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1. Always compare other children with your own children;
2. Use academic performance to determine the child's future;
3. Discuss the child's shortcomings with others in front of the child, or scold the child in front of others;
4. Failing to treat children as friends, using the identity of parents to force children to be obedient, and indiscriminately forcing children to do things they don't want to do;
5. When the child has something to say, he is unwilling to listen, and when the child has an argument with others, the first thing to say is the child's fault!
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Some parents do not know how to respect their children, whether at home or in front of others, as long as their children make mistakes, they will scold or punch and kick. If such a scene happens in front of outsiders, the psychological damage to the child is great, and the child will not be able to raise his head outside and have an inferiority complex. There are also parents who find fault with their children, do not see their children's progress, and the messages they send to their children are always full of negative energy.
For example, if a child draws a picture and waits for praise from his parents with great anticipation, the parents will see all the imperfections, and more seriously, they will say that the child is not doing his job properly and scribbling. The child has been hit and will most likely never want to pick up a paintbrush again.
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Parents are the first teachers of their children, and the influence of parents on their children can be said to be decisive. Parents who do not respect their children, do not understand their children, cannot analyze problems from their children's point of view, and require their children with high standards can all hit their children's self-confidence.
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One of the favorite words we Chinese parents use when praising their children is "you are so good", but such praise not only does not encourage children, but also makes children lose confidence. "You are so well-behaved" means that the child is very well-behaved and obedient. However, the child's nature is not well-behaved, and he must jump and jump if he does not walk well; If you don't sleep well, you must sleep after your mother tells the story; I've never been very obedient to eat, either coquettish to feed, or don't eat.
Even the most well-behaved children will find ways to make trouble in front of those close to them. Therefore, as soon as the child hears the word "good", he will subconsciously refute it, and he will refute it with naughty actions - you are not right.
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Parents criticize their children for being "naughty", "stupid", "timid", "cowardly", "reckless" and other personality problems, all of which are hinting to their children: "Everything is your fault, this is irrevocable." This hint will always be swirling in the child's mind, and whenever the child shows a desire to change himself, he will come out and talk to him
You can't! ”
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It is inevitable that a child will do something wrong, such as kicking a ball and breaking a vase. The parents' first instinct is "Why is this kid so naughty!" Something like this will make the child attribute all the mistakes to his own character.
Martin Seligman said in "Teaching Optimistic Children" that whether a person is optimistic or not depends on how he interprets the bad things that happen to him. If he attributes the bad things to his own personality, he will develop a pessimistic personality.
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Parents are paying more and more attention to their children's education, which does not mean that parents can create a positive living environment for their children. Many parents only care about their children's academic performance, but do not pay attention to whether their children are happy and optimistic. As parents, you must accompany your children to grow up together and guide them to be confident, positive, optimistic and upright.
These good qualities will benefit children for a lifetime.
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There are a lot of children who will be praised for being smart. The child may also think that I am really smart and that I do math problems very quickly! Drawing in class is also the best!
However, there are many problems in the world, and the cleverness that does not put in the effort is just a showmanship, and it is useless. When a child encounters difficulties one day, he or she will experience a cliff from heaven to hell**. I wasn't smart!
When the time comes, it will destroy the child's life faith, which is uncomfortable to think about.
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Home is the most important place in a child's life, and parents are the most important people for children, but the deeper the love, the more serious the injury. Parents often hurt their children unconsciously, so what kind of behavior can hurt children? Recently, I was watching Heim Genot's "Child, Give Me Your Hand", which lists several behaviors that can hurt a child's self-confidence.
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First of all, the goals set by the parents and their children are too high, so that the children's expectations are unattainable, and their self-confidence is hit.
Secondly, parents compare the strengths of other children with the shortcomings of their own children, which hurts the children.
Third, make a big fuss, overly criticize and blame.
Fourth, there is little encouragement and impatience for children.
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Children may become arrogant, conceited, discouraged, pompous, and self-centered. The core characteristic of narcissism is to look at oneself from an inflated point of view, but this is not the case, and he will eventually hit his head in front of the facts.
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It can make children more self-confident, because constantly instilling self-confidence in children, the importance can make children more confident, and they can get better help in the future growth society, and they are no longer timid in the face of things.
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A child's self-confidence is affected by a variety of factors, and here are some of the possible ones:
1.Family environment: The family is the most important environment for a child's growth, and parents' attitudes and behaviors have a profound impact on a child's self-confidence.
