What should I do if I hate my parents so much?

Since the past can't be changed, why complain, when you have a child, you love it in your own way, but when he reaches your age and is like you now, how will you feel?

In the eyes of others, I am a girl with a harmonious family and a good family. But, haha, it's not. My father was very patriarchal, and when he was a child, he said to me, you are a son, you will pick all the stars in the sky, and you are a daughter, and you will not be given to eat.

He can give my cousin a lot of money, but I will be beaten for even a dollar.

I hate my parents, if you don't have love anymore, why don't you get a divorce? Why do you say to me that you don't get a divorce for the sake of your children? If you want a son, why not have another one?

Afraid of family planning fines? Wouldn't it be better if you strangled me at the time, or threw me away and sold me? Is it my fault that the gender is female?

Is it necessary to dislike me openly and secretly? My dad drank, sometimes he was in a bad mood, and when he was drunk, he would scold me, because he was drunk and scolded me, and I ran away from home several times.

I'm a junior in college, financially independent, and I've been able to give my brother and my mom an occasional living allowance (my parents will reach out to me for money). With a boyfriend who loves me, I think I'll graduate in a year and a half soon, and I'll be fine. Because of my upbringing, I could never afford to pay tuition from elementary school to high school.

All kinds of big and small things have turned me into a person with low self-esteem in my bones, because I am often kicked out of the house by my parents, and I am also very insecure. This will be a flaw for the rest of my life, and I will never forget these same things. I think I'll always hate them, forever and ever.

Nothing particularly big for parents. I want to say, thank you for giving me food, as for the word "nurturing", forget it. If I hadn't been born, I would have thanked you for eighteen generations!

You always say that when I was a child, my conditions were not good, so I never gave me anything, in fact, I really want to say that love needs to be material? I grew up in a violent environment, and I didn't feel loved. It's not about being poor.

Acknowledging their unlove or inability to love is the only way to free oneself from the cage of self-loathing (what child who hates his parents doesn't hate himself for hating his parents?). Only then can they have the ability to accept their emotions and feelings, so that they do not constantly deny themselves like they do, but begin to learn how to love themselves. It's a hard, maybe lifelong, lesson.

Until we finally grow up, maybe one day, we suddenly find that when we look at the old faces of our parents, what wells up in our hearts is not anger, but sadness, which is distress for our past selves, and pity and distress for them who don't know how to love and be loved. In order not to treat ourselves and our future children like them, we can only choose to work hard and be brave.