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Actually, I don't think it's right for you to think like that. When I was in college, I met a lot of nice people, and they were very nice to me, and I became very good friends with them. Don't let what happens to others affect your attitude towards making friends.
You can make yourself a little more cautious about making friends, but don't refuse to let yourself make friends. The most important thing is the problem of your own mentality, you may find that the people around you will have a lot of sad things happening in the matter of making friends, they are used by friends, confused by friends, and hurt by friends.
But after all, these are all rare cases, and you will also find that some people around you will also make a lot of good friends, and you have to see those positive examples, and don't always think about these negative examples. When your mind is occupied by these negative examples, you will find that you have less courage to take the step and find someone to be friends with without fear.
You can get to know what kind of person he is from the side before becoming friends with him again, if you ask ten people and nine people say he is good and one person says he is not good, then this person is no problem, if you ask ten people and ten people say he is not good, then I suggest you still stay away from such people. Because ten people don't get along well with him, there must be some problems with this person himself, and when you get along with her, maybe the probability of you being hurt will be relatively large.
Find someone who is easier to get along with and better to make friends. Don't let your sincerity be hurt, so be cautious, cautious, and cautious when it comes to making friends. Don't be sincere to anyone, you will definitely be taken advantage of.
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A lot of people feel that they can't find good friends in college, and those people don't feel as easy to get along with as they did in high school, and they can't have the friendships they had in high school. In fact, in the face of such a time, you can think about it from another perspective. Because after all, we are getting older and growing up, and we need to think about more things, so many people around us will change, and they are not as innocent and romantic as we were children.
I feel as if a certain flavor has occurred in my current friendship.
At such times, you first have to choose friends who match all aspects of your personality. Because we have a lot of people around us to choose from, maybe one of them may become our friend. Only in the process of getting along with others will you make friends.
At the beginning of my freshman year, I also thought like you, I felt that the people around me were so scheming how to make friends, and then in my sophomore year, I tried to socialize with the people around me, and at the beginning, I must have felt particularly unfamiliar, and there was nothing to say, and then we slowly chatted to find common topics, and we became friends, and now that we have graduated, we are in constant contact.
You have to try to relate to other people, and you have to change your own thinking, not everyone is so scheming, and among many people there is always a good friend with you. Some people don't take advantage of you too much, because you don't have much value to take advantage of, because we are all students who have not gone out into society, and we don't have so many complex psychology. Then you can rest assured to try boldly and find a suitable friend in the university.
But in the process of finding friends, your circle should not be limited to your classmates, because sometimes the classmates in the class are not particularly easy to get along with, you can go to other classmates. In fact, we all have a common WeChat friend group in the university, where you can find friends who are suitable for you. In the process of making friends, you must be careful not to give your heart and not get friends after you have paid your heart.
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This kind of thinking is actually very common. When we were in high school, our goal was only to get into college, although there would be a high or low score in the college entrance examination, but a score was a grade, and there were not so many interests between each other, so the exchanges in high school were particularly simple and simple, and there was no scheming. But college is different.
College is a very realistic place. After graduating from college, you face the same competition in your job, which necessitates that you will fight to the death. You have to compete for class president, fight for activity points, fight for rankings in comprehensive assessments, scholarships, grants, activists, party members, and student union presidents.
The benefits of college are more straightforward, and college is much more complex than high school. It's the environmental factor, these competitions, are really inevitable.
When I was in high school, everyone was sincere and sincere, and what they said was one sentence, but sometimes in college, ten sentences were one sentence, and sometimes there were ten meanings in one sentence. My feeling in college is that people in college are selfish, they all want to fight for something for themselves, this desire is particularly strong, and another characteristic of university people is that they are too individualized, everyone feels that they are unique, which leads to competition, vicious competition.
I had the same thing in college. To give you an example: recently the Ministry of Sports is training radio drills, and our ministers are helping them to train, and every day is very hard.
But yesterday, when our Association for Science and Technology held a briefing, none of their ministers came to help. Winning awards in the Academic Science and Technology Festival will add a lot of activity points, and they don't come to help and want us to give them extra points, but there are no doors. The principle of my work is reciprocal, if you are good to me, I will naturally be good to you, I am good to you, but you use me, I can understand and draw a line with you.
I once saw the saying: You see me give him two pieces of candy and give you a lesson and you think I'm not good to you, but you don't know that he gave me a candy and you didn't give me anything. In interpersonal relationships, all feelings, whether it is love, family or friendship, must pay attention to a balance, and all people must achieve each other, only in this way can it be conducive to the development of feelings and interpersonal development.
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Actually, I think you're right. Because when we go to college, we have an additional relationship of interests, and many people will use their friends for their own interests, so if you don't pay sincerity to others, it is also a correct way to protect yourself.
In fact, I was very cautious about making friends when I was in college, because I was also stupid at the beginning, treating everyone as friends, but later I slowly found out that the people around me will more or less have a competitive relationship with you, for example, the struggle between departments in the university is very serious. Therefore, it is normal to not find true friends, but you should not be discouraged, because when you are slowly walking, time is changing, you are also changing, if you find friends with you who have common aspirations, after slowly contacting, you will not be defeated by these interests The friendship between you, then you will find a real friend.
So even if you don't have any real friends right now, don't think it's your problem, it's just that you haven't met it yet.
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It's like this in college, it's really hard to find a real friend, and it's even harder to find a friend who is good to you. If you have friends around you who you think are really equal, friends that you think are really good to you, then please cherish them, because it is very difficult to find someone who is true to you in college.