A warm, supportive, and encouraging home environment can help develop a child's self-confidence, while a harsh, critical, or indifferent environment may weaken the child's self-confidence.
2.School experience: The schooling environment and peer-to-peer relationships also have an important impact on a child's self-confidence.
Positive learning experiences, good teacher relationships, and positive peer interactions can boost a child's self-confidence, while negative experiences such as learning difficulties, bullying, or rejection may weaken a child's self-confidence.
3.Achievements and Experiences: A child's success and positive experiences are essential for the development of self-confidence.
When children achieve their goals, overcome difficult problems, and are recognized, their self-confidence increases. Conversely, a string of failures or negative experiences can damage a child's self-confidence.
4.Social impact: Social and cultural context can also have an impact on a child's self-confidence. For example, discrimination in some societies based on specific gender, race, physical condition, or other characteristics can undermine a child's self-confidence.
5.Behaviors and attitudes of parents and educators: The behaviors and attitudes of parents and educators have a huge impact on a child's self-confidence. Encouraging and praising your child's efforts and achievements, and providing positive feedback and support can help your child build a positive self-identity and self-confidence.
It is important to note that each child's situation is unique, so the extent to which these factors affect will vary from individual to individual. Building a child's self-confidence requires families, schools, and society to work together to provide support, a positive environment, and opportunities to help children build a positive self-image and confidence.
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often compare their own Tuandoujia or Zai's children with other people's children, discourage children, often suppress children, criticize children, do not know how to praise children, do not find children's shining points, often ignore children's emotions, so that the behavior of the hand will make children become more and more unconfident.
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If parents often give negative to their children in their daily life, or do not pay attention to their children's suggestions or ideas, it will destroy their children's self-confidence.
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Parents often beat their children, often scold their children, often compare their children with other people's children, and often belittle their own children, saying that their children are not as good as others, and that their children are not productive based on this idea.
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As parents, we all want our children to be smart, healthy, and confident, but often we have inadvertently lowered our children's self-confidence and made them unconfident. As a mother, from the moment my child is born, I remind myself to be a good mother. Even if you don't do well, be a qualified mother.
Most moms want to think the same way I do. We can give everything for our children. As long as the child is healthy and happy.
But in reality, the shortness of parents, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, work matters, and children all affect us. To be honest, I personally don't think there are any parents who are not affected by the outside world at all. Therefore, parents need to review some of the things they often do in their daily lives, which can lead to a loss of self-confidence in their children.
The relationship is messy. These few words are great for parents whose children are afraid to choke on what they eat when they are young, so we decided to feed them when they want to eat with a spoon on their own. We are afraid that the child has just learned to walk and learn to wrestle, we can put on the child, or save the work and hold it directly, and let the child learn to play tricks and continue to hold at the stage when we should walk hard.
When the child grows up, we think it's better to learn, and it's good to draw after reading the newspaper, so we watched the painting class again, anyway, if the child has time on the weekend, we will let him learn more, but we didn't ask the child if he wants to learn or like.
Interfering too much with your child is also a sign of disrespect for your child. We parents just haven't thought about it, or think that the child is too young, he knows something, and is prevaricating. A child is an independent and complete individual.
Even if the child is young, we have to ask him to listen, instead of doing everything for him, so that when the child grows up, we call the "giant baby", you think about how the child who does not make decisions and choices from an early age should face the chaos of the future and learn to let go, so that the child has a sense of independence and knows what he wants, which should be the direction of our parenting. Parents should learn to let go, not to interfere too much with their children's behavior or decisions, and not to compare themselves with other people's children. Because the comparison is completely meaningless.
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This will make the child become very unconfident and not good at communicating with others, and will not face things at all when encountered, and will feel very intimidated. Therefore, we usually don't hit the child, in fact, we should always encourage him, and don't deny the child at will.
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Parents often hit their children's self-confidence, which can have a significant impact on the child's psychology and may make the child lack self-confidence.
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Parents often hit their children's self-confidence, which will make them have an inferiority complex, and when the child is not recognized, the child will doubt himself and form an inferiority complex.
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It will make the child very inferior, and no matter what he does, he is not motivated, and he is very afraid that he will do something wrong, which will affect the child's personality.
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It is not easy for children to lose self-confidence, and children will refuse to communicate and interact with their parents, and make children very irritable. And there will be some rebellious behavior.
