I m 14 years old now, and I ve written a poem, please comment on 5

It's good to be able to write such a work, but the content is too much like the application of formulas in mathematics, biased towards the translation of modern text into ancient Chinese word by word, you are still too young, you should study hard, emotional things are very complicated, not what you should think about now, at least not what you should put your main energy in, in a bad sentence to say, "You don't have Mao Changqi, fall in love at such a young age"! In fact, I am also a person who is deeply hurt by love, I can understand your feelings, although I have no right to ask about your life, but I still have to advise you to learn is the last word!

Little brother, you have a great future. Your eldest brother and I are only eighteen years old, and we should all be proud of our age. I understand your poem, that is, the person you secretly like, but you find that you have someone else in your heart, right?

It's very well written, but the feelings are a little bland, and the rhyme is not enough, but it's pretty good. And the phrase "if you do what you do, you will be rewarded", I think if you really think so, it is really quite remarkable. Keep doing it.

Young man, study hard, don't be cranky. How long did this poem come out? How many times has this time been enough to learn "Song of Long Hatred"?

I was 12 years old and wrote couplets to see who was good.

Taste the Three Kingdoms, Guan Yu Wenjiu beheaded Huaxiong, Zhuge Liang Miao used the empty city plan, three points of the world Read the Water Margin, Wu Song fought the tiger on the Gang, Lu Zhi fell down and drooped willows, and forced to Liangshan.

My name is Li Tianqi.

Late-night reminiscences can be distracting.

Don't be too sad.

It's a pity it's not a love poem.

Not bad, but can she read it???

Dizzy, don't be cranky.

14 years old. Do you know what a spring dream is when you're 14 years old?

I can't understand it, I'm only 12 years old, and you're sure to make all the cloves in the world chase you.

Why stress that you're 14 years old.

Poetry, good is good, bad is bad, no matter how old the author is.

The most important thing in poetry is the artistic conception, not to bring in a bunch of words such as "Yiyi" or "Wu Ruer", otherwise, just considering whether these words are compatible, how can we also consider the content and feeling of the poem.

What's more, do you think that ancient texts allow you to express your feelings better than modern texts?

Laugh, I don't know if it's funny or ridiculous! Advocate its spirit to puzzle your feelings!

Ancient poems are not easy to write, so they are now being laughed at. It's just that they don't understand.

Some of them are like the format of the Book of Songs, but they have no surface and no connotation.

The spirit of encouragement, as I have just said, is to understand why you write hazy poems about love at a young age.

Not bad, not bad, worth encouraging

I'm also fourteen

Scold. It's still worth encouraging. Although I don't think there are many people who write poems for any love

Writing poetry at the age of 14 is not easy and deserves encouragement.

It has also been used a lot. The usable ones are not very appropriate, and there is a feeling of being a strong cultural person.

It can be seen that you must have seen too much of the consultant, and you still deserve encouragement! I'll top it too!

A cup of coffee and a glass of wine.

Half feelings, half sorrow.

I can't see it, but it's as beautifully written as your mood.

To be honest, it's better to write down what you want to say.

I don't know what to write, can I translate it once.

If it's a spring dream, why fall in love?

Why can't I read it?? I'm a Chinese teacher!

Does it mean that what you yourself understand is also called poetry?

Labor and management hate such people and pretend to be something. Pretend to be with me?

Filled, want to save, helpless, single and weak, ordinary people.

Although it is a dream scene, it is also a reflection of reality.

The whole should be expressed as a kind of helplessness.

This should be limerick. Hehe.

It's about love. About love, the world-

The most romantic thing is the first love, the happiest thing is in love, the most depressing thing is unrequited love, the most helpless thing is the secret love, and the most painful thing is the bitter love

Before love, I knew each other, and I put a piece of my heart in my heart, like a single-plank bridge over the waves of the river, I don't know whether I should cross it and how to cross it.

When I love, I can't help it, I am haunted by love in my dreams, my heart is full of her figure, and I try to care for her in every way, I am afraid that she will fly to other places like a butterfly.

If the other party refuses, or has been in love for a short time, but is flustered, has no self, has no dignity, is haggard and haggard, painful and painful, there is no pillar in life, and a dead word is nothing more than that.

Oh, this is a deep love, a real love, a love that can be called "love".

Loving this today and loving that tomorrow is not love, it is indiscriminate.

Cute is not love, it is love, it is good.

A lot of places don't work. There is also a lack of fire in the writing technique. It's not a poem. If it is really to be imposed on the stylistic category. It can be regarded as a relatively good song. The song of Tang and Song poems and songs. Qu Xiaoling.

Personally, I think it's quite well written, a bit of Li Bai's poetic style, and a bit of Zhuang Shengxiao's artistic conception of dreaming of butterflies. I felt that "I was about to fall from afar, and my memories hung in the air." After all, it is a bloody body, and it cannot float in the clouds.

This should be after waking up, can you put it in "Huangliang wakes up from a dream, and wipes sweat after waking up." "What about behind this?

