I m often angry about small things, how can I improve it? 3Q

I'll tell you a story:

Once upon a time, there was a very bad-tempered child, who liked to lose his temper with others no matter what, and there was no one.

Willing to play with him, he became more and more annoyed, so he went home and asked his father, "Dad, my temper is so bad, no children are willing to play with me, what should I do?" So his father said, "Well, if you get angry with someone in the future, you will put a nail in the stake at home" and then the child did this, and he nailed one every time he was born, and as the days went by, the stake was already full of nails, and one of them he came to his father and said, "Dad, you see that I have all nails on the stake, what should I do?"

Dad said: "From today on, if you want to be angry again, you can endure it, if you can endure it and not be angry, you can pull a nail from the stake, every time you endure it, pull out a nail" The child also did so, and after a while, the child found that he was less angry, and basically could hold back himself from being angry, and the nail on the stake was also pulled out, one day, he said to his father: "Dad, I don't love to be angry anymore, and the nail on the stake has been pulled out, But now the stake is full of holes left by the removal of nails, which is very unsightly," said the father, "child!

Whenever you lose your temper with someone, it's like you drive a nail into the stake, even if you hold back and pull it out, but there will still be ugly holes left in the stake, just like you have left a bad influence in the hearts of others, and such an impact cannot be healed by enduring it once or twice a day or two."

You are angry with others, and you are angry with yourself, it will cause a bad impact, people live for what, not for anger, everything has to be opened, try to climb the mountain, play with friends, don't think about those trivial things every day, so that the mind will be open-minded, and people will not be so bitter!

Take a deep breath for 6 seconds before speaking.

This is quite normal.

Many causes of anger are caused by small things.

And, for others, it's a trifle.

However, for the angry, it is a matter of principle.

For example, there is a gambler in the family.

Gambled all night and didn't go home.

This is no small matter for the family.

It is a principled event that will cause the destruction of the family and the death of the person.

However, for those gamblers who gamble together.

It's a whole little thing that can't be smaller.

Because they gamble together.

It was often a big battle for seven days and six nights.

If you don't go home all night, it's a drizzle.

It's not worth being angry about.

There are ways to make yourself angry with small things.

The will is resolute to nip in the bud those abnormal little things.

1. You can use the method of stopping, stop for three seconds when you are angry, think about why you are angry just now, why you want to be angry, can you think about the problem in a different way of thinking, and deal with it. 2. Ways to divert your attention. 3. You can talk to your family more, communicate more, understand different people's views on this matter, and look at the problem from multiple perspectives.

Work hard to make money and keep yourself busy.

People can attract each other, and naturally they can also repel each other. This is a normal psychological and physiological response. You can't avoid it, but remember not to be impulsive.

Everybody gets bored, no one is a saint, and you don't have to feel jealous when you get angry. But we should self-reflect on the behavior that occurs because of a small thing. In fact, when you also realize that you are making a big fuss, you have already grasped the limits of upbringing and stinginess, which is worthy of praise.

But because of this little thing, it brought me an unpleasant experience, and it was unfair to myself. I suggest that you start by quickly forcing yourself to shift your attention to something else, or quickly move away from someone or something that annoys you. This will help you calm down and avoid overdoing it.

Then the only grievances in your heart will disappear.

I've heard before that everyone has a cell in their genes as an exclusivity factor. It is a more metaphysical self-protection mechanism. In Denmark, people also consciously maintain a sense of distance between people, giving each other an independent space for themselves.

And after the bottom line of self-defense is crossed, you will feel disgusted with this person. Everyone's bottom line of self-defense is different, and when you cross this line, all tolerance will be covered up by the other party's shortcomings, so it seems that everyone's tolerance is different. Some people seem to be generous, while others seem to be stingy.

But even so, moderate people have untouchable bottom lines.

And you are angry at the unreasonableness of those who do not pay attention to their words and actions. The water splashing on the other side crosses the line and has contact with you, and you want this person to notice your recklessness and apologize to you. But you also realize that this is not a big deal in the first place, so you do not reprimand.

In fact, you have a good upbringing here.

Or shall I accompany you to talk?

Question: I get angry every day because of a little thing, I can't control that, there was a time today, I cooked a dozen people's meals, and then my husband said that I did too much, I wanted to get angry.

Not your problem.

It's the people around you who don't give you the recognition you deserve.

As soon as I got angry with the question, I mentioned some of the things my mother-in-law said to me, because my son was my mother-in-law, and now sometimes he is disobedient, and the teacher told me that I only knew, so I said my mother-in-law, and then she said that she couldn't manage it, and said that I can take care of it, and you can take care of it, and say something about betting on me, knowing that I can't go back.

