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Accept your child's emotions and regulate your child's behavior Emotions are very personal, and you are the master of your emotions. The more you are judged, blamed, and repressed emotions, the more you have the urge to find various ways to express yourself. Behavior is relatively social, and it will have an impact on oneself and others.
When a child is angry and wants to hit someone, the anger should be accepted, as stated in the second principle. But hitting needs to be regulated, because it's not a safe way to express emotions and cope. Safety here is not only that it may not be safe for others, but also that it is not safe for the child himself (for example, the child will feel guilty afterwards, which may cause retaliation from the other party and disgust others, and these consequences are harmful to the child's physical and mental safety).
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Parents should pay attention to protect themselves from being hurt by their children. When people are hurt, they will use the instinct of fighting back and retaliating to protect themselves, even if it is a parent towards their own children. At first, the child will definitely make more trouble.
But don't worry, because people who are out of control are actually afraid that they will lose control, and they will hope that someone will help them regain control and finally return it to themselves. Use your actions to send a message to your child: "I am powerful, I can protect you, I am gentle, I will not retaliate against you".
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Don't let your child hurt himself by doing stupid things, such as not being able to harm himself, or throwing a cup that causes splinters to hurt him. Don't let your child hurt others, so that you have to take responsibility for your behavior and your own guilt afterwards. It is best for the more powerful parents to clamp the child's leg with their own leg and the child's hand in an encirclement manner.
It is so tight that the child can't break free, and it won't hurt the child. Pay special attention not to let the child hurt himself severely, this is also to prevent himself from being provoked and having an uncontrollable revenge in an instant.
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Respond to emotions first, then questions for example. When a boy ran out for not following the rules with another child, the teacher only had time to stop him. Very violently broke free and even hit the teacher.
I went over to do the preliminary treatment, and after he didn't have a violent movement, I accompanied him to a corner. He sat on the sofa and looked out the window, and said with resentment, "You just don't like me."
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Give your child the right to be emotionally disturbed in a safe way Emotions need to be unleashed. Emotional distress may not be useful for solving problems, but it can be useful for the development of children's own emotional regulation skills. It's like a closet with a mess of clothes, and you need to find a space to use as a workspace to clean it up.
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When a child has an emotional breakdown, as parents, we can guide them through the following methods:
Give your child a sense of security: When your child is emotionally broken, they need to feel cared for and supported by their parents and show them that you love them and that they are important. Let them know that you are willing to listen to their feelings and will not be upset by their emotions.
Deep breathing and relaxation: When your child has an emotional breakdown, their breathing can become rapid, and allowing them to take deep breaths and relax can ease the mood. You can have your child try to breathe slowly and deeply, allowing them to feel the breath coming in from their nose and exhaling from their mouth.
Guide your child to express themselves: When your child is emotionally broken, let them find a safe place and let them express their emotions as freely as possible. Listen to your child and understand their thoughts and feelings.
Let your child know that their feelings are accepted and respected, even if you disagree with their views or feelings.
Encourage your child to seek help: If the situation becomes more serious, you can encourage your child to seek professional help, such as a counselor or doctor. Tell your child that sometimes we need help to solve a problem, and that asking for help doesn't mean they can't face the problem on their own.
Stay calm: It is very important to stay calm when your child is having an emotional breakdown. When you stay calm, you are better able to help your child manage his emotions and find solutions to his or her problems. At the same time, make sure that your emotions do not affect your child and maintain a calm and calm attitude.
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When a child has a temper tantrum, the words and deeds of parents directly affect the child.
These 5 ways of communicating are effective when your child is emotionally out of control.
Stop littering! ”
You threw these toys and I would have thought you didn't like playing with them. Is something happening? ”
When the child has a tantrum, the more the parents say something, I don't want to do anything.
It's better to talk to them from a different perspective and tell them what you're doing, which doesn't convey what you're trying to say. ″
You try to hit someone again! ”
It's normal for you to be angry, you're angry, but it's not right to hit someone. ”
Let's be clear: there's nothing wrong with emotions, it's the way you express them. Hitting or kicking others is not allowed to hurt others or yourself, and taking something else out of your anger is not the best way to resolve your anger.
That's enough, you go over there and stand, you can't come out without my permission. ”
We can find a place to calm down. ”
This kind of timed punishment will only escalate the child's anger again. It is more important for children to know what they have done wrong than meaningless punishment.
Brush my teeth, eat and sleep now! ”
Do you want to brush your bunny's teeth first, or brush yourself first? ”
For children, tantrums are one of the ways they want to take the initiative and lose their temper when they want to be independent.
At this time, parents should use some tips to give their children a clever choice: not let them choose to do it or not to do it, but choose when to do it, or how to do it.
5.When your child doesn't listen to you.
After telling you so many times, did you listen to it? ”
I say it again, and you repeat it in my ear in a small whisper, so I know if you're listening. ”
Speak at different volumes, and your child will remember it because it's fun.
Repeating it can also have a consolidating effect. The louder they yelled, the harder it was for them to listen.
In addition to accompanying their children, parents also need to give a visual image of emotions, so that unpredictable and cautious emotions become concrete, so as to help children manage emotions more effectively.
