Seek the most loving jokes, seek the funniest jokes

Once, with a mm, she insisted that I tell her a story, and I had no choice but to tell one:

There was a little white rabbit in the forest accidentally lost, it walked and walked, and suddenly met a little gray rabbit, so he asked, "Little gray."

Rabbit, little gray rabbit, I'm lost, can you tell me how to get out of this forest? The little gray rabbit thought for a moment and said, "Yes."

It's okay to tell you, but you have to let me ml first", the little white rabbit had no choice but to ml with him, and then go along.

The direction it was pointing was gone.

Walking, walking, the little white rabbit accidentally got lost again, and when he met a little black rabbit, he asked: "Little black rabbit, little black rabbit, I'm lost."

Can you tell me how to get out of this forest? The little black rabbit thought for a moment and said, "It's okay to tell you, but you."

You have to let me ml first", the little white rabbit had no choice but to ml with him, and then walked in the direction it pointed.

Walking, walking, the little white rabbit accidentally got lost again, and when he met a little yellow rabbit, he asked: "Little yellow rabbit, little yellow rabbit, I'm lost."

Can you tell me how to get out of this forest? The little white rabbit thought to himself, it seems that he is going to ml again, but he didn't expect the little yellow rabbit to think about it.

For a moment, say: ...Here begins a pause, contemplative).

mm, who was listening to the story next to me, saw that I stopped halfway through the story, and asked puzzled: "What did the little yellow rabbit say"...

Me (pensive): "Hmm.

mm began to be anxious: "Hurry up and tell me, what did the little yellow rabbit say?" I said, "It's okay to tell you, though."

mm was in a hurry: "But what, the pig's head hurry up".

After 2 seconds. mm suddenly seems to realize something!

I started laughing and then.

Every time my wife goes to the zoo, she weeps at the animals in the cage. ”

She's so loving. ”

She can't tolerate so many pretty furs to stay in a cage for no sense! ”

Hehe, it's still out of people's appetites.

Question: What line do orangutans hate the most?

Parallel. Reason: Parallel lines do not intersect (bananas).

I watched a TV show last night, and there was a conversation between the host and a five-year-old girl, recorded as follows:

Moderator: "What do you want to do in the future?" ”

Girl: "I want to be a lady." ”

Interviewer: "What should a lady look like in your mind?" ”

The girl was silent for a moment. The host inspired: "Then tell me, what does a lady look like when she speaks?" ”

Girl: "Quietly." ”

Host: "What about the lady walking?" ”

Girl: "Slowly. ”

Host: "What about eating?" ”

Girl: "Of course, slowly. ”

Host: "What about the lady?" ”

The girl was a little dissatisfied, and asked rhetorically: "Everyone is a lady, do you still need to do things?" ”

Originally written from.

I love my mom, always, Shin said: no. God faints...

Same as above for omissions. Finish.

One day I said to God that I would support Shang Wenjie for the rest of my life. God said no, only seven days, I said Monday to seven; God said no, only four days, I said spring, summer, autumn, winter; God said no, only three days, I said yesterday, today, tomorrow; God said no, only one day, I said yes, God asked blankly, "Which day?" I said, "Every day I live!"

God faints...

If the director is older than the director, it's a joke.

If the director is younger than the director, he will laugh at you.

I had a feeling that I had seen this issue a few months ago, as if I had felt that way at the time.

I'll tell you. Actually, the funniest joke is not like this, which can be typed out for you to see. A real joke is something that happens unintentionally in your life that may make you want to laugh when you think about it... How do you find it on ** like you?

I saw a disgusting joke and laughed for a long time

——1。The eldest and second took the plane, and the second was airsick and kept vomiting. The bag was full of vomit, and the boss had to go to get the bag, and when he came back, he found that all the people on the plane were vomiting.

The eldest asked the reason and the second said, "I saw that the bag was also full of vomit, so I had to drink half a bag, and they vomited it all." ”

2。One day, the eldest and second went to the theater to watch a play again, and saw the two arguing about the development of the plot halfway through, and made a bet about it. The boss pointed to the row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what is there."

