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Communicate with them as friends.
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Methods of communication between parents and children: Establish a good communication environment, listen to children's thoughts and feelings, use simple language, avoid arguments and attack premature language, and encourage children to express their needs and desires.
1. Establish a good communication environment: Create an open, respectful and safe atmosphere in the family, so that children feel comfortable and at ease. This can be achieved through regular family gatherings, doing chores together, or participating in outdoor activities.
2. Listen to your child's thoughts and feelings: Parents should learn to listen to their children's thoughts and feelings, and not easily interrupt or criticize them. When your child expresses his or her opinion, give him plenty of time and space to finish his or her words.
3. Use simple language: Parents should use simple and understandable language to communicate with their children and avoid using overly technical or complex vocabulary. This makes it easier for children to understand and accept their parents' point of view.
4. Avoid arguments and aggressive language: Disagreements and conflicts may arise between parents and children, but arguments and aggressive language are not a good way to solve problems. Instead, parents should remain calm, rational, and patient and resolve issues through dialogue.
5. Encourage children to express their needs and desires: Parents should encourage their children to express their needs and desires and meet their requirements as much as possible. This can boost your child's self-esteem and confidence, while also helping to build a closer relationship.
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1. Create a good knowledge environment.
Children should have a good environment for learning, not high-end, but for the atmosphere, students should avoid unnecessary family chat, friends gatherings, etc., as little as possible at home reception. In addition, it is necessary to create a harmonious, peaceful and stable family atmosphere, and parents should not fight and quarrel frequently, which affects the psychological development of children.
2. Trust your child unconditionally.
Parents are their children's first teachers and lifelong role models. The strengths, weaknesses, good habits, and bad habits of children basically come from the influence of parents and the surrounding environment. Therefore, what children are required to do, parents must first do.
Appreciate the advantages of the child as much as possible, tolerate the shortcomings as much as possible, and look at the child with a magnifying glass, knowing that there is no perfect child in the world, and no matter how perfect the child is, he has his own shortcomings. Parents' unconditional trust in their children is an important foundation for communication with their children.
The importance of communication between parents and children
1. Communication can enhance family cohesion.
The family is bound by blood relations, and each member of the family has the same interests. Therefore, effective communication can make the family form a harmonious and friendly relationship, so as to increase the cohesion of the family. Many parents think that in the kindergarten stage, the child has no independent thoughts, and everything is unknown, and they feel that the child's educational responsibility at this stage lies with the kindergarten teacher.
2. It is conducive to the child's opening of the heart.
Not every child will be open to communicating with their parents, because children have their own subjective consciousness and attitudes, and they will only communicate with people they trust on a deeper level.
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1. Understand and respect children.
Understanding and respecting your children can effectively shorten the psychological distance between you and your children and narrow the generation gap.
Understanding is an emotion of unconditional affection and respect that requires your selflessness and love. However, as parents, we often attach great importance to our "face", and we often hope that our children will obey us unconditionally, but we cannot respect our children unconditionally. Of course, this is not to ask parents to agree with all the views and behaviors of their children, but to be able to put ourselves in their children's shoes, see with their eyes, listen with their ears, and think with their minds.
Parents should know: for adolescent children, it can be said that they "value" their peers more than anyone else and "ignore" adults. If parents can't understand them, their children will look outward to find someone who understands them.
On the contrary, if parents can understand them, they will feel the warmth and security of the family, and they will be willing to communicate with their parents. Parents should remember that for adolescent children, only by understanding them first, and then can they be properly guided.
Without understanding, it is difficult for all education and guidance to have really good results!
2. Tell your children your true feelings.
When parents talk to their children, it is very important to accurately convey their inner thoughts and wishes to their children, so that children can feel the love and kindness contained in their parents' "criticism" and "education", which can reduce children's resistance caused by parents' "inappropriate words".
The discipline of parents, originally out of "love and kindness", is often covered up in various improper ways. When parents angrily scold their children, their "love" is often drowned in "rough discipline". Although many parents scold their children from time to time and claim that "I am for your good", what their children hear is thunderous scolding, and it is difficult to feel the "love and kindness" of their parents.