We first meet the needs of children who are dependent on their parents before they can develop their independent character.
To help children destroy filial piety codes and manage their emotions, there are the following points for reference:
empathy and recognition of children's emotions;
Set boundaries and hold children accountable for their actions;
Correct guidance and teach children how to manage their emotions;
In addition, tactile development has a profound impact on a child's emotional and personality development.
Parents can take their children to play tactile games, pay attention to their children's experience of hot and cold temperatures, hug their children more, and massage their children more.
When your child is older, you can do professional tactile training to reduce tactile sensitivity. When a child is sad, angry, or scared, it is also when he needs his parents the most.
The ability to identify with your child's emotions and teach them how to comfort and control their emotions will benefit them for the rest of their lives.
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As people's lives become better and better, adults in the pursuit of quality of life at the same time began to require their children to become what they wanted, so they began to be strict with their children, hoping that their children according to their own ideas, because every parent can not do everything that is not conducive to their children, only hope that they become talents, so they sometimes care too much, resulting in their own wrong methods, resulting in untimely communication between parents and children and estrangement. At this time, parents must pay attention to the way they communicate with their children and learn to control their temper.
First, sometimes, when parents see their children's report cards, they will get angry because they are not doing well in the exam, which will lead to psychological pressure on their children, and they will have rebellious emotions, and then they will change the way to resist their parents, and they will be angry with themselves. Don't affect your child because of your bad mood, you must restrain your temper, and no matter how anxious you are, you can't show it in front of your child, so as not to cause more pressure on your child.
Second, when communicating with children, we must learn to listen to the opinions of children, do not veto some of their children's ideas, learn to look at our children from multiple angles, think from the perspective of children, it is possible that your veto will ruin a chance for children to become talents, so parents should learn to be friends with their children, do not be too strict to educate their children, you can read all the books on communication with children and **, start from yourself, Don't hit your child when you're angry, you have to educate your child from multiple angles, you can't help your temper, then go out and calm down and see what makes you happy.
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No matter what kind of things happen to the child, you should still respect the child's psychology, and when you feel unhappy, you should control your emotions, divert your attention, and communicate with the child when you are in a good mood.
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When you feel like you're about to explode, you must go out and calm down and don't completely explode into this bad mood. You can also put yourself in the child's shoes and consider the problem from the child's point of view, and then solve it for him. In this way, it will neither destroy the bond between you, nor will you allow a violent tendency to hurt the child.
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Learn to put yourself in your child's shoes and think about why your child is doing it. Try to convince your child so that he can solve the problem calmly.
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First of all, parents should secretly remind themselves in their hearts that they can't lose their temper, and when they want to lose their temper, they can divert their attention or stay away from their children.
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When parents communicate with their children, they must tell themselves that they should not lose their temper, and they must let themselves know that tantrums have a great impact on their children, and at the same time, they will also make their children's cultivation fall short, and at the same time, they can also calm themselves down appropriately.
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First of all, we should think clearly about the mistakes made by our children, and secondly, we should also look for ways to communicate with our children, and we should also empathize with our own children.
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You should put yourself and your children on an equal footing to communicate and communicate, so that you can avoid this state.
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When communicating with your child, you should communicate with a calm attitude and do not release your negative emotions.
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Parents must work hard to control their emotions, you can imagine that the child is their own child, if excessive scolding, will make the child's rebellious psychology more and more heavy, not only not conducive to the growth of the child, but also will make the child not close to themselves, what a terrible thing.
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Talk well to your child, look at things from your child's point of view, you will make new discoveries, and then communicate well or give him a hug.
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When a child has an emotional breakdown, he or she may exhibit different behaviors such as crying, anger, frustration, and withdrawal. At this time, parents need to deal with it calmly and help their children relieve their emotions, and here are some ways to deal with their children's emotional breakdowns:
Stay calm: First of all, parents need to stay calm and rational and not lose patience and control because of their child's emotional breakdown. Be gentle and quiet, and don't yell or punish your child.
Give emotional support: When a child is emotionally broken, parents should show understanding and support to make the child feel recognized and cared for. You can kindly ask your child what happened, listen to your child's feelings and heart, and make your child feel understood and supported.
Give a sense of security: When a child has an emotional breakdown, parents can provide some security to the child, such as hugging, gently touching, companionship, etc., so that the child feels protected and safe.
Distraction: You can try to distract your child, such as guiding your child to do some simple games or activities, to reduce your child's emotional stress.
Teach emotion regulation skills: Parents can teach their children some emotion regulation skills, such as deep breathing, relaxation exercises, counting, etc., to help children talk and self-regulate their emotions.
Help solve problems: If the cause of a child's emotional breakdown is a problem or difficulty, parents can help the child find ways and means to solve the problem, so that the child feels that he or she is in control of the situation and can solve the problem.
It should be noted that each child's situation and personality characteristics are different, and parents need to personalize the treatment according to the actual situation and age characteristics of the child to help the child alleviate emotional breakdown. If your child's emotional problems are severe, consider consulting a psychologist or a professional counselor.
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