How do you find security in love and marriage?

The sense of security in love and marriage actually needs to rely on oneself, although we will stay with him for a long time in such a relationship with the opposite sex, but the sense of security comes from within ourselves, not by the outside world, any sense of security given to you by the outside world will disappear with time or the loss of trust for the security given by oneself from the heart will exist forever.

So how to find a sense of security for yourself in such a relationship with the opposite sex, we can start from the following two perspectives.

First, let yourself be independent enough, because in the relationship of marriage and love, we often feel that the other party is enough to rely on, and give up self-growth, we need to let ourselves have independent thinking ability, judgment ability, of course, financial independence is also essential, we must at least have a job that can support ourselves, so that we can survive well without any external help.

Second, we need to make ourselves stronger. Because only the strong will not worry about the future, and only when we make ourselves strong enough will we not become helpless after losing each other, or losing something that the other party has given you.

You are strong, and another aspect is to make yourself in addition to the relationship with the opposite sex in marriage and love, we also need to cultivate and create some circles in our lives, so that we can have our own independent interests and hobbies, and even careers.

With spiritual and material security, you will feel fulfilled and naturally not worry about security. Because you're already safe.

There is a difference between a loving marriage, and it can be said that they are completely different things. But both of these can lead to a gradual loss of self and a lack of security.

So I think that in love and marriage, the way to find security is to "stay independent". <

I used to think of myself as a relatively independent person, independent in life and independent in spirit. I fell in love when I was a freshman. Before falling in love, whether it was in my studies or in student affairs (clubs, student organizations, etc.), I was very ambitious, and I was very busy every day.

After meeting my current boyfriend, it was probably because of my ambition that attracted him. But after falling in love, I started complaining about life at that time. I feel that studying, student affairs, and falling in love are all pressed on me, and there is not enough time, too much pressure, and too many things.

In addition, he just started to fall in love, and he was full of enthusiasm. I put more energy on love, so I gradually felt that I was not enthusiastic about student affairs. I have withdrawn clubs, student organizations, etc., and I am perfunctory if I can't quit.

As a result, I have more and more free time and more energy.

Slowly, I put more and more effort into falling in love. In the past, I used to think about some studies or other things before going to bed, but after falling in love, I thought about my boyfriend before going to bed. Usually when something happens to him or something that happens, the first thing that comes to mind is him.

I gradually lost myself and enjoyed myself. And I was unaware of all the changes that had happened to me.

The relationship has developed to this point, I have no sense of security of my own, and at the same time as I have no sense of security, I began to seek security from my boyfriend, from his words and deeds. But the more I looked for security, the more I felt that he was insecure by a certain behavior.

But fortunately, I was aware of the problem myself. I realized that the biggest problem actually appeared in myself, when my life was completely dependent on my boyfriend, and his words and deeds determined my words and deeds. I've lost my independence and I've lost my sense of security.

I think that in order to find security in love and marriage, you need to do the following: first, please find someone you are worthy of to start your love. I always feel that it is very important for two people to be a good match, and love that is too different will not last long, fragile and insecure.

When I was in high school, my goddess best friend and her boyfriend, Xueba, were insecure when they fell in love. Why? Because in terms of grades, Xueba is a student with the 985 goal, and my best friend only wants to be admitted, so every time the test results come down, my best friend will tell me that the gap between the two of them is too big, and she will feel that she and Xueba will not be able to go on the same road at all in the future.

Xueba is also insecure, he also feels that he is not worthy of my best friend, because in addition to being excellent in his studies, he is not comparable to him in terms of appearance, talent or family background, and my best friend's mother is also resolutely against him as a poor boy. Later, they broke up amid all kinds of worries, so the match is really important. <>

Second, be a broad-minded person. Whether the two are in love or married, how can they be so perfect, there will definitely be some unsatisfactory and some ups and downs. If your boyfriend or husband is in a bad mood and talks to you loudly that day, you will be careful, thinking that he must not love you anymore, and feel that you are very wronged, and your relationship will be in jeopardy, and sooner or later your narrow-mindedness will be consumed.

Also, when you're together, you can't completely control each other's socialization, your other half also has friends of the opposite sex, if he helps others as a friend one day, you will be jealous and vexatious, and sooner or later he will think you're too annoying, and he won't even give him basic trust, so that there is still a sense of security in the relationship? So, it's also important to be broad-minded

I believe everyone has a doubt, especially women, who don't know how to find security in love or marriage! I'm also a woman, and to be honest, I don't know how to find security! After all, everyone's definition of security is different, some people feel that security is spiritual, while others think it is material.

In fact, no matter what it is, there is nothing wrong with it.

I think that the sense of security is not given by others, but by oneself, even if others give you the spiritual food of the sea and the mountain, even if you give you the material needs of the whole body, as long as your heart is empty, then there is no sense of security!

There are usually only women who ask this kind of question, and generally no men feel insecure in their love or marriage, their nerves are relatively thick, and their ability to observe things around them is not as detailed as that of us women.