Unfortunately, the boss lost, so the boss frowned and took a sip. The two then gambled on the plot below, this time, the second child lost only to see the second child pick up a spittoon, and drank fifteen gulps in a row. The boss was shocked, and the admirer threw himself to the ground, and said to the second child, "You are so amazing, you can actually drink fifteen gulps in a row!"

The second child shook his head, "It's not that I want to drink, the phlegm in that spittoon is too thick, and I really keep biting!" ”

Dear Goku:

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you can't read quickly!

We had 2 rains this week, the first time it rained for 4 days, and the second time it rained for 3 days!

How are you doing in Huaguo Mountain? I had a bad time in Heaven, because there was no gravity, so I couldn't drop my stool, urine, tears, and snot.

Our beef noodles here are delicious, and if you come another day, we'll go to the restaurant on West Street to eat hot pot together!

Your eldest sister Guanyin is about to give birth, because I don't know if I will give birth to a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you want to be an uncle or an aunt for the time being!

Did you receive the clothes I sent you? I was afraid of being overweight when I was going to send it, so I cut off the buttons and put them in the pocket of my clothes!

I wrote it here not early, and when you have time to play here, remember not to drink more water, otherwise it will be very uncomfortable to pee out here!

I wanted to send you money, but the envelope was already glued!

There was a fat man who jumped from a tall building and turned out to be a dead fat man.

This is a joke to tell in the summer, when there is no air conditioning.

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? The company grew up annoyed: Damn, what can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2. I haven't received your message for a long time, and I'm very distressed. I thought of death, and I used potato chips to cut my veins; hit your head with tofu; jumping over a building with a parachute; Hang with noodles. But if Dumo dies, you can invite me to a meal, and I will die.

Once, my mother patiently inspired Yaya to do arithmetic problems: "Yaya, you have learned to do subtraction, right?" Come, let's see, what is 4 minus 2? ”

Equal to 2, Mom. ”

That's right, good boy. So, what about 5 minus 5? ”

5 minus 5, minus 5....The girl muttered, "I won't, Mom." ”

Kid, you can't not! Let's say you have 5 coins in your pocket, but all of a sudden, all 5 coins are dropped. You say, what else is in your pocket? ”

The girl flashed her big eyes and said, "Dropped? Well, there's a hole in my pocket! ”

One day, Xiao Ming went to a supermarket to use the toilet. As soon as I entered the door, I saw that the wall was written to look up, so I looked up and saw that it was written on it to look left, on the left it was written to look to the right, and on the right it was written to look down.

Grandpa diving.

Three teenagers sat by the river and chatted.

1 said: My grandfather once dived here, stayed in the water, stayed for 5 minutes.

The other said, "What's that, my grandfather was in the water for ten minutes!"

The third one said amazingly: Don't talk about it, my grandfather has been diving from here for 4 years, and he hasn't gotten up until now!

The antecedent here is xiao hua is person, and the leading word whom acts as an object in the clause, so the accusative case is used.

In the clause, the subject is you, the predicate is came across, and the object is whom, which refers to xiao hua.

Who is used when the introductory word acts as the subject in the clause and whom when it is the object, but the modern grammar who can also be used as an object.

When I was in high school, my table mates loved to fart.

At one point, a foul smell wafted by. I asked him, "Are you gassing again?" ”

The mm at the front table turned around and said, "He's not this smell." ”

2. Roommate A: "Do my newly bought clothes look good?" ”

Roommate B: "Wow, such a beautiful outfit, don't you want to match the whole look?" ”

Roommate A: "....

3. The sound of the dormitory next door is very good.

Once I asked them, "Hey, the sound inside is good, what brand?" ”

It's not just that the sound is good, but also dual cards. ”

4. I originally wanted to post in QQ space to say: I'm cao, and I'm drinking too much tonight!

During the noon dismissal of a primary school, an old man drove a clockwork frog and repeatedly ran over the woman who picked up her child at the door.

Our general manager's surname is Zhou, once he called, I was driving, and I opened my mouth nervously to say. "***……"