Ask for jokes. The kind of laughing humor that makes people laugh

One day, Ada was catching the bus to work, but the bus just left the platform. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me!" Master, wait for me!! At this time, a passenger poked his head out of the window and replied to him: "Wukong, don't chase it!" ”

I have a sense of humor, but I want to kill you.

Once upon a time there was a man who died.

Uh, hahahaha, you're so funny.

1. The old farmer went to the city to buy New Year's goods, and just entered the city, he saw the billboard that said: Apple, ***4580.

The old man was shocked, he thought he had seen it wrong, and continued to move forward, and saw another billboard, Xiaomi, 2299.

The old man thought to himself, is it? Moving on, I suddenly saw another sign that said, Little Pepper, only 998.

The old farmer couldn't help it, so he picked up the ** and called his son: Son, come back and farm, we sent it....

2. There was a grandmother who took her grandson into the city before, and she had never seen a bicycle, and then she saw a person riding a bicycle, and his clothes were a little long, blocking the saddle.

The grandson asked his grandmother, "Grandma, do you think it doesn't hurt to stick such a thick iron pipe in your ass?" ”

Grandma: "Silly boy, why doesn't it hurt, don't you see his painful legs!" ”

3. I asked the landlord, "Is there a TV in the house?" ”

The landlord said, "Yes, but it seems to have been broken recently, and I can't find the station." ”

Is there air conditioning there? ”

Landlord: "It's really not available. ”

4. One day I invited a buddy to dinner, his mother told him not to drink, and after he was full, his mother called him, but he didn't answer, I asked him why he didn't answer?

He said that he was afraid that his mother would smell the wine!

5. Thief: I stole all your things, felt guilty, and cooked a bowl of noodles for you, hoping that it was still hot.

Host: You have a pair of chopsticks!

One day, the teacher walked into the class, and the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" The teacher said indignantly: Just call good morning? What about my afternoon? Am I not going to have a good afternoon? ”

Then the students shouted in unison: "Good afternoon, teacher!" ”

The teacher said indignantly, "What about me at night? ”

The students shouted in unison: "Teacher, it's okay at night!" ”

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it, now shout again!" ”

The students shouted in unison: "Good morning, good afternoon, good afternoon, good evening, teacher!"

The teacher said, "Sit down!" Today we are going to review antonyms, we practice like this, I say that you should not speak, will - 10 points! , you say the antonyms out loud. Start now.

Teacher: "The weather is fine today. Student: "It's a bad day. ”

Teacher: "It's sunny everywhere. Student: "It's cloudy everywhere. ”

Teacher: "The road is crowded. Student: "The road is empty. ”

Teacher: "Young. Student: "Old." ”

Teacher: "Stand." Student: "Lie down".

Teacher: "There was a young man standing on the road. Student: "There's an old man lying down on the road. ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar." Student: "I lost a dollar." ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar and gave it to the teacher." Student: "I lost a dollar and went to steal the teacher." Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!" Student: "That's right, that's what you should say!" ”

Teacher: "Wrong. Student: "Correct." ”

Teacher: "It's not okay, it's illegal; Student: "That's okay, it's legal!" ”

Teacher: "I said it wrong. Student: "We said it right. ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" Student: "Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong!" ”

Teacher: "You are stupid. Student: "We're smart. ”

Teacher: "Stop! Student: "Go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Stop now!" Stop it! Student: "Let's move on now!" And more! ”

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" Student: "We're all geniuses, we say go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher!" Student: "Teacher listens to us!" ”

Teacher: "Students have to listen to the teacher!" Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!" ”

Teacher: "Now stop practicing!" Student: "Now let's keep practicing!" ”

Teacher: "Are you all endless?" Student: "We have a beginning and an end!" ”

Teacher: "Then you stop!" Stupid pig! Student: "Then let's move on!" Talented! ”

"I miss you. Well......Me too. Your wife slept? Well......"My wife also slept. ”

Yesterday, I heard the chatter of two women behind me on the bus, and one of them suddenly said "chrysanthemums are so itchy", and I was not calm at that time. I was about to look back at the inner woman when the other woman said, "I think cacti are easy to raise."