Does anyone have funny jokes? Who has funny jokes

1 A director bought a new car with a license plate number of 00544, and the director was very dissatisfied and thought it was unlucky. The manager persuaded him: "00544 is a homonym that moves me to try, symbolizing majesty, how can it be unlucky?"

As soon as the director heard that it was reasonable, he did not pursue it anymore. One day the director went out in a car and was hit by another car. The director was furious, got out of the car and pointed to his license plate and said:

Don't you see my license plate? Move me to try! Not to be outdone, the driver who hit him pointed to his license plate and said:

You also look at my 44944, try it! ”

2 A student climbed the wall to get out of the school, and was caught by the principal, who asked him:"Why not walk through the school gates? "He said"Metersbonwe, off the beaten path.

The headmaster asked him again"How did you climb over such a high wall? "He pointed to his pants and said"Li Ning, anything is possible!

The headmaster asked him again"What does it feel like to circumvent the wall? "He pointed to his shoes and said"Xtep, the feeling of flying! "On the second day he entered the school through the main entrance, and the principal asked him"Why don't you go over the wall?

He said"ANTA, I choose, I like it! "On the 3rd day he wore a bastard, and the principal said he was:

You can't wear mixed suits! "He said"Whatever you wear, Semir costumes! "On the 4th day he wore a vest to school, and the principal said:

You can't wear a vest to school! "He said"Men, it's good to be simple, love to kick the castle costumes! "The principal said"I'm going to remember you!!

He said"Why? "The principal said"Dynamic Zone, my territory, my way!!

Brother, give me some points, it's really choked!

A pair of lovers were caught by wild men in the mountains and said, "You eat each other's feces and let you go." The lover did it, and on the way back, the woman cried, and the man asked the reason, and the woman said sadly: You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't pull so much!

Full of fun, recommended:

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pickles, please sausage and pickle!" ”

Translation: Now the mayor of the township is invited to speak! ）

Translation: Don't speak, I'll tell you a story A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails!" Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!! ”

Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, it's time for the meeting!! )

When I got up early to go to work, I met a buddy on the road and ran by in a hurry. Greet him: "What are you doing?"

He replied, "Walk the dog." In a few minutes, the buddy hurried back from the side.

Ask him, "What's wrong?" The buddy said calmly

Forgot to bring the dog. ”

The first class was an English class, and according to the convention, because I couldn't understand it, I slept secretly until the end of class every time. And because I sat in the last row, behind me was the back door of the classroom, and every time I got out of class, it was my table mate who woke me up to soak up the sun. Unfortunately today, the teacher called me a problem for the first time, and I was woken up by my tablemates in my sleep, thinking that class was over, so I got up and opened the back door and walked out of the classroom.

Three minutes later, I felt something strange outside the classroom, and I hurried back to the classroom, only to see all the teachers and students in horror. The teacher couldn't hold back her anger, she repeated the question, but I couldn't say anything in a daze, and after about a minute and ten seconds of standing like that, the teacher said impatiently, "Will you?"

It won't squeak too! So I was angry and said loudly, "Squeak."

The teacher fainted on the spot.

One day on a crowded bus, a pregnant woman standing in front of him said to a man sitting next to him: Don't you know I'm pregnant? (I want him to give up his seat.) I saw that the man was very nervous and said: The child is not mine! 』

Yesterday, I saw a Japanese man wearing clothes!!

Mage, Mage, Mage, Doctor.

There are many. You can also enter someone else's space.

The connotation of the mobile phone installation is updated every day. It's funny.

The chimpanzee stepped on the gibbon's stool, and the gibbon carefully wiped it off for him. They fell in love with each other ever since. Later, someone asked the chimpanzee how the two of them came together, and the chimpanzee said, "Ape dung, it's all fate."