Ask for help jokes who have please send

A person buys a book in a bookstore and says to the clerk: I want to buy a book, there is no ** in it, but there is a hidden murder motive; There is no love, but love and hate are hard to give up; There is no detective, but he is always vigilant. Can you introduce me to one? "Only this", said the clerk, "China ****".

Ask for help who has the funniest joke in the world? Li Yongdu laughed and fell down--can you stand it! 1. A pair of exam teachers sent out rolls, and the girl behind took one more and shouted: "Teacher, I have it, I have it."

There is a psychiatric hospital where a lot of mental illness lives.

One day, the director there, in order to see how the patients were recovering, came up with a solution, and said to the patients, "Come here," and he made a door on the wall, and said, "Today, any of you who opens this door can go home." ”

When the mentally ill heard this, they rushed up and surrounded the painted door. The dean was disappointed that he found that one of the patients was still sitting in the same position and did not move, and he thought it was okay, so he stepped forward and asked, "Why don't you open the door?" ”

He looked at the dean and said a word.

The patient secretly told the director, "I have the key here."

.Bajie was hugging Chang'e on the moon to flatter, and suddenly saw a person hiding in an iron can flying in front of him, Chang'e exclaimed: Someone peeked at our privacy! Bajie asked: Was it sent by Gao Laozhuang? Chang'e replied: Fortunately, it's Yang Liwei

In my junior year of high school, a roommate wanted to go out to surf the Internet at night, but the doorman didn't let him go out and got into a fight with the doorman. That buddy said something to me that I still worship: "I was born 6 weeks premature, and I can't stop my mom if I want to go out!" What are you.

Cycle. Lao Wang was resting under the tree, and Lao Li came over to him and said, "Hey, why don't you go up the mountain to chop wood?"

Lao Wang said: "What are you chopping wood for?" Lao Li said:

It's so good to sell. When you sell it, you can buy donkeys and sell firewood from house to house. When you make money, you buy trucks, and then you buy a lumber mill and sell wood.

Enjoy the blessings at ease. Lao Wang said, "Then what do you think I am doing now?" ”

2. Soft-shelled turtle turmoil.

The soft-shelled turtle is also called the group fish or turtle, and is commonly known as the king eight. Delicious and expensive. "Don't buy what you eat, don't eat what you buy", it's actually a high-end gift, and public relations is ugly.

Star. A certain township sent several people to bring turtles into the city to pay tribute. Because of its different weights, it must be distributed according to the "position", so in order to avoid mistakes, the official number is written on paper and pasted on the back of the turtle.

It was already late in front of the residential building of the cadres of the organs. Unexpectedly, the bamboo basket overturned, and all the soft-shelled turtles rushed to escape for their lives in the twilight, and the villagers exclaimed: "Director Zhao" ran away!

The biggest one. Grab "Director Money" - watch out for its bite. The black in the corner of the wall is "Section Chief Sun"?

Secretary Li smiled and said, "It's small, it's fast, I'm afraid I can't find it."

3. It's late. In the subway, a man spotted a pickpocket digging out his wallet and humorously said, "Dude, you're late!" I'll take it today.

but my wife is much quicker than you! ”

4. Love letters. In a letter to his girlfriend, the young man wrote: "I love you so much that I would like to go to war for you." If it doesn't rain on Saturday, I'll come.

5. Unreasonable complaints.

Two people eat together, there are only two fish, one large and one small. One ate the big one first, and the other was furious. "How inappropriate!

He complained. "What's wrong? Another bumper asked.

You ate the big one, and you wouldn't have done it if I were you. "What will you do.

What about it? "Of course I'm going to eat the small ones first. "That's good wow, what are you complaining about, isn't that little fish still there! ”

6. Confidentiality for you.

A: "I'll only tell you about this matter, please keep it a secret for me." "

Umbrella and life. A long time ago, both father and son were well-known Mr. aliases. Once, when the son was out to visit relatives, on the way, it suddenly rained heavily, and he didn't bring an umbrella, so he wrote to his father and said:

I quarrel with my father, my son goes halfway, it rains heavily, others have lives (umbrella), I have no life (umbrella), I have life (umbrella) to bring life (umbrella), no life (umbrella) takes money to sell my life (umbrella). ”

His father saw the letter from Tong and quickly replied: "Son, if you know how to write a horse, then a horse (write), and if you can't write a horse, you will bear (one by one). There is tolerance (guest) in the hall, and I am also ashamed to death. ”

1. One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming to use "hurried" to form a sentence, Xiao Ming: "My father works in Dalian No. 1 Factory and is very busy!"

The teacher asked Xiao Ming to use it first. Again. Sentence formation, Xiao Ming: Sir, goodbye.

Second, the teacher felt that Xiao Ming's writing was messy, so he asked Xiao Ming to write again. The next day, Xiao Ming's writing was even more messy, so he criticized Xiao Ming: Didn't I let you write again! Xiao Ming: I ate a lot of food and hiccuped a lot!

A student was praying to God: "Please let Emperor Tang Minghuang become the builder of the Great Wall, which is what I answered in the history quiz just now." ”

Once upon a time there was a ghost 、、、 he put a p、、、 and. I stink to death. Hey, hey, hey.

Xiaoli asked Xiao Ming: "How do you make a sentence with ABCDEFG?" ”