Pattern Recognition Why do we all like to label others?

He's not social, and he's going to dinner to be rejected."

She's not a risk-taker, so she's not going to do it."

I have procrastination, that's why I don't write until the end."

You see, we don't just like to label others, we also like to label ourselves, so why do we enjoy it so much?

Harvard psychologist David Parkinson's research proves that people generally choose their position first, and then look for evidence to support their position.

It's no wonder that people always want to find out why things are going on, and they find reasons when there is no reason.

We tend to rationalize and give ourselves explanations that make sense to us, which is the most common psychological defense mechanism in humans, so it's no wonder we love labeling so much.

What are the benefits of labeling? It allows us to classify quickly, reduce thinking and save time. Just because it is so easy to use, everyone often distances itself from the disadvantages of labeling.

We often judge what kind of person a person is because of a certain behavior, and when we put a label on it, we will continue to look for "evidence" to prove our opinion, and finally the impression will be solidified.

For example, is the "bad student" in the eyes of some teachers really a bad student? But once the teacher has this impression, the prejudice against the student will further affect his behavior.

Isn't that scary enough?

Of course, if you see this, you can also use this to "set up a person", if we want to tear off the label in the eyes of others, think about the fact that as long as you do something that does not conform to the logic of the other party's label, it will make others change.

It seems to be a common problem for most people, especially someone like me who is a teacher by profession, but for a long time in my long career, I didn't know it, I didn't look at myself, I was self-righteous, and I proudly flaunted myself as an unbiased, even-handed person.

Until one day, my son was in trouble at school, and he came home and asked me, "Are your teachers biased against students based on academic performance?" "My first reaction was:

There is no wow, learning is not equal to his comprehensive level, most teachers have no prejudice, there are students with good character, students with good character, students with bad character, students with good character, and ...... with poor learning and characterI gushed a long way, and my son stared at me in disbelief and said, "You divide students into four categories, isn't that labeling?" And are you sure that deep down you don't judge them for their grades?

My son's words made me think deeply, am I completely unlabeled with the people around me? Am I not judging? Am I not biased?

It's always been, but I don't dare admit it. There are even times when I keep learning and embarking on a path of spiritual growth as a talisman, looking down on those who have not practiced, constantly labeling, judging, and adding a "I'm slow" ......This is me, Mr. Nan Huaijin said that he used eight words to evaluate himself as "useless, nothing good", and compared to how ignorant he is......

For many students, I often think that that person is always what he is, and even subconsciously thinks that he can only be like that, and even labels himself ......Jiang Fangzhou once said in "The Shell of the Spirit" that she had given up her ...... of rebellion against labelsIt can be seen how stubborn this habit is that most people are born with. How difficult it is to stop judging because just spending a few minutes with someone makes it tempting to start judging them, let alone for a whole day.

Behind the labeling of blaming others and oneself so often is horror, anger, guilt, and attachment to pain. For most of his life, he is like a robot, reacting to the words and actions of others according to the "one in two, either/or, black and white" program. It's not easy to stop them, even though I've been trying to practice.

There was a time when I was the enemy of this habit, but as Krishnamurti said, you can't fight against habits, you only fight them, all you have to do is admit it, accept it, calm your mind and observe your thoughts. When I made up my mind to wake up every morning and filter out everything but love, when the chattering referee in my heart appeared, I said to myself, "I fully accept and love you for who you are."

I know I'm going to be good and bad, but I'm going to keep practicing.

We often make our first impression of someone within 30 seconds of seeing them, and it is difficult to change them unless we continue to have a deep relationship. And where do these impressions come from? It has to do with our education and experience.

However, this stereotype from education and experience is often incorrect.

If this is not true, why does the brain actively form these incorrect stereotypes? There are three reasons for this:

1. It's a survival experience against fear

Each of us is very small, and we can die for various reasons anytime and anywhere. That's why we spend our lives avoiding risk and fighting fear. These stereotypes, to some extent, become a risk-averse experience that lowers our fears.

For example, if you drive a few times and find that the road killer is a woman, you will be more careful when you see a woman driving to avoid the traffic accidents that may be caused by this.

2. A way to compete in a group

People have a natural tendency to divide others into "in-group" and "out-group". When resources are scarce, we tend to close group boundaries, favor those within the group, and discriminate against those outside the group. Because when we belong to a certain group, this feeling makes us feel very secure and makes us feel stronger when dealing with external competition.

So, this explains that when people are on our side and don't agree with us, we get very panicked and desperate to find a group that we can relate to.

For example, if you are a Beijing hukou and are told that as a Beijinger, you cannot be admitted to Peking University because Peking University has opened more places to non-local students than in the past, and at this time, you are more likely to support Peking University to reduce the number of places to admit non-local students.

3. Convenient social interaction

We often treat others differently: we often see the familiar as a person with a personality, and we tend to categorize the unfamiliar.

For example, you would describe Americans as casual, free, and creative, and French as romantic, arrogant, and enjoying life.

Because we are not familiar with other groups, we tend to think that they are homogeneous. Even though they are different individuals, subconsciously, you still put them in the same category.

This is easy to understand, if we are the post-80s, it is easy to put a lot of labels on the post-90s, but not for the post-80s, because for the people in the group, we recognize diversity.

In the final analysis, people like to label themselves in order to have a sense of "security".

For labeling, I think this should be an instinct or nature of people, I think I once watched a British drama Black Mirror in which there is an episode about this, which is to say that at some point in the future, everyone can have something similar to a smartphone to score everyone they meet, even if it is a stranger, and then everyone will socialize according to the score of this score, so the protagonist at this time is a person who always pays attention to his label, in fact, everyone is in such a state, pays attention to the opinions and evaluations of outsiders about herself, but then after the heroine messes up everything, his score becomes very low, and finally he is put in prison, and then she suddenly understands that it is a very bad thing to label the thing.

In fact, this story is telling us that in life, we tend to invisibly label others as good or bad, for those who have a good label, your attitude is kind, humble, and polite, but for those who you have a bad label, you feel that you should not have a good tone and a good attitude towards them, you will either ridicule or look down on them. So I think for this kind of behavior, sometimes people will say that this is the world, this is the principle of being a sleek person, and I think that it is very one-sided and bad to give people to death because of a single label.

Personally, I think that those who have a good label are not necessarily good, and those who have a bad label are not necessarily useless, so please don't be so simple when looking at people.