Revise this poem for me, urgently, who can help me change the poem?

In the turbid air" the overall style of this poem is relatively fresh, the word "turbid" does not match very well, it feels a little dirty, and it can be changed to a softer word. The phrase "Do you smell a smell called longing" is problematic and does not constitute a question before and after. It could probably be changed to "Do you smell a smell called longing", "The night blinds the whole world", "Blind" is a bit weird, and it is worth considering.

It was my thoughts that ignited the moon The word "yes" can be deleted. The sentence "Do you feel it" can also be modified, and I personally think that using "whether" is more in line with the gentleness of the verse. "When missing you becomes a habit, there is a reason to love you" doesn't quite fit in with the whole poem.

As for the words in parentheses, it should be changed by the author himself in conjunction with the meaning to be expressed, together with the ending. The level is limited, please bear with me. This is purely a personal opinion and should be used at the author's own discretion.

Summary. Hello, square dressing is changed, is makeup, horn millet is bad, fragrant dumplings are bad, who can help me change the poem?

Hello, what poems to change?

Hello, what is your requirement?

Flatten the water rhyme and lower the seven yang rhymes, the second sentence is not pressed, the first sentence is three times flat, and the horns are bad three times, can you change it?

Okay, I'll take a look first.

Hello,,The first sentence of the square grooming is three times flat, and the horn is bad three times, what style is it changed to?

It can probably express the original meaning, press the rhyme, and don't have three draws or three draws.

Good. Hello, the square dressing has been changed, it is whitewashed, the horn millet is bad, and the fragrant dumplings are bad.

It's whitewashing and doesn't rhyme, and isn't it changing the three-in-a-row to the three-in-a-row?

Hello, didn't you say that you don't have three draws or three draws? <>Isn't there a trifecta? And I'm talking about the rhyme and no triple draw or triple draw.

Good. Hello, the square makeup has been changed, the makeup is decorated, the horn millet is bad, and the fragrant dumplings are bad

I want to hold your hand.

Please stay for me.

Farewell so far, the heart is like a lotus.

The slightest concern adds to the sorrow.

Tea and rice are hard to think about.

Loneliness, self-blame, and a bad temper.

Sit alone in the empty room and guard the guard.

I want to work hard with you.

A large river prospect ship.

You and I will stay together until the end of the day!

I held a delicate brush and composed a love song for Qing.

Affectionate and beautiful pictures in the past, evoking infinite memories today?

I wrote lyrics and music, and wrote poems as prefaces, but I didn't want you to leave.

I am lyrical narrative, anthropomorphic metaphor, but why is the depth of love exchanged for hesitation?

In a trance, I picked up the sorrows of the past.

We laugh. Who else hurt whom.

I can't bear to look back. I thought I understood your gentleness.

You can arrange our later.

Thought it had been waiting so long.

You deserve everything.

I want to hold your hand.

Please stay for me.

I want to hold your hand.

I will wait for you.

Shall I be a thing in the pool?

It's not as good as Kunpeng dancing.

May Pangu create heaven and earth.

You and I come to rely on each other.

Walk all over the mountains and rivers to win the immortals and hide their heads.

。。It's better to figure out such a troublesome thing by yourself for 25 points.? No time at the end of the song 12:30:44

Grass harmony you harmony mom, don't have time to die?

You really have a good taste, don't say much, do you want to contact the inside line and make an appointment with a place to fight?

Rewrite "Fengqiao Night Park" Yue'er slowly disappeared from the side of the mountain, the noisy crows drifted in the cold wind, and the autumn night wind was high, I wonder if the wheat in my hometown has been golden? The dew was as bright as the stars in the sky, and I let the dew wet the corners of my clothes, and although I felt a little chill on my face, I couldn't feel the slightest cold. The coldest thing in this world is the bustling capital, and some people are passing by, and they are not just passing by.

And I passed by, but only passing by. The maple leaves in one place melted my enthusiasm. Silence, dark incense, soft singing, fishing fire in the distance and the extravagant hope of my remote corner.

I still failed after all, and ten years of cold windows in exchange for nothing more than a night of sleeping on the moon. Is the meteor that has gone the opposite way a forgotten ambition, or is it an unsightly death of the wind and waning moon? The bell outside the city of Gusu echoes in the silent night, is this the gods and Buddhas in the Hanshan Temple pointing out the lost people in the world, or does the bell read my downfall?

As the passenger ship moved along the water, the bell caught up with it, telling me that I was alone in the silence of the night. Life on the other side of the river is like a dream, the other side of the mountain is lonely and empty, who quietly swallows and sighs in the bell, and no longer talks about the title of the gold list in vain? Who silently rolled up the wrinkled memory, did not mention the spring breeze and bright moon in his hometown, and smiled at the champion and the first place on Chang'an Avenue?

When the song ended, the people dispersed, and the people went to the tea to cool down, only to suddenly realize that the false drunkenness was paved with the lonely stepping stones outside the Hanshan Temple, and they were willingly stepped gently by the footsteps of seeking fame. That's it, that's it, it's destined for this night, and you can't escape the lights. The bell is ringing, let me Zhang Ji write a poem for your understanding, and when he meets again, don't forget that I am.

So, I put pen to paper and wrote: The moon is falling and the sky is full of frost, and Jiang Feng is sleeping. Hanshan Temple outside the city of Gusu, the bell rings in the middle of the night to the passenger ship.

From the library.