What impact will too much parental love have on children?

The love of fathers and mothers for their children can be said to be wholeheartedly dedicated to their children. Parents are always worried about whether they are giving enough to their children and never question whether their love for their children is excessive. Many parents don't realize that sometimes excessive love can also be a burden on their children.

A friend once told the story of a relative of his family. She has an older brother, the family conditions are average, and her parents are ordinary working people. This brother usually has mediocre academic performance and no outstanding performance.

Occasionally, her brother took the first place in the class, and the adults in the family were very happy to find out. I feel like my child will achieve a lot in the future. I urge them to study hard every day, telling them that I will give up on you if I sell the iron in the pot.

Usually don't worry about anything else, just study with peace of mind, and leave the rest to your parents.

But her brother, because of his parents' efforts, feels a lot of pressure and often worries about the situation of his parents and family. He was afraid that his parents would really "sell iron pots" for himself, in case he could not meet his parents' expectations and would not be able to face it. Under this heavy pressure and worry, not only did he not achieve better and better grades as his parents expected, but his grades were not as good as before, and his mentality was very anxious.

We can understand the ardent hope and love of parents for their children, even if they eat bran vegetables, they should give their children the best. Pin all your unattainable hopes and expectations on your children.

1.Let the child be too stressed, and the parents' love for "selling iron in the pot" is often attached to the child with unattainable hopes and expectations. Parents' high expectations can put a lot of pressure on their children, and they can hurt them far more than their parents' love.

Children can become vulnerable. Once something doesn't meet the expectations of the parents, it can lead to deep guilt and guilt that can easily overwhelm the child. Or because the burden is too heavy, they have a rebellious mentality, and use rebellious behavior to get rid of the pressure and burden on themselves.

This is something that parents don't want to see.

2.Let the child lack a "sense of boundaries" Parents blindly focus on their children and pay for their children, which may make children lose their "sense of boundaries". Omnipotent parents tend to raise incompetent children.

Parents' meticulous care and care for their children, leaving all resources to their children, will give children the illusion that they deserve it. And this illusion of lack of "sense of boundaries", after the child leaves his parents to care about society, there is nothing to hide in front of everyone, loser.

After all, it's still a child.

If the love of parents is too heavy, it will bring certain psychological pressure to the growth of children, and even produce rebellion and fear, which will affect the development of children's physical and mental health. I think that parents are the most beloved relatives of children, and don't let love become a burden, crush children, or even betray relatives.

Some people say that the best parental love is to be able to watch the child drift away, that is to say, the love of parents should be able to make the child independent and form a perfect personality. If the parent's love is too heavy, it can leave the child immature, lose independence, feel controlled, lose control over his or her own life, be depressed, and fail to experience a sense of accomplishment.

If the parent's love is too heavy, it will give the child a very bad impression that he is wearing physically and mentally, for example, it will make the child live a very depressed life every day, and it will make the child dare not express his true thoughts.

After doing this, the child will not rely too much on his parents, will make the child lose his hobby for interests, and will not dare to express his thoughts when he grows up, without friends, the child's emotions will become very sensitive, and will always be very dedicated to feelings, but will be hurt.

Heavy love will lead to a lot of pressure in the child's heart, and the personality will also be depressed, and after a long time, there will be some mental illness, and it will be difficult to live a good life.

It is a very normal thing for parents to give love to their children, but when they give love to their children, they should also be moderate, if they give too much, it will become doting, which is very bad for children, and it will also allow themselves to be devoured in reverse. Parents give their children too much love from an early age, and spoil their children too much, which will make them become selfish and selfish, and will become particularly irritable, regardless of the feelings of their parents. <>

1. Children will become selfish

When the child is young, if the parents give the child too much love, obey the child, do everything according to the child's needs and requirements, and put the child at the center of the family, the child will feel that everything he gets is deserved, and the parent should give everything to his child will become, know how to enjoy, and not know how to be grateful. Such children may not be too filial to their parents when they grow up, and even when they get along with others, they will be very self-reliant, and they don't know how to be humble when they are with their parents, and they don't know how to repay their parents. <>

Second, it is easy to get angry

Parents spoil their children too much, and they will make them feel that they are omnipotent at home, and they hope that their parents can meet any needs they have. Such children are accustomed to letting others meet their own needs in life, so when their own needs are not met, they will become particularly irritable and angry. When you can't get something, or when you don't like it, you lose your temper, and then your personality becomes more and more willful.

3. Lack of independent ability

Parents give their children too much love, which seems to be loving their children, but in fact it is very bad for children, which will make children lose their independence, have no ability to do it themselves, and will also become unself-disciplined. After the child steps into the society by himself, he may become incapable of hands-on ability and independence, unwilling to pay, and does not know how to pay, unable to take care of himself, so he can only go home and continue to gnaw on the old, bringing a heavy burden to his parents.

Parents give their children too much love will spoil their children, let them lose their independence in the process of growing up, and will also make children lose autonomy in the process of growing up, which will make children very dependent on their parents, lazy to do, and children are not self-motivated in the process of growing up, and they are not filial to their parents, and they feel that the love given by their parents is taken for granted.

