Tell a few funny jokes, thank you, tell me the funniest joke

One day, a policeman questioned a gangster.

Police: "Say, what is the tattoo on your arm?!" ”

Gangster: "Two dragons play with pearls." ”

Police: "Say it again! ”

Bad: "Pi Phi Shrimp plays basketball (quietly)...

Hahahahaha

Today is my 18th birthday, because of the holiday and a group of sisters squandered, but the result is shy. I can't help it, so I flatteringly serve tea to my parents in the morning. As a result, my father decisively picked up his wallet, looked at me with a wary face, and asked, "How much is a cup?" ”

I went to the second-hand market to buy a bicycle, but the boss said that there was no stock, so he took me to a supermarket to park the bicycle and said: Which one do you like, I will help you unlock it.

Once upon a time there was a mountain, and there was a temple in the mountain, and there was a monk in the temple...

There was a pig that ran into someone else's backyard -- hahahaha. Wish.

There was a eunuch once upon a time

Modern, Ancient? What about a long time ago?

A woman got off the night shift, a man followed the plot, the woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, I'm back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.

The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbery fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, NND, they carved my name wrong...The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.

The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to steal business with me, and be tender..."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said: "You are looking for death!"

Changing the house number of my house. The old man is rolling down the hill! At this moment, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "Damn, it takes so much money to make a piece of iron."

Chen Ou's "Salt" article (adapted from Jumei's advertisement):

You only see my weight, but you don't see my efforts, you have your muscles, I have my belly, you laugh at me for not having thin legs and hands that are not strong enough to eat and drink, I pity you for lacking the pleasure of **, you can despise our figure, we will prove whose time this is, **is destined to be a painful trip, the road is full of** out of shape with the body, but so what? Even if you are hungry and dizzy, you have to be dizzy and stylish, I am fat, and I speak for myself.

You only taste the deliciousness of the food, but you don't smell my sweat. You have your rules, I have my choices. You laugh at me for having nothing and not being worthy of cooking, and I pity you for always waiting for food.

You can despise the dishes I make, and I will prove whose era this is. Cooking is destined to be a lonely trip, and doubts and ridicule are indispensable on the way. But so what, even if there is no salt in the kitchen, you have to make a good dish.

I'm Chen Ou, I bring salt for myself!

Someday. Chen Ou took the staff to dinner. After the dish is served. It is said that the taste is too light, and you have to find the boss theory. I saw Chen Ou lightly shake off his bangs and take out a packet of salt from his bag. Said. I'm Chen Ou. I bring salt for myself.

You only see Gintama's spoof, but you don't see Gintama's bonds. You have your girly manga, and I have my hot blood. You laugh at me nc, I pity you for not knowing how to feel.

You can despise our madness, and we will prove that this is the age of Gintama. Falling in love with Gintama is definitely the point of no return, and the test of empty knowledge and the production team is indispensable on the way. But so what, even if it's over, you have to chase it beautifully.

We are Gintama fans, and we speak for Gintamus.

Ten people went to the restaurant to eat and ordered a plate of ten bastards, but the chef put one less. When the waiter brought the dishes up, one of them went out to hit **, only to see the waiter say: "Why are there only nine bastards, one is missing".

On the bus, an elementary school student took a winter vacation homework book and said to his mother: Mom, I have too much homework during the winter vacation! His mother took it and flipped through a few pages, then tore up the homework book and threw it out the window.

A carload of people and elementary school students were dumbfounded. I just listened to his mother's chic words, the teacher asked, you said, Mom and Dad fought, Mom tore up the homework book!

At the dinner party in the company hotel, 6 staff arrived first, and a little later, the manager came.

A clerk: Waiter, tea.

Waiter, sir, a total of bits.

Staff A: Tell you to pour tea.

Waiter: Oh, it's still 7 sir.

Staff A: Tell you to pour tea, what do you count?

Waiter: I'm a dog, is there a problem, sir?

Clerk A is angry: Call your manager over!

The manager of the restaurant came, and staff member A told the manager about the conversation just now.

Restaurant Manager: I'm sorry sir, she's just here and doesn't know how to be polite, but she's a dog.

…To be done.

A friend asked me if I usually drink yogurt and lick the lid when I drink a cup of sour, and I said lick. He tore off the cover and said to me, "Then you can lick it for me!" ”