss than to be a feud from one generation to another.
The elderly may feel that they don't have time to spend well with their children, but now that they have time, hurry up and spend time with their grandchildren. If you think about it carefully, is there such an ingredient, we young people are busy now, basically have no time to watch our children grow up, and we feel guilty when we see our children, and when we have it in 40 years, after retirement, will we feel pro? I can't help but hug my baby when I see it, but I don't have time to accompany it, what if I have time?
If you don't understand it now, maybe you will understand when you are old and have grandchildren.
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After becoming a grandparent, most of the time is to watch grandchildren (female), the vast majority of the children in the family are grandparents to see the grandparents, grandparents have more communication and interaction, emotional exchanges are more colorful, so it will be more cordial than the parents' affection. Grandparents have the experience of feeding and raising children, and have accumulated a lot of experience and lessons in the process of raising and raising, and grandparents will apply these experiences and lessons to their grandchildren, so that their children will be compensated for the care and love that their children have not enjoyed.
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On the one hand, it is related by blood, and on the other hand, it is also related to "intergenerational raising". In addition, when their children grow up, they have their own independence, and there is a generation gap in communication. And the grandchildren's attachment to themselves has a sense of intimacy, and they are emotionally better than their sons, so they have intergenerational relatives.
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Most of the grandparents have seen through life, and they even think that the child should let him grow up freely and let them have their own space, so many children think that grandparents are the ones who understand them best. That's how intergenerational relatives come about. But my family does not have this problem, everyone is pro, especially my children worship me very much, because as long as the holiday, I take them to engage in small products handmade, and even engage in a little innovation, of course, my lathe, milling machine, drilling machine, welding machine and other all large and small tools are complete, more convenient.
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At this stage of parents and children, because they are the first generation, they have no sense of foresight before; After giving birth to a child, the pressure of life prompts parents to run more for their livelihood, and have no time to take care of the feelings of their children, on the contrary, they may also see their children as a burden, because parents and children live together, for a long time, the contradictions between each other are self-evident, and their family affection will be greatly reduced.
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People have missed many, many things, and redemption is often an idea, but the next generation has given you such an opportunity, for various reasons, you have missed a lot of things for your children, and I regret it in retrospect, but the opportunity is that the grandchildren are coming, what a good opportunity, how can you miss it, so I said that.
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I really haven't seen such a generational parent, and I don't know much about it!
The first is to be grateful. Family members are the ones who have been with us the longest. Between family members, mutual support and help are indispensable, and the nourishment of kindness is indispensable.
Dealing with outsiders, we still know that "the grace of a drop of water is reciprocated by a spring". We should be more grateful to our families. Grateful for the company of family members and the support of family members.
We must repay our parents with filial piety, our lovers with love, and our brothers with love. Don't stay in the favor of your family for a long time, everything will be taken for granted, and you will only take potatoes to know how to ask for them, and you will not know how to be grateful. The more grateful a person is, the more harmonious the relationship with his family.
The second is to be considerate. Between family members, who have been together for a long time, there must be friction and contradictions between each other. As a family, there is no problem that cannot be solved.
When you encounter a problem, don't rush to get angry, and don't speak ill of each other. We must try to restrain our meanness, control our words, and let our mentality calm down and calm down. Don't lose your temper and fight in front of your family; Don't speak harshly to your family members and don't speak out.
Love is understanding and tolerance, and relatives need to be considerate. We should get along with our family members with a peaceful heart and be more considerate of their family's difficulties. If there is a conflict with your family, take a step back, endure it, and leave some leeway, and the friction will be eliminated and the contradiction will be solved.
People who are considerate of their family will be more comfortable with their family and more comfortable they will be.
Third, it is necessary to have a heart of help.
Brothers are of the same heart, and their profits are gold; The stupid losers are at odds and fall apart. In this world, the most terrible thing is that family members can't help each other, and they are still intrigued. A family should help and love each other, and not have different hearts; A family can't speak two words, and it can't do things.
If a person has shortcomings, the home will not be tidy; If a person is not happy, the family will not be happy. A family cannot allow one person to be left behind. Therefore, it is really important that we understand the love of our elders for our children, and we should strive to maintain a good relationship with each other.
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For today's society, the phenomenon of intergenerational parenting is also very existing, why intergenerational is more likely to produce this kind of intimate psychology, but also some netizens can not understand, in fact, for some elderly people, because they are too old, some things in the society can not be touched, and for some children, at this age more need someone to take care of him, so some elderly people prefer to take care of children, This has led to the phenomenon of intergenerational parenting that is also common in today's society. <>
For this kind of intergenerational parenting is also a true portrayal of some families, you must know that for our parents, they may be very strict when taking care of us, but for their grandchildren, they are indeed very spoiled when taking care of their grandchildren, which makes some young people very distressed, after all, they may have some bad effects on their children in the process of epic discipline due to their parents' departure. <>
I also hope that some people can correctly look at the concept of intergenerational parents, their grandparents are very normal to their own spoiling, but they can not be very doting, this kind of doting on their own life path development is also an adverse impact, I also hope that people can understand this truth, for some older people, in this environment should also look for some things to do, such as enrolling in some old age college or going to drink tea, play mahjong, These are some forms of pastime, and you should not interfere with your own children's discipline of children. <>
This kind of meddling may also lead to the development of some bad habits in the future growth of their grandchildren, and these bad habits will have an impact on their lives, which is also very serious, and I hope that some old people can understand this phenomenon. It is also hoped that some parents can stop some elderly people from falling in love with them while disciplining their children, which is also a trouble on the road to growth.
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I think intergenerational parenting is very good, I think it is very kind, which shows that the child is genuinely loved; Personally, I think that the intergenerational relatives are mainly because of the blood relationship, and the age gap between the two parties is particularly large, so there is a different feeling, so it will be easier to get close.
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Nowadays, many families in society belong to the next generation of grandfathers, and grandmothers' feelings for their grandchildren are very deep. Because this is also a kind of inheritance of human blood.
The intergenerational pro-generation is because the older generation sees their grandchildren and grandchildren jumping around, and they can't help but think of the liveliness and cuteness of their children when they were young.
Everyone in modern society has different degrees of mobile phone dependence, which is a normal psychological reflection that everyone may have. This is usually manifested by anxiety when you forget to bring your phone or when your phone is running out of battery.
Your parents are not afraid that no one will take care of them when they are old They are afraid that you will abandon them The old people are originally nagging, and some people want to honor their parents, but their parents are gone, I have to say that this is really sad Your parents are still sick What is this asking Isn't it all for you What do they live for all their lives? Aren't they all for their children They can ignore you when you were a child and be happy to be at ease But look at the other way you are under such pressure to run away Complain to your parents Are you worthy of your conscience? Even if you have all your troubles, don't bring them to your parents, let them live out their old age in peace.
Reaching middle age means a double burden from life and work. It is the backbone of the family at home, responsible for the family's economy, raising children, and taking care of the aging elders. Under various pressures from the outside, middle-aged people are often prone to struggle, and midlife crises are quietly coming.
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