Why is the relationship between mother in law and daughter in law so difficult to handle?

In the depths of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law's heart, a kind of foundation is planted that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot coexist.

Because the mother-in-law took three years to teach her son to put on pants, and the daughter-in-law only took three minutes to teach her son to take off his pants.

Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been an unsolved mystery.

That's how China has been going for thousands of years.

Only be magnanimous and you're good to go.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult relationship between family members, if you want to maintain the harmony of family relations, you must deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, in which both parties will think that they are the weak party, but in fact, this problem can not be generalized, specifically to judge, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must be analyzed from the three aspects of the family status of both parties, the right to speak in the families of both sides and how many supporters there are on both sides.

First, judging the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs to be analyzed from the family status of both parties. Judging who is stronger in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs to be analyzed from the respective status of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the family, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Relatively speaking, the party in a higher position is bound to occupy a stronger position in the relationship with each other, and the Lingshen is placed on the other side and becomes the side of Stanley Platinum, thus being in a weak position in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Second, the right of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to speak in the family determines the relationship between each other. The key factor that determines a person's status in the family is that the party with a higher right to speak will be more dominant in their interactions with each other, and the other party will become the weaker party, once the two sides have a contradiction, the weak party will be more harmed, in real life, the mother-in-law has a higher right to speak, so most daughters-in-law will be in a relatively weak position, but there are also some daughters-in-law who are very strong, so that the mother-in-law is in a weak position.

Third, the number of supporters of each mother-in-law and daughter-in-law ultimately determines the status of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Between family members, although the overall relationship is close, but there will also exist between each other for various reasons, differences in support, relatively speaking, the party who can get more support will be more dominant, when there is a conflict between two people, it will be more powerful, and the other party will, because of support, morning, and become a thin existence. When there is a conflict, it is easier to be hurt, and as for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no fixed answer to who will be the weaker party?

It all depends on the individual's specific situation.

Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been the most difficult, and living together will lead to many conflicts. The reason for this phenomenon is that the following three factors are critical:

1. "One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers", and there can only be one hostess in the family

As the saying goes, "one mountain cannot tolerate two tigers", and in the same way, there is only one hostess who has the right to speak in a family. The mother-in-law has been "running" the family for many years, has established enough authority, and is accustomed to "pointing fingers" at her son, husband, and even grandson (granddaughter), and if she suddenly meets a disobedient woman who even wants to "seize power", a fight will inevitably break out between the two.

I have a colleague, Xiaomei, who has been married for less than a year, and basically "fights" with her mother-in-law at home every day. Xiaomei's mother-in-law has a strong personality and likes to "instruct" her grandson about various things, while Xiaomei is not a "soft persimmon", so she doesn't listen to each other, and the two quarrel when they don't agree and even move once. Xiaomei's husband said that he could not do anything in the face of this situation, but the two decided to go out to rent a house to live when they earned money this year.

Second, people in different eras have great differences in their concepts of life

Personally, I believe that the big difference in life concepts is a very key factor that leads to the discord and contradictions in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Differences in views on things and the opposite direction of decision-making can seriously hurt each other's feelings, and as dissatisfaction accumulates, it eventually explodes.

I know this question very well. Less than half a year after getting married, the daughter-in-law and the old mother quarreled twice. One of them was because my daughter-in-law bought a lot of fruit every time, but in the end she couldn't eat it, so she threw it away.

The mother felt that she was wasting and said a few words, but the daughter-in-law bluntly said that "spend your own money, don't worry about her".

Another time was during the Chinese New Year, when her mother called her to come down for dinner, and it was already 9 o'clock, but she never got up. The mother complained twice and was heard by her, and then the two confronted each other. (For my mother and daughter-in-law, I will be slightly biased towards my daughter-in-law, because I think it is not easy for her to come to this strange family for me.)

But I privately criticized my daughter-in-law for both of these things, and I went to apologize to my mother).

3. Worried that the other party will snatch the love of his son (husband).

Some mothers-in-law will worry that their son will "marry a daughter-in-law and forget his mother", after all, she has been paying for so many years, and she will never be allowed to compete for what belongs to her.

My cousin's mother is in this kind of mentality, she can't get used to her daughter-in-law everywhere, and she will find fault with each other when she has nothing to do, which eventually led to the divorce of my cousin and sister-in-law. In my opinion, the best way to meet a mother-in-law who thinks this way is not to live together, and not to meet is the best respect for each other. (In the same way, some women can't see that their husbands are too filial to their mothers, and they will be jealous, jealous, and have conflicts).

Some people say that a man with high emotional intelligence can handle the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law well, but I think that family chores are not as simple and easy to deal with as they seem on the surface. I always suggest that if conditions permit, the daughter-in-law should never live with her mother-in-law after marriage, and believe that distance can really count old age and produce beauty.

Because the mother-in-law will mind, her son will listen to the words of the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law will also meddle in some of the mother-in-law's family affairs, so the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will get along very badly.

I think it's mutual discomfort, and many times, it's not that Fan Meng can't look down on it, but that he will be afraid of what the opponent Bi Qiaofang thinks of me, so that after a few years of time, some things are uncontrollable.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, mainly caused by two reasons, one is that the living habits of the two generations are different, and the other is that the personalities of the two people are incompatible, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be handled well, then the family will be harmonious, but if it is not handled well, it will lead to conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even lead to the breakdown of the family, so when dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must grasp the proportion. I think the reason why the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to get along with is mainly because the living habits of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are different, and two people with different personalities live under the same roof, and there will definitely be contradictions in Hanye Trembling, so when getting along, we must understand each other, tolerate each other, and be considerate of each other, so that we can get along peacefully. I think the reason why the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is so difficult is mainly because the mother-in-law Zheng and daughter-in-law have different ideological concepts.

The mother-in-law always feels that the daughter-in-law is an outsider, and the daughter-in-law always feels that the mother-in-law is an outsider, and the mother-in-law always thinks that the daughter-in-law is an outsider, and the daughter-in-law always feels that the mother-in-law is an outsider.