Why is it easy to get angry with your loved ones, and why you lose your temper with your loved ones

Because you know they won't really hate you.

First of all, because losing our temper with our loved ones is because we feel that our loved ones will not abandon us and that it is safe.

Second, it's not that you can't do it, it's that you really don't understand why you're doing it. Every time you erupt, there are a lot of things hidden behind us that we can't see. Only by understanding these dismantling circles and re-reading what we want to express behind our tantrums can we truly deal with our emotions effectively.

So, how to control your temper and not leave the bad temper to the people closest to you.

Step 1: Be aware of your emotions.

Be aware of the emotions that arise at that moment, such as the changes in your body: shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, clenched fists, angry eyes, dry throats, etc., are all manifestations of rising anger. Be aware of a noticeable physical change in yourself and tell yourself that your anger is here at this moment.

By letting go of external things, you will have the opportunity to become aware of your inner emotions.

The second step is to accept your emotions.

When you see your emotions, don't deny them, accept them. Tell yourself that an emotion is a kind reminder or it can also be an unexpressed need, an unfulfilled wish, that it is real, to soothe your emotions. When emotions are seen and accepted, and there is no resistance, they will not explode so easily.

The third step is to see the meaning behind the emotion.

Ask yourself, "Why am I irritated or angry at my partner for acting like this?" "The moment you ask this question, in fact, you will go from being dissatisfied with your husband to returning to your heart, and you will realize that you actually have a good wish for yourself, and this wish hopes that your husband can accompany you to complete it, so you will have an expectation for your husband and expect your husband to cooperate with you.

The fourth step is to express your emotions.

This step is actually quite difficult to do. Because most people, since childhood, habitually suppressed and neglected to deal with their emotions, will not express their emotions in a reasonable way. The outburst of emotions is actually a strong expression of too many long-suppressed emotions accumulated to a certain extent.

<> is accommodating because it is familiar. We know how much the other person can tolerate, so no matter how much we try to do it, we will not step beyond theirs. We do this because they can tolerate us and know the truth behind the superficial lie of our tantrums.

In the face of all kinds of situations in life, we all know that we have the ability to choose. You can be furious, complain, or even blame everyone for an unfortunate event, but things won't change in the slightest. Unfortunately, it will continue to accompany you in the rest of your life, and let you live with a lifetime of pain.

Family is the most welcoming environment for us. When we are wronged outside, we will go home and often vent. In such an environment that stimulates psychological security, it is easy for us to forget how to speak well, and to use unpleasant language to our family members.

Our biggest mistake is to give our worst temper and worst side to those closest to us, but to give patience and tolerance to others, even strangers.

People tend to lose their temper with people close to them for the following reasons:

1.After getting along for a long time, the individual is very sure of his image in the hearts of his relatives, so he does not have a strong motivation to create a persona, and the tantrum will not damage the image too much or lose confidence in the improvement of the inherent bad image, then "break the jar and break it".

2.Blood ties give people a great sense of security, and subconsciously believe that relatives will not abandon them unless they have to, so parents lose their temper with their children and children lose their temper with their parents is the most common, and this kind of love forged by blood will not be easily lost due to tantrums.

3.I am relatively familiar with the personality and reaction style of my loved ones, and I can anticipate the reaction of my relatives when I lose my temper, and I don't have to worry about unexpected punishment, so I usually "find a soft persimmon to pinch". Usually you have to pretend to be polite outside, if you don't do this, it's easy to not be able to eat and walk around.

And back at home, it is too convenient for family members to become a channel for catharsis, and there is no need to be responsible and do not shy away from it, and it is rare***. Xiangliang.

4.Warm communication skills are not established, and only connect with loved ones in a temper-raising and amusing way, which is a subconscious non-adaptive attempt to solve problems.

5.Temper tantrums symbolize closeness and honesty, and politeness will be regarded as distance and life, so people have the sayings of "rejoicing in enemies", "living a life of noisy and noisy" and "beating is scolding and loving".

6.Socially and professionally wronged, they dare not stand up to their bosses and authorities, so they transfer their anger against outsiders to their relatives and play tricks at home.

Why do people always save their worst tempers for those closest to them. As the saying goes, clay figurines also have earthy nature. Each of us has our own little temper, and in the process of interacting with others, we will find an interesting phenomenon, that is, when we associate with people who are more distant, the better our temper will become, and when we associate with people who are closer to our children, our temper will become worse.

The reason why this situation occurs is that when we interact with people we don't know, we don't dare to fully release our feelings and relationships, we can have no scruples when we associate with people close to us, and when we are hurt, we will vent in front of our closest people and dissatisfaction with these three reasons.

First, when interacting with unfamiliar people, we dare not be sufficient, and we will be cautious in releasing feelings, and when we interact with unfamiliar people, we do not dare to fully release our feelings in front of each other because of our unfamiliar people, but we will be careful for fear of making the other party angry and hurting ourselves because of our bad performance. Because of this, we tend to have a good temper when we interact with strangers, and we don't have seizures even if we are unhappy.

Second, in front of the people closest to us, we have no scruples and can fully reveal our true feelings. When you interact with the person closest to you, because the other party is the person closest to you, you know each other best, therefore, you will have no scruples, dare to fully show your feelings, if you have something unhappy, you will show it unreservedly, even if the other party is unhappy, you are not afraid, it is for this reason that we are in contact with the person closest to us. It's easy to lose your temper.

Third, when we are hurt, we tend to vent our dissatisfaction in front of the people we know best. Learn sail ruler work in everyday life. We will encounter all kinds of unsatisfactory things, and we don't dare to say or do anything in front of outsiders about these things that make us unhappy?

I can only hold the sedan chair in my heart, but when we are with the closest people, we can vent our dissatisfaction without scruples. Unleashing all the grievances you have suffered will bring harm to your closest people, which is the most fundamental reason why you always give your bad temper to those closest to you.