Parents give their children too much love will lead to children having no sense of responsibility, lack of independence, poor self-control, no own opinions, poor ability to resist pressure, and children feel that the world is beautiful and cannot withstand any setbacks.

Giving too much love to children will make children feel that their parents' love is taken for granted, and will not reciprocate their parents' love, and it will also make children develop willful habits.

Every father and mother want their children to be happy, and every parent also wants their children to grow up healthy and happy. So in life, as parents, we all want to give our best love to our children. But in our lives, a lot of love can also hurt our children, but parents don't think so.

First of all, it's all about it.

In life, in fact, we will see a lot of little emperors and princesses who "come to their hands and open their mouths". In the lives of these children, many things are taken care of by their parents. Parents may feel that their children are still young and can't do anything well, so they help their children do a lot of things.

For example, some small things in life: washing the child's socks, helping the child to tidy up the housework, etc. Parents may think that such a small thing is nothing, but invisibly, their own "doting" will ruin their children.

Taking care of everything will make children feel that these things are what parents should do, and it will also form a lazy psychology for children. When I was young, I felt nothing, but when I grew up, I found that this kind of love I found was actually hurting my child.

Second, make decisions for you.

There are many parents in life who love to make decisions for their children, and many parents feel that they have more life experience than their children, so they make decisions for their children in many things, and they have not considered their children's thoughts at all. In fact, children are also independent individuals, they all have their own ideas and independent personalities. In many things, we have to respect the child's own cognition, respect the child, and respect the child's ideas.

As parents, we should not feel that we are right, and many times when it is time for our children to make decisions, we must let them make decisions. Otherwise, the child will become without a backbone, and many times he will not have his own judgment in the face of major rights and wrongs.

Therefore, in life, many times, what our parents think is good love for their children is not necessarily really good for their children. Many times we have to think seriously and not hurt our children with our so-called love.

Often suppress children, or do not respect children, cramming love, unfounded and side-by-side love of the limbs, excessive protection of children, do not know how to respect children's privacy, such love will make children rebellious.

Parents always want to enroll their children in tutoring classes, although in order to make their children's academic performance better, but this kind of love will dissipate the burden on the child and make the child more stressed. Parents force their children to study at home and do not let Kai Sou go out to play, fearing that they will meet bad people outside with their children. This also restricts the child's freedom, and this love makes the child feel less confident.

Doting, even the first servant makes decisions for the child, Lao Lun manages the child's interpersonal communication, does not let the child go out by himself, does not let the child control money, these loves will hurt the child and quarrel.

I think it's very important, especially for children. In family life, parents should know how to express their love to their children in a timely manner. There are actually many benefits of expressing love, and here I will tell you one by one that there are two benefits of expressing love.

Clause. 1. Build your child's self-confidence.

Parents can express their love to their children, so that their children's hearts can be filled with love, and at the same time, they will pass on this love to the people around them. It is precisely because of love that children's self-confidence will become stronger and stronger, so as to become more positive, sunny and upward.

Some parents think that there is no need to say love to their children, and besides, they are very busy every day, so how can they have time to take care of this. In fact, it really doesn't take long to express love to the child, a greeting before going to bed, a hug at the usual time, is to convey love to the child, which really doesn't take much time.

When children get more love from you, their hearts will become positive and optimistic, and their self-confidence will become stronger and stronger, which is very beneficial to their growth.

Clause. 2. Relieve bad emotions.

In life or study, children will often encounter some bad emotional influences, and at this time they will hide in self-denial. At this time, if parents express their love to their children, then the children can get out of such a state under the comfort of their parents.

Many children will encounter some difficulties in life and learning, and these difficulties will make children sometimes have bad emotions.

At this time, parents should help them to counsel, especially when children encounter difficulties, parents must tell them that parents will always love them and will stand by their side. If you talk too much like this, the child's bad mood will naturally be lifted.

People say that parental love is the most selfless, but is that really the case? In fact, the love of many parents is not completely selfless, but mixed with a lot of their own selfishness. There are many parents of children around me who always impose their own ideas on their own children and let their children fulfill their wishes that they cannot fulfill.

For example, parents can't get into college, but they hope that their children can fulfill their desire to go to a prestigious university. So why do parents expect their children to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes?

First of all, parents feel that their children are a continuation of themselves, and they have an obligation to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes. There has been such a saying in China since ancient times, such as Yugong moving mountains. When Yu Gong moved the mountain by himself, someone asked him what to do if he died, and Yu Gong said that he would have his descendants after he died.

From this story, it is not difficult to see that the educational concept of Chinese parents has been like this since ancient times, so there is a reason why parents always hope that their children will complete their unfulfilled wishes.

Secondly, parents feel that their mission can only be completed if their offspring are better. For most parents, they hope that their children can become better, change their current class, and go to a higher class to live. Chinese parents have a natural sense of responsibility for their children, and no matter how old their children are, they want their children to be within their control.

Therefore, there are many children who have to listen to their parents when looking for a job, and they also have to listen to their parents when looking for a partner. Parents felt that they didn't become a singer, so they ignored the child's wishes and cultivated the child in the acting career. There are a lot of things like that.

Personally, I think that parents are right to love their children, but in the right way, don't impose your own ideas on your children, so that the children will be very unhappy.