Why are children and parents prone to quarrels during the epidemic? 30

During the pandemic, your parents and you were all at home. If there are too many people, there will definitely be some contradictions there, and if there are opinions, they will naturally be impetuous, and it will be easier to quarrel.

Due to the epidemic, many parents have to take on the role of teachers at home, and they are already anxious to tutor their children to do homework at night, not to mention the online teaching now, and it is really angry to watch their children's learning status every day.

The first is the child's learning state, due to the recent online teaching, so the child is not attentive enough in the process of learning, often distracted to do some other things, and after we see this scene, it is likely to associate the child's learning state in school, and sometimes even think that their own efforts are like meat buns beating dogs.

We can think about it from another angle, even when we are working from home, we can't be as efficient as in the company, since as an adult can't control ourselves well, then how do we ask our children? Of course, we can push each other with our children, instead of playing by ourselves, and instruct our children to learn and lead by example.

The second is that the child is not very obedient, habitually will quarrel with us, because the child was in school a lot of time before, so usually less communication, and get along with each other for a long time, we will also see some bad habits of the child, so as parents we can't help but say a few words to the child, and the child will can't help but come back, which may eventually cause a quarrel.

When we see the bad things about our children, we can think about what are the causes of these problems? What do we need to do is how to guide the child with kindness, rather than forcing the child to do something?

Finally, it is our own emotional problems, we don't go out for so long, and we have to face some trivial things at home every day, especially when some small conflicts break out at home, our hearts will become restless, and we feel that everything is not going well, and it is easy to quarrel with others.

We can give each other a little freedom to do our own thing, and the family can also negotiate to do some small games and do some housework together, so that each other has a clear division of labor and responsibilities.

When I first came home, my parents thought that you must not eat well and sleep well at school, and it was very hard, plus the parents of the students who lived in the school met once a week, so it was better for you to just have a holiday, but when you were at home, your bad habits were exposed, playing with mobile phones, watching TV, not doing housework, not doing homework, and your parents lost their temper with you out of hatred of iron and steel, and then of course you were not convinced, thinking that it was very hard at school, and you would be angry at home, and you would definitely not be convinced, so it was easy to quarrel.

During that period, people's hearts were already more impetuous, and they met every day, how could they not be annoyed? Both sides need to be calm.

It's been off for too long. Parents and children, not like ever.

In addition, people have been in contact with each other for a long time, and the places that are not easy to be compatible with each other are more likely to have problems, and they are irritable after a long time.

Inevitably quarrels.

Because they all eat and sleep at home, and when they eat when they sleep, they are prone to quarrels.

Because of the online class, the child does not listen carefully to the class, and does not know the urgency of time to play games in class. Or another cause.

After staying for a long time, I will naturally get bored.

The reason is that I stayed too long.

First, the child may have reached the rebellious period, the rebellious period of the child will be more or less irritable, this is a more common phenomenon, you can try to communicate patiently with the child, listen to their voices more, so they will let go of the prejudice in their hearts to communicate.

Second, parents may inflict verbal blows on their children, and the children's hearts are more fragile, and if they are hit a little, they will feel unbalanced, which leads to the children's misunderstanding of their parents, resulting in quarrels.

Third, it may be the child's own problem, for example, the parents asked her to do her homework, she was unwilling to go, this is the child's own phenomenon, at this time parents can try to communicate with the child more, resolve her unhappiness, as long as you patiently tell her, most children can still listen.

Fourth, it may be the parents' own reasons that make the child irritable, at this time, the parents should reflect on their own impact on the child, and then find a suitable opportunity to have more with the child.

Fifth, the child may suffer from irritability, irritability, at this time the child will be angry for no reason, or no one provokes him, he will lose his temper for no reason, these points are the precursors of irritability and irritability, there is such a phenomenon, it is recommended to go to the hospital to see.

When parents and children quarrel, it means that there is a communication problem between them, the parents do not understand what the child thinks, and the children do not understand what the parents think.

The main problem is communication, and this situation will only occur if there is no good communication between each other.

This is mainly a lack of reason and communication, mutual understanding.

Lack of communication, true understanding, putting yourself in their shoes.

The epidemic has been going on for a while, and conflicts between parents and children are difficult to avoid, mainly in the following aspects:

1. Contradictions caused by space conflicts.

In this special period, the family has been in the same room for a long time, not going to work or school, and there is no way to go out to find another environment at this time, and the spatial boundary has been broken for a long time, which is accompanied by greater relationship stickiness and psychological boundaries are also easy to violate.

Some of the contradictions are caused by border violations. Anger and conflict ensued. The recent hit "Embarrassing Mother" also discusses the border conflict between the mother and son. At this special moment of the epidemic, if there is a quarrel with each other, it becomes very uncomfortable.

On the one hand, we need to focus on building borders.

On the other hand, we see that external pressure tends to improve internal cohesion, and in this special period, we will listen more carefully to each other. We can talk to each other about boundaries with our children, and see if each other's things are a little "out of bounds", and when we "cross the line" ourselves.

2. Conflict of life rules.

Everyone in the family has their own routine, and those who work from home and take online classes are different now.

Children like to go to bed late, parents like to get up early, and in the past, they were supported by their work units and schools, but now they all rely on each other's "supervision".

It is easy for each other to evaluate each other's living habits and work and rest rules, which can lead to conflicts.

