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Marriage is really a sacred thing, as a person who has come over, I think there are some things that must be explained clearly before marriage, otherwise the husband and wife will get along with different patterns and habits, and it is really easy to cause divorce.
So what should you prepare for before getting married? Personally, I feel that there are at least two things that must be communicated in place
First things first: the housing issue.
Although the customs are different in each place, the issue of housing is really important. Especially nowadays, people basically have only one son, and some selfish male parents always think that it is best for their son to stay by his side every day.
The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a headache for many families, and the mother-in-law loves her son too much, even if the daughter-in-law is married, she still wants to serve her son, and she can't treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter.
Even if they have money to pay for a house, they don't buy a house, and these sons raised by their parents, even if they marry a daughter-in-law, they drag them to live with their sons. Because the man's family conditions generally can't afford to buy a house, he needs to live with his mother-in-law, save money, deduct money, and quarrel with his mother-in-law every day.
In fact, there is no right or wrong in this, but because there is a housing problem, therefore, before marriage, you must talk about how to live together? Or do you live separately?
The second thing: the question of who will raise the family.
This is a matter of concept, and it is not unreasonable that people in the past always talked about the right people. The right person is not necessarily about the money, but more of a family education concept, this concept can be deep-rooted, which is difficult to change, therefore, it is best to communicate well before marriage.
Why bring up the question of who will support the family? I have two friends, one of the friends is a man who was brought up by his mother since he was a child, and his father doesn't care about eating, drinking, and having fun, and his subconscious is that "a woman should support the family".
And another friend's daughter, her parents are very affectionate, since she was a child, her father is the one who mainly makes money to support her family, and her mother also makes money, but her mother's money is to buy some food and clothing, and her subconscious is "men make money to support their families, and women make money is the icing on the cake".
In fact, I personally think that there is no big mistake in the views of two friends, and different environments determine different concepts. But from my personal point of view, I am more supportive of the obligation of husband and wife to support the family, but the main person in the family should be the father, and the mother's money is mainly to maintain the family's small expenses.
Otherwise, women now have to make a lot of money, have children, raise children, do housework, take care of their husbands, and serve their in-laws, while men only need to make money, and men cannot be called the head of the family.
Therefore, from the moment of choosing to get married, no matter what problems they encounter, the prospective couple should think about their future lifestyle, especially the housing problem and the issue of raising a family, as long as the responsibilities and obligations in the marriage relationship are harmonious, the two people will be happy together.
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First of all, before you get married, you should know each other's personalities well enough, and you should know what kind of people you need to spend your life with. Although society is becoming more and more open, people can get married and divorced, but for individuals, the result of this practice will make people lose confidence in marriage, and if they have children, they will also cause children to be mentally unsound.
A couple who want to be together for a lifetime, before getting married, the most important thing to consider is not the dowry of money, these etiquettes can be slowly scheduled, but to have a knowing understanding of their future other half, many marriage failures are made up. Since ancient times, the blood hidden in the bones of the Chinese has the element of compromise flowing. When everyone is faced with unsatisfactory problems, what they think of is not to think of a better way to solve it and to discuss, but to forbear themselves and give up some of their own things, in order to obtain psychological comfort or be able to improve accordingly.
Eventually, the contradiction will accumulate deeper and deeper, becoming unstoppable, and a relationship will be shattered. Therefore, if you don't know a person, you don't know the bottom line, you can't know whether this person is really the person in your life, and eventually there will be conflicts. Getting to know your significant other is one of the things you have to do before you get married.
Then, you need an economic base. You can't just get married without nothing. You don't have to have a house or a car, but first and foremost, you must at least have savings and a stable job.
Saving money is to pave the way for your future life, and a stable job is to reduce the corresponding life risks for you. When many people are poor, they choose to get married early because of love.
However, most of the contradictions in Chinese society and families are based on the economy. So, you say you can live a hard life, but you can't always suffer grievances. To put it bluntly, there is a reason why a person is poor, and most of the reasons are individuals.