In the past two years, I have not had a good relationship with my mother-in-law, and my temper has become bigger and bigger, and I am angry every day because of a little thing.

What do you say about asking questions, now it's just a little thing and you get angry, and afterwards you feel unnecessary, and you want to endure it next time you're angry, and you can't help it when it happens again.

I wonder if I'm manic or anxious.

That's what you can do to look at thyroid hormones.

You don't have to doubt, doubt doesn't do you any good.

You have to think about whether the people around you are treating you badly.

It could be that there is no major problem, and then there are just some symptoms.

This is actually the personality of some people, and there are several reasons why they often get angry because of some small things...

The first is the mentality of pursuing perfection in things, some people are more in pursuit of perfection, and feel that as long as something is not what they think in their hearts, they will be angry, followed by personality problems, some people are introverted, not good at communication, and have a rejection of others, so they are easy to get angry if they don't understand the situation, and finally they are selfish, and some people are more selfish in their hearts, and they get angry as long as they are not satisfied with things.

The solution is mainly to accept the imperfections of life, there are shortcomings to call life, so don't be so strict with yourself, relax yourself, then make more friends and read more, slowly improve yourself in books, feel the beauty of the world, feel your own shortcomings, balance between loss and gain, you will feel that life is actually the most important thing to be happy.

Anger is a very normal emotion, and it is not a problem in itself, but it is difficult for most people to express anger appropriately and effectively. Generally speaking, we either vent our anger unscrupulously and aimlessly, or we bury our anger in the bottom of our hearts and let it rot. The outpouring of anger can cause harm to others and ourselves, and lead us away from our original purpose; And forcibly suppressing anger will not work, because the suppressed anger will not go away, it will manifest itself in the form of headaches, depression, jealousy for no reason, etc.

Recommendations:1Ask yourself: What exactly do I want him or her to do? What do I want to achieve with anger? Look at what those desires of yours are behind the anger.

2.Ask yourself: Am I really angry with this person? Are the reasons for my anger really the ones I'm talking about? Is it possible that the reason why I'm angry with him is because it's safer to be angry with him?

3.How much of your anger comes from your basic needs and desires being unsatisfied?

4.Everyone has some anger that cannot be expressed, and it is important to find an outlet for those emotions. Physical activity is a great way to release.

5.After getting angry, try to understand what really makes you angry and tell the other person what you think. A neutral listener can help you clear your emotions and identify your goals.

We all know that anger can seriously affect a person's mood and health. In life, it is impossible not to be angry, but if you are often angry because of some small things, then it is even less worthwhile. This in itself is punishing oneself for the mistakes of others.

First of all, the main thing is to adjust your mentality. If a person is humble and open-minded, then he will not be angry at every turn. So, the main thing is to change your personality.

After something happens, try to control your emotions and then free yourself. After a long time, it will gradually improve.

Also, take a long-term view. If a person has a long-term vision, he will not care about the small details in front of him. Therefore, we should grasp the big and let go of the small. This will also help you improve your personality flaws.

Again, people's mood is not peaceful, from the perspective of Chinese medicine, it is also caused by the rise of false fire, you can adjust it through Chinese medicine. Balancing yin and yang will also be beneficial.

Alternatively, you can seek help from a specialist psychologist. Let counseling help you open the knots.

Judging from your description and age, adolescent girls are emotionally fragile and sensitive. Concerned about the eyes of those around him, introverted but not confident.

In fact, you need to handle interpersonal relationships better, and at the same time be confident in yourself, and talk to your friends more, in fact, they are not as you think. Be sincere with people, when you feel that you are not valued, you will have troubles, and you want to be an important person.

In real life, you find this very troublesome, but in fact, it is a subconscious need of you, and there is a reason why you have a strong need. You say that "you know that this is not good" is actually a manifestation of self-awareness, since it is unreasonable but it will be sad, and it is important to want to be in front of others, and it is related to the evaluation of yourself in your heart. When a person does not feel enough about his own presence, he will find ways to supplement himself externally.

So it's probably not that people don't pay enough attention to you, but that they don't give you the sense of presence you expect, so you feel uncomfortable.

Ask yourself, why do you want to be valued so much? Why are you angry when others don't pay attention? How do you feel if they do?

Find out what the real need is behind your anger. Then, since others can't expect too much, it is recommended that you think about yourself. Do you feel important in your family of origin and in your intimate relationships?

How do you rate yourself? Do you feel like you're not good enough in relationships? Who gave you the feeling that it didn't matter?

When you find the essence of your true anger, it is the beginning of regaining your inner balance and taking better control of your life. Of course, you can also find a counselor to accompany you in your exploration.