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Children have self-confidence and are able to make steady progress in learning. Children have self-confidence, can be generous when dealing with others, and meet noble people; Children have self-confidence and can work hard in the face of difficulties and achieve themselves. In any case, it is definitely a good thing for children to have self-confidence, but most children often lack self-confidence in their hearts. Therefore, the most important thing in home education is the self-confidence that parents teach their children.
So, how can you educate a confident child?
1. Encourage children to participate in more physical activities.
Children love sports, they will be more energetic, their personality will be more sunny and cheerful, they will be very positive and optimistic about others, and they will have good popularity, which is of great help to the cultivation of children's self-confidence.
2. Take your child's requirements seriously.
When parents communicate with their children, they must make their children feel that their requirements are taken seriously, for example, when children come home from school, they want to play games for a while before writing homework, at this time the mother can give some responses to Lian Li: "Mom wants you to play games after writing, so that you are more focused, okay?" "Constantly ignoring your child's needs can make him feel unappreciated and lose confidence.
3. Make your child feel needed.
Many parents love their children by doing everything themselves, so that the child has no sense of existence, let alone increased confidence. Parents can use a consultative tone to let their children do what they can and let their children know that they are needed, which is a good way to improve their self-confidence.
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When the child grows up, it will always hit the child, and the child will not praise the child when he makes some delicious food, and will beat the child when the child does something wrong, and will often compare the child with other good students.
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For example, often interfering with children's choices, often abusing and complaining about children, including arguing and fighting in front of children, disrespecting children's ideas and hobbies, and often forcing children to say things that children don't like to do at all.
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Parents usually beat and scold their children all the time, never encourage their children, and do not affirm their children's behavior, no matter what their children do, parents think that they are wrong, which will destroy their children's self-confidence.
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For example, blindly interfering in children's choices will force children to do things that children don't like at all, and will blindly complain about children, or often fight and quarrel in front of children.
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Parents have a crucial influence on their children's growth and development. Their mannerisms and parenting style not only affect a child's personality and behavior, but also have a profound impact on a child's self-esteem and self-confidence. Here are some of the characteristics of parents of children who may develop low self-esteem:
Overprotective parents. Overprotective parents monitor and restrict their children's every move, preventing them from thinking and acting independently. This type of education can cause children to lose autonomy and self-confidence, and to have doubts and distrust of their own abilities.
Picky and demanding parents. This kind of parents tend to make harsh evaluations and requirements for their children's performance and achievements, and pay too much attention to and emphasize their children's shortcomings and mistakes, which is easy to make children feel inferior and anxious.
Lack of attention and support for parents. This kind of parents often ignore the emotional needs and growth process of their children, and lack encouragement and support, resulting in a lack of self-confidence and motivation for children, and inferiority complex.
Parents are often threatened and punished. This kind of parenting often uses punishment and threats to control the child's behavior, and this kind of education is easy to make the child fear and stress, so that the child's self-esteem is hurt.
Parents who treat their children as tools. This kind of parents often only pay attention to their children's hidden surface achievements and image, and regard their children as a tool to show themselves, rather than really paying attention to their children's hearts and growth. This type of education can easily make children feel used and disrespected, and lower their self-esteem.
In conclusion, the influence of parents on their children is very important. In order to raise a confident and independent child, parents need to give their child enough attention and support, while also respecting the child's personality and choices, and avoiding overemphasizing the child's shortcomings and mistakes. Parents need to establish a good communication and trust relationship with their children, guide their children to develop their own interests and hobbies, and enhance their children's self-confidence and self-esteem.
Parents want their children to grow up healthy and happy, and his growth is inseparable from the family environment and the teaching of parents, good education can make children become excellent, if the parents' improper education is not only for the child, but also for the whole family is not good, especially the following education methods, parents should pay attention to the baby, there is no benefit to the baby. >>>More
Parents shirk each other's responsibilities, they don't like to do housework, and they don't set a good example for their children. Or parents do all the housework on the left and right, and do not let the children participate in the labor together.
Because the child is curious about the world, he will become interested in all kinds of things, so he will ask his parents all kinds of questions, so parents should pay attention not to blame, do not be impatient, and do not look at him with angry eyes. This will hit the child.
First of all, the mother can't set an example, and she doesn't set rules for the child, she actually wants to control him in the name of loving the child, vents all her dissatisfaction with the father on the child, educates the child to use violence or cold violence, and dotes on the child, these behaviors will make the child develop bad habits in the future.
It may be that the parent's behavior is different from the child's philosophy, and the child will be disgusted, or the parent is too fond of controlling the child, and the child wants to express his dissatisfaction through disobedience.