Therefore, when they are poor, many couples often see each other not because of each other's strength and never give up, but because of their shortcomings and shortcomings, which is the fuse of the collapse of the marriage.
When you know your significant other well enough and feel that you love each other, then you are half ready to get married. Then you have a certain amount of financial strength, not necessarily very much, but enough to deal with most problems in the next two or three years, then you can consider getting married. Of course, your understanding of your other half must be rational thinking, serious observation, and objective evaluation, not just emotional.
As for the gift money after that, the problems between the parents of both parties will be slowly resolved.
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It can be unclear when you fall in love, and you must be clear when you talk about marriage.
Many women can't pull their faces before marriage to ask for this, and they may have to live according to their faces after marriage.
For example, when I was soft-hearted, I couldn't make up my mind to ask my mother-in-law's family to prepare a wedding room, and after marriage, I had to squeeze together with my parents-in-law, and I was as aggrieved as I lived.
The woman is realistic before marriage, and she is much more comfortable living after marriage.
What you want must not be hidden and not said, if you have any requirements, you must mention it directly. For example, the bride price, the house, the car, etc.
The marriage house is the man pays the down payment, the loan is repaid by two people, the name is written on the two of you, or the man pays the full amount, and the name is written on his family, of course, they have to be fully responsible for the decoration, because you don't have a name.
Also, the new house is only for the two of you to live, or your parents-in-law to live with you, these have to be coordinated before marriage. My personal opinion, of course, is that it is best to live with your own family, live with your parents-in-law, and you have to give you something if you have nothing to do. Don't fool your husband, saying that his mother is easy to get along with, and that is his biological mother, can it be bad for him?
This needs to be carefully considered, and don't compromise easily!
If you have the spare energy, you can buy the car, and if you don't have it, you can delay it for the time being, and you can wait until the two of them make money after marriage and the economic conditions are better.
There is also a bride price, and the dowry must be said to be good. In principle, you can bring as much dowry as you want, but each family's situation is different, and it depends on the customs of your hometown. One thing to remember is never to believe your mother-in-law's promise, which is the most untrustworthy promise in the world.
Chinese mothers-in-law like nothing more than to have a daughter-in-law with empty gloves, and their goal is to get a wife for their son without spending a penny.
Bride price, three gold, these must be seen, don't believe the words of the future mother-in-law, say what to get the certificate first and then make up, that's all big cakes.
If there is a dispute between the two families in the process of coordination, everyone may wish to take a step back, but the woman must keep the minimum requirements, have a house, and not live with her in-laws, I think it is the biggest concession.
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In a recent gathering with old classmates, the word marriage is the most talked about, and everyone must be familiar with this word, and most of the turning points in life are the only way, of course, a very small number of unmarried people are not a problem. On the day of the party, the old classmate Meng Meng was worried about the marriage, she said that the marriage is simple, in fact, a lot of things need to be arranged in advance, less than 3-6 months before the marriage to start planning, the old classmates present are also married, unmarried, everyone on this topic "chatter" mode, experienced old classmates said, to get married, to choose the wedding ceremony and celebration of the place, choose or customize the wedding ring, list the list of guests, book a hotel to prepare for the wedding banquet, wedding room, If you are preparing your own wedding banquet, you need to consider the division of labor such as wedding food, wine and tableware, the materials to be prepared for the marriage certificate, the pre-marital physical examination, the style of communication with the photographer and videographer, and the entertainment items required for the wedding banquet. There are also old classmates who said that in today's society, the all-inclusive services integrated by wedding companies are countless, and there is basically no need to worry too much about individuals, all of which are included.
And the ancient feudal society of three books and six ceremonies, ten miles of red makeup, Fengxia crown, eight sedan chairs, Ming media is marrying is still different, in ancient times, eight sedan chairs are generally high-level travel can be taken, there are strict rules for use, but marriage is also allowed to use eight people to carry, which shows that ancient people attached importance to marriage. The so-called Ming media is marrying, that is, officially getting a wife through the words of the matchmaker and the appointment and marriage, and in the society at that time, such a marriage could be recognized. Ancient weddings were very grand, compared with our modern weddings, the weddings of the ancients were often very exquisite, and the costumes and processes have accumulated Chinese characteristics.
