Why is it sometimes impossible to express one s emotions directly with people in close relationships

Tell the other party, and the other party may not understand or respond. After all, everyone is an independent individual, and no matter how intimate they are, there are parts that the other party can't understand and empathize with.

Excluding situations where communication is really impossible, we discuss possibilities that can be improved. Maybe in previous communication, the other party left you with the impression that they were not patient enough and did not pay enough attention to your emotions, so you "feel" that it is meaningless to express your emotions. In this case, you need to tell the other person what you need.

It's possible that the other party can do it, but they didn't think it mattered before. If you are important in their hearts, they will not ignore your needs.

In terms of image, you think it's the dark side, maybe people don't think so. Even if it is unacceptable to the other party, isn't it more conducive to the other party to make a choice by making it clear earlier? Of course, the premise is to build a long-lasting, stable relationship.

As for the results of communication, believe me, there is nothing worse than not communicating, accumulating problems, and creating apathy.

Our ability to articulate our emotions comes from very complex operations within ourselves: first, we need to have the ability to feel our emotions; Second, we need to have the ability to name the emotions we feel; Third, we will assess the security of the relationship with the other party internally and assess the risk of expression; Fourth, choose how you want to express yourself.

First of all, the ability to feel emotions: in fact, not everyone can feel their emotions clearly. In the process of psychological counseling, such a phenomenon is often seen:

A person who is talking about something he has been through, and in the process of listening to him, the counselor feels very strong emotions, but the person himself seems to be talking about other people's things, as if everything has nothing to do with him.

When the counselor goes to discuss with him what he feels during the storytelling, he will often be very rational and say, "It's nothing, it's gone anyway", and this phenomenon often happens to people who have experienced some major trauma. This is not exactly the significance of the event, but for the person, it may be a very significant event at the level of feelings.

There are so many worries. I don't want to expose my emotions to the people closest to me, for fear that my relatives and friends will worry.

There is a gap, and the two do not communicate well, for fear that the other party will not be able to accept it. Even if there is a gap between intimate lovers, it is difficult for two people to communicate, in case the other party does not accept their emotions, it also makes them feel very embarrassed, and some people just want to give up and not express it.

Because the more intimate the person, it will be very important to himself, I don't want to make him unhappy together, I care about the other party very much, I want him to know that he is good, and I am afraid of affecting the relationship between them.

This situation has a lot to do with your personality, and many times it may be that your personality is particularly introverted, or you are particularly embarrassed to do such a thing.

It may be that when you have emotions, you feel that no one can understand you, and you will feel very lonely.

I think it's because I'm afraid that expressing it will make the people closest to me sad, and I'm afraid of losing them. The better the relationship, the more uncomfortable it is to express your opinions. There are feelings of "caring" and "fear of hurt".

First of all, take care. Caring here does not mean helping others as much as possible in life, but maintaining care as much as possible in communication, understanding the feelings of others. For example:

Well, I just bought a red dress yesterday.

What do you think? Stand in front of you and look at her waist, loose face and small eyesYou are friends with her, and you know that the clothes she bought are not suitable for her, and what you think in your heart is: the clothes you bought are not good-looking, the colors are not well chosen, and they are not suitable for you.

Say something like: "This dress. Well, it doesn't matter, the color is fine, the red looks bright and has some features.

Did you say something against your will? In fact, you know it's very wrong to say that, but you have to say it. This is a self-defense strategy for interpersonal communication between friends, which has the effect of decorating the impression.

People don't like to hear bad things and saying too much hurts the feelings of both parties. This cover-up of not telling the truth is done carefully. In my life, I like people who say what they say and what they say.

This mindset is really fascinating. The process of understanding each other after having said something is actually a good opportunity for both parties to strengthen their relationship. At first, when contradictions are transformed into honesty, they usually produce excellent results.

It is precisely because I value you that I hide something. I have to take care of your feelings so as not to cause more harm to both parties. Obviously, you don't like the other person who doesn't wash their feet and doesn't sleep, but you just don't say it.

Obviously the other party likes to stay up late, you are used to going to bed early and will feel uncomfortable, but it is not clear. Why? Fear of being hurt.

Instead of venting his frustration, he might as well hide and find a chance to discuss it. Looking for an opportunity? When is this opportunity, a month, half a year, or a year?

There may still be a long way to go. After a long time, the relationship will be gone and I will never be in love again. So I think it's because I'm afraid that expressing it will make the people closest to me sad, and I'm afraid of losing them.

The above is a personal opinion.

Because people have an angry side.

Because they worry about other people's feelings and emotions.

Because you will feel that it is very shy.

They are all very naïve.

Because I think it's a shy thing.

Because I always feel very sensy and shy. Never have I ever said to my parents in person that I love you.