Some words suggest that they should be considered again, but they don't feel very appropriate.

The writings of the ancients all looked like running accounts. "Jackals are all over", jackals should have been mentioned earlier, and it felt so sudden.

Content: Love my China (those who commit my China, although far away will be punished) Strive for the rise of China, I am born to be useful!

Writing technique: flat and straightforward, white description, realism, no major mistakes, the highlight is strong politics.

Loyal to the country).

In a dream, I dreamed of the cruelty and ruthlessness of the world. I'd heard of this dream for a long time, but I didn't expect it to exist. The dreamer is indignant and wants to save, but he is helpless and weak, and he is a mortal.

Although it is a dream scene, it is also a reflection of reality.

The whole should be expressed as a kind of helplessness.

This should be limerick. Hehe.

It feels very illusory, and life is like a dream.

In fact, Emperor Yang of Sui is really a very hard-working emperor in my heart, and everyone has mixed opinions about his behavior in going down the river, but every time he goes down the river, he has a purpose. I really admire the poems you wrote, you can have such a literary style at such a young age. As for the detailed view, there are still some inappropriate places, your hidden head, I don't think it's very suitable, it doesn't seem appropriate for him to be famous, he is the emperor after all, although the process of seizing the throne and recovering Xinjiang also see his talent and ability, but after all, it is different.

What's more, Yang Guang was also the ...... of the dead monarch in the endAs for the final dust, I want to say that the "dust" is used so well that if you use dust here, people have to compare it with Bodhi I am not good at literature, but I just say it by feeling.

Emperor Yang of Sui's evaluation went to check the history books, and this poem was biased.

The time, place, and cause and effect of the event are all there, and as far as poetry is concerned, it is okay, but it is slightly lost in literary style.

I think it's better to change it to four words.

The moon is bright and the stars are scarce, and you meet the people.

The shadow is still there, and the heart will always be in the door.

Encounter the moon and clouds (clear) night, and occasionally appear (beautiful) faces;

The sound of the warbler is crisp, and the shadow (dance) is in the heart.

I woke up in the middle of the night on the third watch.

The shadow is still strong.

Wandering the path.

Sit back and wait for someone to come.

The rest is at your own discretion.

If it is an ancient style poem, it has nothing to say, and if it is a close style poem, the second sentence should be a flat and flat poem, which is a technical aspect. The most beautiful thing about poetry lies in the beauty of the artistic conception, the scenery is true, your affection is the true feeling, the situation, you can modify it again, use words to create images, use images to convey meaning, and often produce good works.

It's very straightforward, and I personally think it should be a little more tactful, showing the hazy feeling of that encounter, and the charm of poetry lies in this. It's just a crude personal statement, don't care.

The wording is inappropriate, uneven, and there is no rhyme. The idea is not beautiful, and there is no artistic conception. This is from a professional point of view.

For novices, four words, more efforts.

The former sentence is not a big problem, but I think it should be changed to see (xian) for now

The last two sentences are a bit of a spoiling charm.

Xitang Poetry Thoughts Quiet Winding Path Question Supplement: Which well-wisher can help comment on this poem About 800 words It is best to be dizzy, I am about to vomit, help you finish writing, you have to give me medical expenses, hehe) Wenjin is not in power.

The meaning is clear, but the deep meaning is still not enough. The rhyme is also not in place.

The moon is bright and the clouds are soothing, and the jade face suddenly appears;

The sound of the warbler is whispering, and the shadow is attentive.

Under the premise of not destroying your original poem, make slight modifications, forgive me. ）

The third sentence is a bit weird. It's like daylight ...

Well, even if I'm not right! Anyway, the poem doesn't feel good, it's too straightforward.

The poem is very good, the moon is bright and the clouds are sparse, there is a sense of indifference, only the sound of the warbler and the swallow are crisp, one sentence is not strong enough, can not suppress the previous poem, and can not mention the last sentence, and the turn is a little sluggish. If you change it to "the sound is crisp and listen to the warbler swallow, the shadow stays in the heart and sleeps." However, it is not as good as the poet's "heart", which makes people feel like encountering the face, so please consider the poet.

Contemptible people are just words.

General, there is no artistic conception beauty, too straightforward, and the first sentence does not cut the rhyme.

After reading it, the flesh was numb... Forehead...

I feel that the last sentence is not good, so it is better to change it to "Qianying stays in my heart". (If you're wrong, don't look for me!) ）

It would be nice to be able to express emotions. And it's better not to rhyme all four sentences, it will be uncomfortable to read. There must be a beginning and a turn.

This poem is very well written, and from the content point of view, it expresses the sorrow of thinking about Jun on a rainy night after parting with you. From the point of view of the rhyme of the poem, the strict requirements of the seven-word rhythm are generally one, two, and four sentences, and the third sentence cannot rhyme. Another highlight of this poem is that the sentence structure is neat, just like the couplet, which is really not easy!

This poem does not have flowery words, but the meaning is clear, and it is a very good limerick poem!