Ask for a joke from the GI, and the GI tells a joke text version

Is it the story of the Japanese and the Americans?

GI Tells Jokes Text Version 1:

1. In the performance of a company's annual meeting, the female host led the atmosphere and shouted "Performance!" ”

She said you want to pick up Changhong! So a piece of performance is long-lasting! Outstanding achievement! Long red!

The host suddenly shouted "Layoffs!" ”

The audience was in a daze, and the host said that you have to pick up the roll.

2. The real estate agent says to a client looking for a vacation home, "I can give you a very good **." The house is very close to the coast, four floors, and even five floors at low tide. ”

3. At the meeting at 9 o'clock in the morning, a certain leader spoke first and said: "I will only talk about three points today. "Big joy.

It dawned on him until the afternoon in the conference room, and what he said was, "I'm only going to talk until three o'clock today." ”

4. My colleague's wife sent a courier from home with EMS for five days just arrived (all in a city), and when he signed for it, he complained to the courier about why the courier was so slow?

The courier pointed to the EMS spokesperson on the express mail and said ...... leisurelyLiu Xiang stumbled and ...... respectfully

GI Tells Jokes Text Version 2:

1. I proposed a salary increase to the manager of the personnel department, and the manager said to me: "Although our company is small, it is full of talents. You see the old man in the communication room, his son has millions of yuan in assets, and he is still working with me, and his salary is only 900 yuan; The cleaning aunt who mopped the floor just now, her son drove a Mercedes-Benz, and his salary was also 900 yuan; This typist, her family has three houses, and her salary is only 1,200 yuan.

You can go and ask them to see if I'm lying. I'll give you a salary of 1,500 yuan, which is not low, do a good job, you can increase it again! ”

After a month, I learned that the old man in the communication room was the boss's father, the cleaning aunt was his mother, and the typist was the boss's wife.

2. At work that day, my colleague secretly told me: "There was a thief at home today." ”

Me: "Ah, is it a big loss?" ”

Colleague: "The loss is not big, I lost two gold goods." ”

Me: "That's not big?" What's missing? The gold ring, or the gold necklace Qi Hui. ”

Colleague: "I haven't lost any of this, isn't this still on my body?" ”

Me: "Is it the gold bricks that are being lost?" ”

Colleague: "With our salary, can I afford to buy gold bricks?" I'll tell you the truth, I lost two barrels of Arowana cooking oil. ”

3. The company recruits, after work and the colleagues in charge of recruitment have dinner together, he said: "Today a beautiful woman who graduated from a famous university came to the interview, the major is quite right, and the conditions are good in all aspects, but after I handed her resume to the boss, the boss refused on the spot." ”

I said, "What else do you boss pick for such a perfect person?" ”

"Because the girl's name is not good," he said. ”

I said, "And what's her name?" ”

Liang Tsai Min said: "Chang Jiaxin. ”

4. My colleague bought a new car and is happily driving home.

An old man stopped him and said, "Young man, your car consumes a lot of fuel for 100 kilometers!" ”

When he looked back, he saw that less than one liter of peanut oil was left in the 5 liters of peanut oil in the back seat of the bicycle.

When did it scratch? Holy damn it!

A classic joke told by GIs

1.Mom, is Coke expensive? No, that stuff is cheap. Oh good, I just spilled a bottle of Coke on my dad's. On the notebook, fortunately it's not expensive.

2.Everyone else gives roses to girls, but I don't want to fall into the cliché, I would like to give you a cactus that I have cultivated with my own hands, and say three words to you: Sit on!

3.There was a child who liked to watch the ants move, and when he was in class, he pointed back to the dates and said, "Teacher, I went to see the ants move again just now."

The teacher teaches English and wants to test him: "Let me ask you, what do ants say?" Huh?

Ant? The ants didn't say anything. "

4.When I was a child, I wrote a diary, the teacher prescribed more than 200 words, at that time in a group of four, there was a group leader to check the number of words, a brother in the same group of me wrote: "Today my mother asked me to go out to buy vegetables, I asked how much is a pound, the vegetable seller said 5 points, I said that I was funny

It's really cheap, it's really cheap, it's really cheap, it's really cheap, it's cheap, it'......s cheap, it'The team leader counted and there were still 4 words missing, so Brother Ren added another sentence at the end: "It's really cheap." ”

After the police arrived. Constable A: What a serious car accident.

Officer B: yes, I hit my head in the back. Constable A:

Well, and breathing, let's help him turn his head back.