There are different opinions, among which Beijing Bajiao Sedan Car Company (Beijing Bajiao Sedan Car Information Technology **** was established on September 7, 2022,) for wedding banquet wine, special customized wine can be covered, and the favors after marriage, gifts, gifts, etc. are a long-term plan that can be considered. It is also a long-term all-round service and guarantee for the maintenance of our relationship after marriage.
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Personally, I think the two parties must arrange the bride price, and then they must prepare, the list of invitees, notify them, prepare their own clothes, and try on the bridesmaids' clothes and the like, and then they must consider the dowry, of course, the ring must not be forgotten, and there must be a romantic wedding, so that he will feel very loving.
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First of all, it is necessary to determine whether the other party is the right person, and then get the consent of both parents, and finally have enough financial ability to ensure that the married life can be comfortable and stable.
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First of all, you need to prepare for the wedding, take wedding photos, and then ask the wedding company to help plan the wedding, and you must notify your friends in advance to attend the wedding.
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I think materially you have to think about what he takes to support you at the time, and how you feel that you really like him and really understand him.
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Marriage is for everyone".Life eventsIt greatly affects the rest of a person's lifeThe trajectory of life, maybe even a personHappinessThe decisive factor of whether it is or not. Therefore, compared to"Flash marriage".Spend a lot of time doing it well before marriageFoolproof preparationIt is a more cautious, more appropriate, and more responsible behavior, and the marriage that is decided as soon as the brain is hot due to hormonal explosions often does not lastIt is necessary for the bride-to-be or bride-to-be to do the following things before marriage
Wedding. 1. Discuss actively
You should be with each other before marriageEnvision all the problems you might encounter in the future and discuss solutions
As small as after marriageHouseworkHow to distribute, the marriage roomDecorationHow to arrange,Lifestyle habitsHow to run in, big to wantKidsFiscal powerHow to distribute,Life purposeWhat it is, etc., all need to be discussed in depth to gain insight into the other person's worldOutlook on the world, outlook on life, valuesto finally determine whether the other party is the one who can live with you for a long time".The right people
Little couple. 2. Marriage inspection
Don't think that doing a prenuptial check-up is a sign of distrust of the other party, a marital check-up isBe responsible for yourself, your loved ones, and the children you may have in the future
If you or the other party finds outGenetic diseases, infectious diseases, fertilityand other issues, although realistic, but both sides may need themRevisitWhether the relationship will continue or not can also be difficult for the futureBe mentally prepared。Compared to discovering our own or the other party's problems after marriage, premarital check-ups can help us do a good jobRisk assessmentto build a stronger marriage.
Marriage inspection. 3. Division of property
Husband and wife should too".Settle accountsPre-marital propertyIt should not be married to couplesJoint propertyPut together, if the future needs to be facedDivision of propertyThe problem is that the pre-marital property does not need to be divided equally with the other half, so you can have your existing property before the marriageStore separately, so as not to be mixed with the joint property after marriage, this "small treasury" is also a kind of protection for yourself.
Property. 4. Meet your parents
How many film and television dramas have "fairy couples" because ofMother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationshipDestroyed. Although modern couples generally do not need to live with each other's parents, it is difficult to guarantee that they will need to be taken care of by both parents after they have children in the future, or that the parents need to be supported by the couple when they are olderGet along with each other's parentsThe problem of meeting the parents early, it is preferableSpend some time with the other parent, not only can leave a good impression on the other party's parents, but also try to do their bestUnderstand who they are and judge whether you can live in harmony with them
See Parents. Other than that, the most important thing is youAre you willing to enter into marriage hand in hand with your lover, love him, love her, cherish and care for him and her, face the unknown journey of life together, never give up, and grow old, figure out these questions, and then think about getting married.
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Prepare things, entertain friends, get married, run errands, have children, fight, divorce, and find ,......
If a friend does this, it means that he does not regard himself as a friend, and when a friend does these acts against me, I will block my friend.