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I think it's important to note that we need to put ourselves in the child's shoes, not our own.
Many times, the communication between adults and children cannot continue, not because the child is naughty and disobedient, or rebellious, but because the child does have his own ideas and opinions, and he wants to do something in his own way and according to his own ideas. This is the difference between us and our children, and it may be the generation gap that we usually call it.
Many parents may think that there is no generation gap between themselves and their children, and that they are trying their best to understand their children's way of thinking and doing things, but in fact, there are many things that parents cannot understand. Let's take the game as an example. Many parents see games as a flood beast, and children can't get a little bit of it.
But the other day, I got something else from a conversation with an elementary school student about the game. Let's take the glory of the king of the current fire. Many parents think that playing games affects their children's learning and eyesight, but the little boy in the fourth grade told me that all the children in his class, both boys and girls, are playing this game, and those who play well are particularly popular in the class, and are more popular with the children than the first place in the class.
As soon as the class ended, there were a lot of children gathered around the tables of the children who played well, and it was not lively.
See, the game of delaying time, which is a heinous game in the eyes of adults, is a popular tool for making friends in the eyes of children. No one wants to be lonely and have no playmates, and everyone wants them to be friends and friends. Parents may be looking at the impact of games on their children's learning, but children do see that games can help me make more friends.
This is the generation gap.
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After all, a child is a child who doesn't understand anything, they have their own way of understanding the problem, they have their own perception of the world, and now children are very assertive, and they can no longer consistently follow the previous set of sticks under the idea of filial piety.
As a parent, you can't always impose your own set of ideas on your children, maybe that is not suitable for them, children are sensitive, and you can't say ugly words to hurt their hearts because they don't do things according to your way of thinkingEven hitting them with your hands will cause a psychological shadow in the child's heart. <>
If you want your children to grow up well and healthily, a good education of parents is essential, when our children are not sensible, do not use scolding to solve the problem, which not only can not solve the problem, but also make the child have a rebellious mentalityThey will not listen to you even more, and will do it against you as long as you say anything, so that the relationship between parents and children will become very awkwardWhen children communicate, we must listen to the true voice of the child's heart, even if there is something incorrect, we must listen patiently, which is not only a kind of respect for the child, but also a skill suitable for the child's communicationDon't always point out your child's mistakes, don't always face your child with a serious look, and when communicating with your child, make your child feel that he is communicating with a friend, not a strict parent.
When communicating with your child, don't behave too domineeringly, which will make your child feel afraid of youDon't dare to tell you your heart comprehensively, only dare to say your own good side, so that parents will not know their children's shortcomings and fears, which will cause children's psychological deformities and unbalanced development of children's hearts. <>
is like a variety show, Song Dandan took his son Batu on the show together, in the show, Song Dandan blindly said that his son Batu was not good, he had made Batu fat in advance, and he thought that Batu was not as diligent as others, anyway, he was complaining about his son, Batu is also such a big person, he also wants to save face, so he doesn't care about talking about him in front of the public, it also makes him lose face, and he is also at a loss.
When I was younger, I couldn't understand math very well, and I could see that my mother was very anxious, but he didn't use the right method, when I didn't know how to solve a problemAfter my mom told me about it, I made a mistake in the final exam, and when I came back, my mom scolded me without saying a word, anyway, I still have a great dislike for math.
When educating children, don't blindly praise children, don't blindly belittle children, praise will make children proud, and blindly belittle children will make children very inferior, have no confidence in themselves and feel that they can't do anything, these two methods should be combined, so that children can develop in an all-round way, and become a humble and excellent child.
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Every parent wants to be able to better accompany their children as they grow up and guide them better, and the foundation of all this is based on communication. If you want to build a good relationship with your child, you must first be able to communicate well with them.
Pay attention to your child's age, for example, if you tell a baby who is just talking about values, they don't understand it. If you want to reason with a young baby, you have to talk to them vividly and use fairy tales to grab their attention. And for older children, they start to have their own ideas, don't impose your so-called years of life experience on them, let them follow your thoughts, you should understand them, give them the opportunity to behave, provide them with the opportunity to realize their little dreams, and then guide them little by little.
For children with different personalities, you should also take different ways to communicate with them, for example, for some introverted babies, you should guide them to express their ideas, and it is estimated that they will participate in more activities to support them spiritually. For babies who are very outgoing and naughty and quiet, you can find a time to talk to them in a quiet place. But be careful not to put too much pressure on your child.
You want to be your child's guide, your advisor, their good friend, not their authoritative leader.
In addition, it is important to encourage and affirm your child rather than deny them often. Because only in this way will they be willing to share with you, so that they can grow up positively and healthily.
When communicating with children, you should also pay attention to the words you use, respect them, and not just ask them to say thank you and say sorry to others, but also lead by example and say more to children. All in all, it is necessary to be patient, to positively guide and affirm the child, to consider the situation from their point of view, and to be their friend rather than a trainer.