The better the relationship, the more awkward you will feel when you express your opinions, and there are emotions of "care" and "fear of harm" in it.

Because our relationship is too close, we would rather carry it alone than worry about the other party, and the same is true for reporting good news or not bad news.

Because we always feel that they are the ones who know us best, we don't need to express our emotions directly, and they can also know that if they express themselves directly, then it will seem a little hypocritical.

To put it simply, it is because of fear, fear of the deterioration of the relationship with each other, fear of the collapse of self-mirroring. Sometimes we are reluctant to express our emotions directly because we are afraid that they will affect our relationship.

When we get along with people we are close to, we feel that we both understand our feelings, and we don't need to say more, and it seems redundant to express our emotions directly.

Because Chinese have always been very subtle in expressing feelings, plus your personality may be introverted, and you grew up in a family that is not good at expressing yourself.

Everyone has an ego, even if there is a certain distance from close people, so they will not pour out all their emotions to each other, and sometimes it may be because they feel that they can't find a suitable way to express themselves.

Because we are afraid that our ideas will not be affirmed by them, because they are the closest people to us, we want their support too much, so we are afraid to express it with them.

Generally speaking, the closer the person, the more trusting we should be, and be honest and have nothing to say. But the truth is the opposite, the closer people are now, the more unwilling to say a lot of things. Sometimes I'd rather go to a stranger and tell you the secret that is hidden in my heart.

I'm that kind of person too. Every time I say something to my family, it's an understatement. Never tell them about something that hurts me or hurts me very badly, to them.

But sometimes, a little thing will be magnified countless times by me, stretched out and said infinitely.

Many people who work hard outside have a common characteristic, reporting good news but not bad news. Why? Because we tell our families what is good, they will be very happy and happy for us.

When we tell them the bad news, the distance is so far away, and they are powerless, they will hear that they are not having a good time outside, they will think about it, and they will not be comfortable at home.

The more intimate you are, the more you care. The more they don't want them to worry about themselves, the more they feel sorry for themselves, worry about themselves, and see their ugly side. So some things are selectively hidden.

In a word, my hidden, white lies. I hope you're doing well. Don't have the stuff I'm carrying.

I chose to deceive you just to make you really think I'm good. Happy for me. I don't want my parents to worry about me, and I don't want them to suffer after me.

I chose to hide my emotions because I didn't want to pass on my unhappiness to people close to me and make them unhappy too.

Just trying to make you think. I've really grown up and can survive well and have the ability to take care of myself and my family.

I believe that most people have an emotional defect, which is that we express our emotions or emotions in front of the person we like as if it is very simple, and we may feel that we have to do it. But in front of intimate people, we are always incoherent, as if we say a lot of things, not to express our emotions, we are difficult to express our emotions directly.

I don't know why I can't speak in front of close people, I don't know where to start, how to express it to the other person?

I'm the same person, I can say whatever I want to say on campus, and my emotional expression is quite in place, but when I get home, I even lose the ability to need, I don't know what to say to my family, I think about it in an infinite loop, talk about my own business, as if I'm back healthy, there's nothing to say, I just can't find a topic to talk to them.

The same is true in front of my parents, knowing that I know that my living expenses are over, I will not ask them again; You were so sad and even cried one day, but you didn't tell them, just to keep them from worrying. One day, you suddenly missed them, and after a long time, ** suddenly sounded, and it looked like it was them, but you didn't say anything you thought about on **, just said that I was fine, you take care of yourself.

It's the same with your close classmates in college, you don't tell them anything about your difficulties or recent mood breakdowns, and you only tell them what's wrong with you until they find out.

Maybe we are kind-hearted, we don't want the people who care about us, love us and our closest people to worry about us, and we also want someone to accompany us when we are sad, it seems that selfish love is very few people can bear, people want to solve it in two simple and direct ways, first: tell them your emotions directly; Second: Don't tell them any of your mood changes.

Neither of these methods seems to be good for anyone, so everyone chooses to tell your close people about your emotions directly.

Once, when we tried to express our emotions to someone close to us, we thought that everyone was unhappy when I said it, so why should I throw bad emotions on others and let others bear them with me.

At the beginning of man, nature is good. The reason why we can't express our straightforward emotions in front of intimate people is because we have grown up and have our own thinking ability, and we feel that everyone will not be able to do this, and slowly our self-care ability will become stronger, just because the other party is an intimate person, but what you hope is that the other party can live happily every day, and will not ruin the whole mood because of your little emotions.

I think it has something to do with some of our Chinese culture, because compared with foreign countries, China is still more subtle in expressing feelings, so we generally don't say I love you like those in the United States.

Because sometimes in the face of intimate people, some words are embarrassed to say directly, and good emotions may be fine.