If there is something going on with a woman's spouse or partner, even if it's just the tone of the voice, we can feel it, so many times we feel insecure, and that's it.

The sense of security is something that can't be explained, and I can't grasp it. However, it is real, so I think that if you want to feel secure, you need to be strong inside. A person with a strong heart will not be swayed by the words and deeds of others, they have a strong heart and can withstand all the pressure.

If you want to feel secure, no one can give it to you, really! If you don't say it, others don't understand; As soon as you say it, people think you are unreasonable. Right?

So, in the final analysis, it's your own problem, if you feel insecure, you have to reflect on yourself, why your heart is so fragile, and a casual action or sentence can make you panic.

A sense of security can only be given to yourself, and others can't give it to you, whether it's in marriage or love, it's the same. What you can do is keep yourself busy, and when people are busy, they don't have time to think. Also, make your heart strong, so strong that you can live well even if you really lose the other person.

Since April, my friends have been more or less unhappy in their relationship issues, and I don't know if it's the energy of water reversal. Some even cause family conflicts and require a psychiatrist. When two people who love each other and one of them feels uncomfortable, it is easy to quarrel and thus affect the other person.

When a person in love is uncomfortable, it is not necessarily insecure, but insecurity must be uncomfortable, I remember my boyfriend asked me several times if I was insecure with him, and I felt that he was trying to do well. I can also feel a very down-to-earth sense of happiness when I am with him.

Xiaoqi, the little sister next to her, broke up with her boyfriend several times because of her insecurity. Because she thinks he loves to play, and her boyfriend just thinks it's normal socializing, she thinks she's too nervous and neurotic. Xiaoqi just hopes that her boyfriend can care more about him, and her boyfriend doesn't think it's good to interfere too much in his life.

I'm going to **, I've told you who I'm with, and I need the most basic trust.

Not only girls, boys actually need a sense of security, some people say that the sense of security is given by themselves, they need to be financially independent, mentally independent, yes, but in the world of feelings, they need to give meaning to each other, if a person is with you, the other party does not take care of your feelings, independent too self. Then this sense of security does not mean anything to the partner. So Xiaoqi's boyfriend took into account himself, not Xiaoqi's uneasiness, Xiaoqi needs to find something to do by herself, and can't always think idlely.

So my personal opinion is that in the world of relationships, half of the security comes from oneself and half from one's partner. We do our part well, cooperate with our partners, understand and support each other, which is the best sense of security.

In love and marriage, how to find a sense of security, two people to maintain this marriage together to help each other, considerate and trust each other's help, so that the other party feels that he is the only one he is, he will have a sense of security.

You can think about each other everywhere, and the two of you can live well together and trust each other, so that you will feel very secure with each other.

To find a sense of security in love and marriage, you must first have the ability to be strong yourself, so you don't need others to protect you, and you will bring yourself a sense of security.

How do you find security in love and marriage? I think the most important thing is trust, the main thing is to trust the other party, you can say that you have a sense of security, so you can also give yourself a high level of security.

In this marriage, many people's sense of security is given to themselves and not to you. So as long as you are good enough, the other party is willing to be good to you.

I think that in order to have a sense of security, then there should be a lot of trust between two people. And the emotional foundation of the two people is also relatively solid. Willing to work together for their family and career. It will be very fulfilling and there will be no sense of security.

How to find a sense of security in love and marriage, in this love and marriage, to find a sense of security, you must make yourself stronger, have self-confidence, and let yourself become a man who is inseparable from you, so that you will have a sense of security.

In love and marriage, if you want to find a sense of security, you need a boy to take the initiative, or a girl to take the initiative to give you a sense of security, so that they feel that you really care about him, and you can't do without you.

If you want to find a sense of security in a love marriage, then first of all, you must have a stable job, you use your own money, well, and the Gu family is basically safe.

How do you find security in love and marriage? So I think in this love and marriage, we must maintain our love and marriage, so that we will definitely find a sense of security, so our marriage is for maintenance, and love also needs to be maintained, so that there will be a sense of security.

In love and marriage, if you want to find a sense of security, you must let the other party know your feelings for her, then such feelings are the most real.

If you want to find a sense of security in love and marriage, that is, trust each other, trust each other, and you will have a sense of security.

To find security in love and marriage, two people need to have a stable emotional foundation. There should be common topics and be able to get along.

Many people are always insecure in their relationships or marriages, so what are the manifestations of insecure people? Such as sticky, "doing", suffering from gains and losses; There are also those who do not dare to enter into intimate relationships easily, let alone open themselves easily.

People often ask me "Mr. Xiujie", you say that a person's attachment pattern can be changed, for example, a person is anxious or avoidant, very insecure, can it be transformed into a secure type through hard work?

I think it is you who gives you security in love and marriage, and you can only give yourself security if you become strong and independent.

The security of love and marriage arises in the feelings of two people.

The previous marriage is a secure marriage.

How to find security in love and marriage, it is up to you, and you can be safe as you think you are.

In love and marriage, if you want to find security, you have to see if your partner really cares about you. Love you.