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<> point 1: Don't be too strong.
I don't know if there are any such parents around you. In their eyes, children don't need their own ideas, what they say and do must be right, they will always tell you what to do and what not to do with the experience of people who have come over.
This type of parents always like to impose their will on their children, and when the children show reluctance, they will always use the saying that I am for your own good, instead of seriously sitting down and listening to the child's real thoughts.
Over time, children will be reluctant to tell these parents when they have something on their minds, because they have formed an idea in their cognition that parents will not listen even if I say it.
Therefore, when communicating with children, we must learn to listen carefully to the most authentic voice in the child's heart, and we must be patient in the process of listening, and do not show an impatient look. Children are still very sensitive, and they can tell your mood and joy from your subtle expressions or actions.
Note 2: Communicate with your child from the same perspective.
When communicating with your child, don't show a serious look, and create a feeling that your child is your parent at all times. This will lead to psychological pressure on your child as soon as he communicates with you. On the contrary, if you are willing to sit down and be equal to your child, not as a parent but as a friend of your child, the effect will be much better.
This is also the reason why many children prefer to talk about their emotional problems with friends of the same age, because they do not feel too much psychological pressure in the face of such people.
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When communicating emotionally with children, they should be equal to their children's status, respect their purity, treat them as friends, be tolerant of their children, and listen to their needs more, so as to shorten the distance between them. Don't be condescending, and don't bother your children.
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Be sure to respect your child's ideas, be sure to communicate with your child on an equal footing, and don't make demands on your child everywhere.
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Be sure to pay attention to attitudes and methods, Wu Xi because sometimes our ideas children may not understand, Yinyin will make things very complicated, as far as the orange banquet chooses empathy, and communicates with children in a child's tone.
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1.Communicate with your child.
Communication between parents and children is not only a simple conversation, but also a bridge to understand each other's situation, and it is also a channel for emotional communication with each other. When conducting family education, parents must communicate more with their children, and when their children are successful, they can communicate with them about their successful experiences; When your child is in a bad mood, you can communicate with him how to adjust his mentality; When your child encounters setbacks, you can communicate with him about how to face difficulties, etc. Through communication with their children, parents can understand the true thoughts of their children on the one hand, and enhance their feelings with their children on the other hand.
2.Activities with children.
In life, parents have many opportunities to do activities with their children, such as: shopping together, traveling together, going to the movies together, playing games together, going to the playground together, etc. As a parent, you must cherish the opportunity to spend time with your child, because not only will you be able to bond with each other, but these activities will also be the best memories for you and your child.
Parents must not be stingy with praise and encouragement for their children. When a child achieves a success, parents should praise them in a timely manner, which can be verbal or material, and parental praise can increase the child's self-confidence. In addition, when the child is doing something challenging, parents should continue to encourage him, encourage him to dare to overcome difficulties, and the encouragement of parents will help the development of children's independent character.
4.Dare to apologize to your child.
When parents get along with their children, it is inevitable that they will do some wrong things for some reasons, and parents must dare to apologize to their children when they make mistakes, and apologizing to their children is an art. Apologizing to the child not only reflects the parents' respect for the child, but also sets a good example for the child, so that the child can understand the mistake and correct it.
5.Learn to be tolerant.
Since children are young and ignorant, it is normal for them to make mistakes. When a child makes a mistake, parents should not immediately criticize and blame, but should show them why they are wrong and how to do it right. In addition, the tolerance of parents can make the child feel guilty to a certain extent, and he will know what to do when he is faced with the same thing next time.
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We must also pay attention to relevant issues when communicating with children, parents must pay attention to their own expressions at this time, and do not swear casually at this time. Children's ability to imitate is very strong, so everyone must pay attention to related issues, and be sure to pay attention to their own behavior.
Mom and dad want their children to develop good habits of old age, and they want these children to be very good, but parents should also pay attention to their own methods when communicating with their children. We must pay attention to these issues in our daily life, so that you can make your child very good, so you must pay attention to your expression, and everyone must not swear in front of children. If you are a person who is not quick and good-tempered, then you must also control your emotions, never lose your temper in front of children, and don't show your bad emotions in front of children.
There are some parents who are very strict with their children in life, but they think that everyone really should not do this, otherwise the child is also prone to some problems, everyone should care more about the child at this time, and must use appropriate methods to guide the child. These are all issues that need to be paid attention to, and parents must communicate more with their children so that they can be very good.
Everyone must believe in their children, and they must treat their children as equals. If a child has a conflict with his parents, there is no need for parents to directly scold the child at this time, because the child is also very self-respecting at this time. Therefore, parents should learn to empathize and think openly, because we are all adults, so we should be more mature.
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