Families are encouraged to make a shared time and task list, trying to be as clear as possible about our respective parts.

3. Contradictions caused by inconsistent evaluations of learning efficiency.

During online classes, parents discuss the most whether their children's online classes are efficient.

Parents are advised to do the following:

Clause. 1. Cultivate children's regular work and rest. Make a schedule and check your child's homework at the right time.

Clause. 2. Out of sight is pure. To put it another way, these real scenes are actually played out in schools every day, but you don't see them. Children are growing up healthy and strong, and the knowledge they should learn is not left behind.

Clause. 3. Learn to let go. Don't always hold on tightly to the child, sometimes loosen it a little, and you will find that the children with celery can be their own masters. So, now that you're back in work, focus on your work.

First, you can choose to let other people communicate with your child, and the communication effect will be better.

The second is to adjust yourself, and when you are impatient, you can remind yourself by counting your pulse, taking deep breaths, and calling "stop" in your head to calm down your emotions, and then observe how others react to your child's behavior. Reflect and summarize afterwards to see what kind of approach is the most rational and reasonable.

During the epidemic, parents and children are prone to conflicts, which is more, such as children do not listen to their parents, always play games, or parents blame their children for not washing the bowls, not sweeping the floor, and even the children are not up at night and do not get up to eat breakfast, such things will also make some parents angry. In short, there are too many hardships. Wait....

On the surface, parents are expressing dissatisfaction with things like their children playing games, however, the deeper reason is that parents have high expectations for their children, and children feel that they are not cared for and valued. At home, children are accustomed to being taken care of by their parents, according to inertia, children's psychology is eager for parental care, and if the child was not at home for a long time, the parents have long been accustomed to the lifestyle of the child's absence.

We know that forming new habits can be painful in the early stages, so parent-child conflict is inevitable.

So what to do? When we are angry, we can show our truest side, we can express our feelings and needs directly, and when we try to do this, you will find that we will not hold grudges in our hearts and we will no longer be afraid of conflict, because a strong sense of trust will be formed between you, and you will no longer be afraid of conflict, because conflict is a way to help you achieve your desires.

You will find that conflict also begins to become a catalyst in the development of your relationship, and you no longer quarrel for the sake of arguing, but start fighting for happiness.

First, the expectations of both sides are different.

What parents expect from their children is that they want their children to be obedient and do things according to their parents' ideas.

What children expect from their parents is that they should be considerate of me and let me choose freely. Adult children who have always longed for the approval of their parents are often rejected by their parents.

Therefore, the expectations of both sides are different, and the reactions that occur in the event of a collision will also be different. And because they are relatives, both parties take it for granted that the other changes the other, and when both are rejected, the conflict occurs.

Second, there is a generation gap between parents and children.

Due to the different environments in which our parents and we grew up, and our values are also different, the communication thinking of the two generations is often not on the same channel. This has led to a generation gap.

Young people have a stronger ability to accept new things and pretend to be ants, for example, they like to surf the Internet, and they use WeChat and QQ to communicate with people. And most parents' values are already fixed, for example, like to watch TV and play **.

Relatively speaking, changes in parents' values do not happen overnight.

Third, both parents and children want each other's approval.

Whether it's a parent or a child, we all want to be approved by the other party.

In the modern educational environment, we feel that right and wrong are so important that if the other person disagrees with our opinion, we feel that we are being denied. As if he had done something wrong, in order to prove that he was right, he kept arguing with the other party, and in the end, he deviated from his original intention and became an argument about right and wrong.

Fourth, once the pattern of communication is formed, it is difficult to change.

Many adult children often have conflicts with their parents, which on the surface seems to be disagreement, but in fact it is also related to the lack of such pleasant communication experiences in childhood.

For example, when Xiaoling was a child, as soon as she didn't do a good job, her parents severely criticized her and accused her. As a result, in adulthood, certain similar situations arise, and the painful and unpleasant emotions of childhood are aroused, so quarrels are inevitable.

There are actually many reasons for this, such as firewood, rice, oil and salt. The pressure on all aspects of emotional work is relatively high, and if it breaks out, there will be quarrels.

Question: They divorced nine years ago, five years old, the first time I saw them quarrel, from that day on, they would quarrel over trivial things, when I was young, I couldn't do anything, I just cried, I don't know what's wrong with it now, I remember it again, how to get rid of bad mood?

You already have memories at that time.

The past is gone, and you look forward.

Quarrels are not a person's business, quarrels are caused by parents who are uncomfortable to speak, and generally speaking, their quarrels must be because of some contradictions. When you grow up, you will also find that people will always quarrel because of some small conflicts, which is a normal thing, so you don't worry too much, it may be that their quarrels have some impact on your life.

Why do parents quarrel? I think it's normal for parents to quarrel, every family will not quarrel at all, but the reason for the quarrel must be clear, and you must not quarrel for a little thing, some parents have different concepts, so it is also a mistake to come together, but to quarrel for a little thing, such a family is really troublesome, but there is no way, since they are together, a small quarrel and can not go through the divorce procedures, and having children can only be settled.

There are many reasons why parents quarrel. First of all, the important point is that the two people have not learned to communicate well. There is also personality reasons. The important point is that the lack of understanding is also the main source of Taoism.

Two people have lived together for a long time, more or less there will be some contradictions, parents often have different opinions for family trivialities, and if they don't handle it well, there will be contradictions, and they will quarrel.