20 points for evaluation, 700 points for evaluation

The writing is ok.

Examples are too large and incoherent.

The faults between segments are too large.

The subject matter is unclear, and deep thoughts are not visible.

Some sentences have nothing to do with the center and become cumbersome.

The length is too short. Condense the example a little, write your own thoughts after writing an example, connect the various parts with transitional sentences, and finally take out a paragraph to write your own opinion, write a little deeper, and then end.

The examples should not be too long, just two or three lines and an example. Let's take a negative example.

Sentences that have nothing to do with the center are deleted directly, and the center is mentioned from time to time in the middle, and the center must be emphasized at the end.

Change it yourself, I'm going to sleep.

Environment: Bright Moon City Protagonist: Vine Soldier Theme: Crossing text + abuse text (making it difficult for such a little baby to be trampled).

Let's start at the beginning

The legion was routed in the east of the city, and the defenders of the east side of the city were the first to abandon the wall and flee.

The news began with a twisting mouth. And I don't know what to do. The Internet in the era of fast food is clear and concise. Overall, I feel like your writing is still very smooth and clean. There are a few words that are worth going back to after a few chapters.

The structure you're talking about hasn't been seen yet. For the time being, you've only written two chapters. But as a reader, the feeling is that you can read it.

If the plot can be ups and downs, it will be more fascinating. Now I feel relatively weak, and I hope there will be more and more drama in the future. There are not a few more and more flavorful **, so you don't have to be too entangled in the literary style.

What matters is what you express.

Suggestions for later writing:

1. It's best to make an outline of what you want to write yourself. Think about the main content of each chapter and organize it. Then slowly add the title.

2 Each chapter is written around the original title. Write one or two chapters a day.

4 After a week, you can stop writing for one to three days. Go back and re-read it, and do the work of adding, adding, deleting, etc.

After reading your **, the details are well described, but there is no plot development yet, and the woman asked the child to blink that felt unsatisfactory. You don't have any structure yet, you don't see anything, in a word, it's too little. The traversal theme is either humorous or yy, and you don't have it right now.

Although the plot is a bit old-fashioned, he is not afraid of the old-fashioned plot, and Ni will always find new ideas in the creative process. As long as the main line of the story is clear, the key lies in the characters, a character with a distinctive personality is the soul of the character, and it is possible to naturally derive a lot of wonderful stories according to the personality of the character, you have to determine the central meaning you express, **It can be said that it is generally written about human nature, is greedy or persistent, there are too many types of human nature, and what you want to write here may be different. It can be seen that your two chapters should belong to the wedge It's just that there are some details that I personally think are a bit flawed (of course, what I said is not necessarily right) "Fat and soft body" fat is not suitable for people, especially yourself, "At this time, no one will pay attention to whether the ground is calling for a baby or a caterpillar."

This sentence is a bit redundant with all due respect, if you want to show that the world is cold in this troubled world, you can use the movements and expressions of the people around you to show that there is no need to use such straightforward words, this seems superficial. There is no need to weigh the words and sentences, as long as it is told like a story, and the writing is too much like prose, but it lacks a sense of substitution. In short, be casual.

In the end, I hope you can insist on finishing the writing, don't be too lazy to write 18,000 words like some people Hehe!

I'll take a look at the evaluation and leave you room to go up

In fact, novice writers should first write more, and then post them on the Internet, how much they write will naturally be read, and you can discuss with everyone, and there is more to read and write the famous ** imitate them, which is very helpful to you, don't forget to write an outline, this is the most important thing in writing.

After reading these paragraphs, I feel that this article is a bit artificial, that is, the stacking of words is not very natural, a little awkward, maybe the author's words are a little too much, and the things that can be accurately described with simple words have to use a lot of "advanced" things, but the combination of words seems stiff, it is undeniable that the style is still okay, but it doesn't read very smoothly, a little stumbling feeling, you need to combine the words better, and the meaning of the sentence fits. If you want to take the rhetoric ornate and have a long meaning, try to use less words in the market, such as "a pot of porridge", etc., this style is like a wild fox under the tree, if you want to go to the popular style, you should mainly use plain and slightly humorous language, such authors such as Li Liang. The style of an article is an author's label, only a distinctive style can attract readers, everyone can write an article, and an author with his own style can become a writer.

Shallow view, and LZ encouragement.

Leave your mailbox and send it to your mailbox.

Have your own characteristics! Be humorous or have connotation!

People don't do it all in one step. Relax and watch it later.

I've been writing about ** lately as well.

It's just a bit adventurous, weird, and if I have an idea in my head, I'll write it down and organize it again.

If you like to watch adventure and weirdness, I recommend watching Wesleyan There are TV series and movies.

Of course**!!

What type of book to write, just look at what type of book to find inspiration, it's a good thing that you can't write now, no writer writes things smoothly, the most important point is to have your own things and their own characteristics.

Solution: (1) Combined with the figure, there are 4 black square tiles in the first figure, and there are 3 more black tiles in the back;

The nth pattern has black tiles 4 + 3 (n 1) = 3n + 1 (block) (2) Observation of the figure shows that the number of marble floors in the nth figure = 5 (2n + 1), the number of white marbles = 5 (2n + 1) (3n + 1) = 7n + 4, the solution: n = 8

Corridor length = (2 8+1).

6*2+4*4+RMB.

2.Assuming that 10 is exceeded in April, there will only be one case, 4 in March and 11 in April

Only in April, when the chain family reaches more than 10, can it be shed to pass 44 yuan, so the assumption is correct.

Will it? It's not going to be a score, is it?

Misplaced categorization, it's an English question, not math.