Parents are often immersed in their own starting point and insist on going their own way "for the good of their children", and they don't even think about what their children think of themselves. One father was surprised to learn by chance that his son "hated and feared" him: he had never thought about what his son thought of him, but only thought that he loved him very much.
Since then, he has changed the way he disciplines his son. Studies at home and abroad have shown that the parenting style of the father and the mother who is too strict and lacks warmth is not conducive to the healthy growth of the child as much protection and interference.
As a parent, you should not use "scolding and reprimand" to disguise and wrap your "love and kindness", but should directly and accurately express your feelings and thoughts, so that the effect will be better.
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1. Learn to give positive feedback to your child. In the process of communicating with children, parents should actively listen to their children's words, grasp key information from them, help children analyze and judge, and give feasible suggestions, so that children can get positive feedback in the process of communicating with parents. Only then will the child be willing to continue communicating with his parents.
2. Parent-child communication needs to be maintained for a long time. Once communication begins, it can't be stopped, as continuous communication is a necessary part of any relationship improvement. If communication between parents and children is an unusual behavior, then when both parties want to calm down and have a good talk, there will be a lot of friction and contradictions in the process of ditch dust molding, which will make communication more difficult.
3. In children's education, do not abuse moral kidnapping. For example, "I'm doing this for your own good, and you should understand your parents' intentions." Wise parents will be good at listening to their children's ideas, even if they do not agree with their own ideas, they should listen carefully first, and communicate with their children on an equal footing under the premise of empathy.
4. Encouragement. Parents should not interrupt their children while they are talking, but encourage them to continue. In the ditch slippery course, parents should not easily refute their children's ideas or opinions with their own identity or so-called experiences.
If we want our children to listen to us, we must first learn to listen to them. Even if your child says something wrong, as a parent, don't laugh at it, let alone blame it.
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01.Proactively communicate with our parents The older we get, the less time we can spend with our parents.
The difference in life circles will lead to a decrease in the common topics between parents and children.
In daily life, many parents want to know their children's recent situation, so they learn to play WeChat, or even Weibo, they do this, just to shorten the distance with their children, to understand their children's recent situation.
We can take the initiative and talk to our parents about our work or life so that our parents can have a certain understanding of their living situation.
I believe that every parent will be more interested in these topics.
02.Think from the parent's point of view.
It is inevitable that our parents have different life experiences and have different perspectives on things than we do.
For example, the concept of marriage, in the parents' generation, or feel that marriage is the first thing in life, so when the child reaches the marriageable age, he will be very anxious.
However, the younger generation generally does not think that marriage is the most important thing in life, they think that there are many other important things to do in life, and they are not very willing to marry too early.
This incident is the most common generation gap between young people and their parents, and at the same time, family conflicts that occur because of this incident are not uncommon.
For this matter, it is advisable not to be too opinionated.
We should think about these issues from the perspective of our parents, who in their generation, firmly believe that marriage is the biggest and most urgent thing in life.
In front of our parents, we should be more accommodating to them and follow their opinions.
Sometimes, it's important to be subtle and perfunctory. After all, whether we can find a suitable marriage partner is not something that can be obtained by our unilateral efforts.
03.Take the initiative to help your parents do something.
There was a conversation between Aunt Wang and Aunt Zhao from the next door on the way home, they were chatting about some common words, and the content of the chat was very comfortable. Aunt Wang said that she felt that when her son grew up, he would feel distressed, and he would help wash vegetables and cook rice when he came home.
Although this is only a small matter, Aunt Wang's face is full of happiness.
Our parents have been cooking for us for ten years and taking care of our daily life and food, and we have long been accustomed to being taken care of.
But when we take the initiative to help our parents do something, even if it is a small thing, they are very relieved, and sometimes they will show it off to their friends.
Helping parents do more will make them happier and the family more harmonious.
Although this method is not to express love for parents through verbal language, it is a loving body language, which can also achieve a good parent-child communication effect.
There are communication problems between parents and children, and the main problem is the difference in perception, but it is unrealistic to want to change the other person's perception.
Parents' views on some things have long been ingrained, and young children have new ideas that are progressive with the times.
As an adult, when the thoughts and actions of parents do not cause substantial harm to anyone, we can be more accommodating to our parents and more compatible with them.
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