Gossip always affects us, what are the words you have heard that make you feel inferior?

Recently, I've heard people say that I'm not only ugly, but also don't know how to run a house. I was angry when I heard it。In fact, speaking ill of others behind your back can cause great harm to others and make people feel inferior.

If you want to look down on gossip, you need to look at the problem from the perspective of the other party or a bystander, analyze your own emotions and the other person's emotions, and what each person is afraid of. Then, address that fear to address the problem.

Neglect is the most basic step. Neglect is not just not speaking, but emotional non-response。Know that the other person's gossip comes from the other person's sense of vulnerability, and stop arguing with the weak.

There is a story about a mouse who declared war on a lion, and the lion ignored it and left. The other animals asked him, "You are the king of the forest, and you dare not fight the rats?"

The lion said, "I am the strong, he is the weak". If I defeat him, I will be like a bully of the weak, which is not honorable at all. "With a lion mentality, you can motivate yourself not to get involved in the battle of fear.

Ignoring will make the provocation boring, and it's not bad to deal with gossip about unfixed objects.

Vulnerability is felt by everyone. The sense of weakness is really on both sides, and we need to be more aware of it, find out the other party's sense of weakness, and back down in time。I once read a case:

The owner of a Japanese company often hears employees talking about him behind his back, and he is very distressed. Later, after observation, he believed that this was due to the relatively high work pressure of the company, which caused employees to accumulate negative emotions. So, he took a concession and set up a "venting room" in the company, printed out his own **, pasted it on sandbags, and encouraged everyone to use it.

As a result, it not only improves the relationship between the business and its employees, but also improves the operational efficiency of the business.

After encountering gossip, we can solve this problem by training ourselves to "guess others with good intentions". There is a famous story. When former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill gave a public speech somewhere, he was handed a slip from the audience with the word "stupid" written on it.

Churchill told his audience: "I just received a letter. It's a pity that the author forgot to write the content and only wrote a name, "When I was a child, I felt that this way of fighting back could really dispel my anger, so I also wanted to learn, but no matter how hard I tried, at the critical moment, I couldn't say the most shocking words to others."

However, when I became aware of myself and practiced good faith speculation, I inadvertently hit others several times in this way.

No matter how much you try to get it, it won't look good, don't bother it.

Saying that I am not only ugly, but also that I don't know how to run a house.

She's like that, and it's nothing remarkable.

It's just how good so-and-so is and how much money he makes.

When I'm particularly insistent, if others don't say it, maybe I will slowly start to question my ideas, but if others are very opposed, I will be more persistent.

But when my belief is not particularly strong, I may consider giving up when others say a few words.

Of course, if the first situation continues, I may give up because I am tired.

No way (.)

No one is born with a resolute personality.

Experience teaches.

Let's practice slowly in the future!

Be yourself, and don't pay attention to what others think of you. Others have the right to say what they want to say and the right to have their own opinions and ideas, so we don't have to think about and consider other people's opinions. Second, build your own personality, act with your own personality, be self-centered, and despise everything else.

Third, adopt a tolerant attitude, tolerate the rights and wrongs of others, the right and wrong of things, the world or later will have a conclusion, do not have to take it to heart, do not have to fight for a moment. Fourth, treat other people's opinions of you with an understanding attitude, even if others criticize you with a critical attitude, you will understand on the good side, and the person who criticizes us will always be our teacher. Fifth, know that a certain perception of us by others is temporary and will change over time.

Faith is engraved in the bones.