As the saying goes, a university is a small society, and there are many emotions mixed in this small society. The feelings in college are not as delicate as high school, not as innocent as junior high school. If you find a friend in college, chances are you'll be your future enemy.
In college, you negotiate, the most contact is your roommate, first of all, you have to get along well with your group of good roommates, this group of Xiao Duomei, only if you get along well with your roommates, I think your circle of friends doesn't matter, it will be better, and you can make real friends.
If you don't even have good contact with a few friends in your dormitory, then I think you are very unlikely to be able to make real friends in this school.
You can calculate for yourself, in college you have the most contact with your roommates when you are in class, you may be angry with yourself, maybe every time you go to occupy a classroom to go to class, you will ask your roommate to help you occupy a seat.
There is also the fact that you must not care too much when you interact with others in college, college is a relatively open era, you must let go of your mood, don't be so stingy, and be an atmospheric person. Don't take anything to heart, you must smile when you talk to others, no matter what others have done, or you are sorry for your career, you must talk to her with a smile.
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Everyone in the university has their own different living habits and their own different circles. Just like there is a saying, "different circles, don't be hard", which means that college students should find a circle they like.
Some people say that the university is a small society, it is impossible for everyone to be sincere to you, there are many people who are hypocritical, and there are many people who flatter, and they do this to get what they want, and people are selfish. No one will always be selfless, and no one will always be particularly good to you. Some people approach you for money, fame, status.
Of course, there are also people who really want to be friends with you, like-minded, can study together, and join the same community organization together. Everyone's appearance in front of you is arranged by God, we can complain but we can't stop believing that there are no good people in the school just because others are bad to us.
In college, unlike junior high school and high school, you can go out shopping together when you don't have classes, and the most important thing is to have a good relationship with the people in the dormitory. The class in the university will only meet when there is a class, and the dormitory is the people who want to spend the four years of college with you, cherish them, if you are hypocritical, no one will be friends with you, and the whole dormitory will isolate you.
Our dormitory is very caring, although it comes from all directions, as far as the northeast. But we say the same things and do the same things, go shopping together, go to the movies together, sing together, face difficulties together, be true to sincerity, you are true and I am true. Sometimes I don't want to get up, they will give me a click, and I will maintain it when I am late for class, which is how college should be, although there have been disputes and small quarrels in the dormitory, but what has changed is our relationship for more than a year.
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Classmate, I think you are a little paranoid, who is full and has nothing to do and always wants to calculate people, maybe some people are hypocritical, but how many people in this world can you find who are not hypocritical at all?
You should actually ask yourself what your definition of sincerity is that you want to find a true friend. Can you do it yourself? Don't you have a time in your life like asking someone for help?
I don't think I understand at all what is utilization and what is mutual help, but if you think that all mutual help is utilization, then you really don't want to find friends, and live alone.
And you said that you think that the people around you are very scheming, if you think one or two scheming are heavy, it is nothing, but the scope of what you said is so wide, do you think your own psychology is fine? You must be wrong to think so, or do you live in some kind of prison school? If this is really the case, then it is indeed possible that those people's scheming are heavier, but under normal circumstances, no one really studies scheming when they are full, so how tiring is it, are they trying to figure out your money or your color?
Even if it's a little hypocritical, I don't think it's anything, how many people are not hypocritical? Aren't you hypocritical yourself? You are not saints, don't be too strict with others.
I think you have to establish a correct view of friends, what is a friend, I think those who can talk and help each other can be friends, there is really no need to test anything, there are not many emotions in this world that are worth testing, in the premise that there is no interest or life and death, a lot of friendship or love is sincere. Don't think there's anything wrong with that, ask yourself, if you had just one chance to live, would you give it to someone else? I'm trying to fight for everything.
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That's what you think during the day. But when I came back in the evening, my towel was dirty again, there was oil, and the shampoo was leaking... The room is airtight, I really don't want to think about it like that... Probability Distributions... Ay!!!
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They all say that we don't conspire with each other, and sometimes it's not that we're not good, it's just that we can't get along with others. Maybe you are also distressed that you can't make sincere friends, and you always want to exchange your sincerity for sincerity, but in the end, the result is disappointment again and again. You've wanted to blend in, but that's not really your way of getting in.
In the four years of college, not being able to make friends is not the most terrible, but the most terrible thing is to grow up.
In fact, college is not only limited to roommates, some people feel that they should have a good relationship with their roommates, after all, everyone has been together for several years, but not all of the four small people can be like-minded. Therefore, if you want to make friends, you still have to participate in more activities, there are a lot of clubs in Changhan, and it is easy to make friends by meeting some excellent people and contacting more. <>
No one in college will alienate you because you live alone, everyone is busy with their own things, friends are just a stage for themselves, but if you use this time to improve yourself, the benefits will be lifelong. Therefore, don't waste your free time, don't think about some irrelevant things, let yourself learn more things, and take a few more certificates is the most important thing. <>
Life is a lonely trip, friends are passers-by on the journey, the most important thing is to make yourself happy, even if you don't have friends, you can do what you like, go shopping alone, watch movies alone, travel alone, which will make your life more meaningful. <>
If you can meet like-minded people on the road of life, you will be more lucky, even if you don't meet it, don't be discouraged, because a person's journey will be happier. Live yourself, live the present, and plan for your future is what we should do.
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