When did you start to feel like your life trajectory was fixed?

I guess I graduated from junior high school. Perhaps it is because China's exam-oriented education has made us indulge in the wave of exams since childhood, from primary school to university and even later work, it has always been the exam that has accompanied us, so we have been instilled with the idea that only if you study well can you do well, and only if you do well can you mix well. It's because I've always been affected by exams, so the moment I know the results of the high school entrance examination, I feel that my life seems to coincide with what I have talked to my friends countless times before, and I feel that it should be my own life, and there will be no changes in the future, at most, I may work hard to make myself live a little better, but there will be no difference.

Many people may think that graduating from junior high school is too early, too early to have not seen the current situation of society, too early to have not experienced any setbacks, early to not know that failure is the mother of success, and success is the mother of success. But that's it, only you know whether your judgment was correct at that time, and only you know if life will go on as you expected. Even sometimes I wonder if it's because I once gave myself a position, gave myself a direction, so my current life is just going in that direction, and then I feel that it shouldn't be like this, this is the trajectory of my life, even if I go crooked halfway, it is different from what I expected, and the ending is the same.

Sometimes I think about what my future looks like, sometimes I look back and see what my past life has become, sometimes I also wonder if my current self is getting by or not believing in fate at all, and I want to completely change the trajectory of my life, and then I come to the conclusion that I have been living according to the life I once thought about, and living according to the life trajectory of ordinary people. In the past, I thought that the world was fair, I believed that there was really God, and I believed that God was fair, but as I grew older and my knowledge grew, I found that the world was originally unfair, and God is just our faith.

When I went to college, my roommate and I would occasionally have cordial conversations, probably about the present, about the past, and about the future. Our family conditions are similar, and our growth environment is similar, so we were surprised to find that our life trajectory seemed to be replicated, but we met different people and experienced different things along the way, but in the end nothing changed. But some people are born with a higher starting point than others, and some people have planned their future lives for them at birth, and they do it according to this plan, and in the end they are still a cut above others.

So in my thinking, a person's life is like a predestined one, there will be different opportunities along the way, there will be good opportunities, but you can't change anything from the overall situation, just look at what you want.

I guess it was after I went to university that I slowly began to come into contact with the difficulty of surviving in this society. When I was a child, I felt that my ability to open up the world was already unknown to everyone, and the biggest change in my growth was that I clearly realized that we are all ordinary people and can only spend this ordinary life.

I think the most free moment for everyone is when they are children, carefree and innocent, and the most striking feature is that they are full of hope for the future. Just like when I was a child, I felt that I was full of all kinds of outstanding talents: I was so good at drawing that I could shock my teacher by copying a random picture; I studied well, I went to class every day easily, and I could get a good score in the final exam; I have a rich imagination and strong hands-on ability, and every time I have a handicraft class, my work can be praised by the teacher and finally circulated to the whole class.

When I was a child, I felt like a superhuman person, and there was nothing I couldn't do, only what I wanted to do, so I also felt that my future was full of infinite possibilities, and I could live all kinds of life I wanted. <>

Later, when I grew up, the pressure of my studies and heavy tasks made me slowly lose my innocence in life, and all I thought about every day was to study for exams and study for exams. And later, after going to college and coming into contact with a corner of this society, I was simply embarrassed to say the ignorant fantasies I had when I was a child.

It can be said that I am both glad for my growth and sad for my growth. The price of growing up is that I finally understand that I am not a very talented person, and what I can live is this ordinary and ordinary life. Go to school, graduate, work, get married, have children, and then maybe overdo my unfulfilled hopes to the next generation.

It's also sad to say that the most beautiful years have just begun, and they are slowly ending.

After returning to my hometown, I began to get used to a way of life, began to live a seemingly stable life, no longer thinking about trying to change my current situation, no longer thinking about my ideals and ambitions, I like to live according to the existing life pattern, a layer of unchanged life, as if everything has been fixed, as if you can see the future now, what your old life looks like.

I used to be ambitious, and I was full of ideals and ambitions, but in the face of failure after failure, one blow after another, I began to slump, and I fled away from the city where I was before, and chose to return to my hometown. In my hometown, I have friends and relatives, I don't have to fight everything alone, and I don't have to work so hard for everything, but I can't find myself who suffered at that time.

The salary is neither high nor low, just enough to support himself, and his life is dull, not even a little wave. Sometimes, I feel fear, I panic about the future, I worry that I will continue like this, I worry that I don't want to move forward from now on. The comfortable life is like boiling a frog in warm water, and I gradually lose my fighting spirit.

Because if you don't change and don't work hard, you won't fail, you won't make yourself more miserable, and you won't let yourself deny yourself again and again.

Life has passed like this for a few years, repeating the life of the previous day every day, the days are idle, and there is not even the courage to exhaust the bottom, and even the determination to confront the world is gone. After returning to my hometown, I became another self, a person I hated the most, a person who cowered. In the next ten or twenty years, maybe longer, will my life remain the same, and the trajectory of my life has long been set, and I don't want to change it.

From the moment I decided to marry my husband, I felt that the trajectory of my life had been fixed, and at that time, I gave up the recruitment exam that I had passed for my husband, maybe I would be brushed off at the interview, but I would also start again the following year.

If I didn't get married, everything could change, not only did I have a stable job, but I could also choose a family close to my parents. But when I got married, I couldn't do anything, because my husband was not so obsessed that he would give up his own job in order to be with me, so I was the only one to compromise.

Once I get married, I can think of it in the future, because my husband will not struggle in Shanghai for the rest of his life, and sooner or later he will have to go back, and besides, the house has been bought in his hometown, so since I am willing to follow him from the beginning.

So for sure, he'll have to stay in ** and I will have to stay ** in the future. Besides, I still have to give my son a complete home, and I also hope that my father can accompany the baby's growth. As for work, I definitely won't give up my favorite career, and I have decided that if my baby goes to kindergarten in the future, I can choose to go to the same kindergarten with him.

When I take care of the baby and pull him to elementary school, I may still think about the second child, then spend a few more years, and then re-devote myself to education, and that life will go on like this.

Although all this is not what I want, but since this path is my own choice, then I have to stick to it, and I can't be too selfish when I have children, I have been selfish in front of my parents for my own love, so I must let the baby grow up in the company of his parents.

Maybe there will be some unexpected things in the future, whether it is good or bad, I can't imagine it, so as far as the current situation is concerned, I can only sigh that my whole life is estimated to go on like this.

First, when he was young, he was not tactful enough to be impulsive and confrontational with the leader, so that he missed many opportunities later. Once, I felt unfair about the distribution of some benefits of the unit, and at the instigation of my colleagues to give advice to the leader, I felt that I had a degree to write the materials in a clear and orderly manner, and inadvertently played a leading role, although I won the interests for my colleagues, but let myself fall into the eyes of the leader and the impression of stupidity.

Second, when I first went to work, I looked down on my old colleagues who had been transferred from the army and had no education, and in his speech and demeanor, Li Li Hood inadvertently expressed the idea of looking down on them, and was reprimanded and taught them a lesson in person, and later I was also obstructed and made difficult for me in the development of my work.

The third is impulsive, and he lived together with his wife hastily before marriage, and immediately discovered some of her shortcomings, but since he has come to that point, he is embarrassed to say that he broke up, so he can only move forward hard. After marriage, although there are no frequent violent conflicts, I always feel a sense of grievance and regret, and regret my impulsiveness.