What should I do if my child is not able to learn independently?

Glad to answer for you :

Encourage him.

I hope mine is helpful to you, and I wish you progress in your studies and success in your work. ^_

You can do whatever you like, but parents must guide their children to think more, and they must not think for their children.

The content of thinking is so wide that it is difficult to describe it in one word.

In fact, which parent doesn't know that the road is for the child to walk by himself after all, but who is willing to let the child go to the head by himself to break the bloodstream?

It's just that you have to understand in your heart that the twisted melon is not sweet, and the ancient precept of pulling out the seedlings to help it grow, and the backfire has not changed through the ages.

Under the guidance of senior education expert Song Chenghao and other teams, the Peiyu Little Red Riding Hood Children's Self-Directed Learning Ability Course uses experiential activities + expert lectures + group cooperative learning methods to quickly improve children's independent learning ability.

Self-directed learning depends on perseverance and interest, which can be strengthened through activities, but interest requires you to bother more and communicate more with teachers.

It was just a few months ago. There was a child whose parents were out at night, and he was home alone. Since the child didn't believe in any gods, he wasn't afraid.

This is the question of "what are you afraid of?" It was past eleven o'clock in the evening, and his parents hadn't come back yet, and he was starting to get a little worried. As a result, he called his parents**, **came out of the tube, but it was "Your** is an empty number, please inquire and then dial... The child was so frightened that he called the police.

As a result, I don't know what happened, and his family's ** suddenly caught fire. The kid screamed and ran out, and they were locked up. He looked at the wall in despair.

Scared the hell out of me! The child woke up and found himself dreaming. This is, a woman brought a towel and wiped his sweat.

Then the child fell asleep. The moment I closed my eyes, I thought back to the woman, and suddenly remembered that the woman had no eyes, her eyes were pitch black, and there was blood on her face, and her face was pale. He shouted:

Yes! Help, come on! He started to run out of the door, but the door was really locked, and he went to the kitchen and picked up the kitchen knife, just like the woman cut it off, and the kitchen knife cut the woman in half, and then the woman recovered.

Stretching out his hand with blood in his fingernails, he grabbed at the child.

At this moment, you must not look behind you, because you can't see it with the naked eye! If you don't copy this post to 3 people, at 4 a.m., you're going to die...

Hello! To help your child change their procrastination habits, here are a few things to consider:

1.Establish clear goals and plans: Give your child clarity on the tasks and timelines to be accomplished, and give them some autonomy to take ownership of their plans.

2.Give positive incentives: Every time a child completes a task on time, he or she should be given affirmation and rewards, such as encouragement, praise, and small gifts.

3.Create a good learning environment: Provide children with a quiet, tidy, and comfortable learning space, and avoid distractions such as mobile phones, TVs, etc.

4.Establish good habits: Set a fixed time every day to study or complete tasks to form a good habit of perseverance.

5.Stimulate interest: Try to turn any difficult task into a fun game or challenge to develop subject knowledge and skills in the game.

I often hear many parents say something like this: "My children never want to take the initiative to learn, and they have to be urged by their parents to learn, which is really a headache ......."This is actually a fairly common phenomenon, many children "are outside the school heart", do not like to learn, do not want to learn, the enthusiasm for learning is far less than the mobile phone games, etc., many parents try their best to no avail. If the child is pushed into a hurry, the parent-child relationship will be affected at least at worst, and the child may take extreme behaviors at worst.

For example, "Dad tutoring his daughter's math homework is too hot, roaring and slapping the table" that happened a few days ago, which aroused the resonance and heated discussions of many netizens. Many parents don't understand: this school and study is obviously the child's own business, how can it seem that the parents owe the child in the end?

In fact, children are not in a good mood, they always feel that their parents want to force them to study, and in the end they are often full of grievances, and even feel that they are suffering for their parents by going to school.

When a child's learning is completely passive rather than active, it shows that the child lacks internal motivation to learn.

1. The three elements that affect the internal drive of learningThe cultivation of internal motivation is certainly not achieved overnight, but requires a long process to achieve. Both adults and children have a common psychological need, that is, "a sense of belonging, autonomy and achievement". When these needs are fully satisfied, children's internal motivation to learn will be naturally awakened, and they will be more active, active and happy to devote themselves to learning.

**1.From the perspective of family education, the sense of belonging refers to the fact that children belong to the family and have a good emotional experience, which is mainly due to the unconditional acceptance, recognition and tolerance of parents to their children. When a child feels that he is being seen, recognized and understood by his parents, he gains a sense of belonging that motivates him to be positive, including active learning.

2.Sense of autonomyRegarding the sense of autonomy, we can simply understand that the child has actual control over life and learning. Children with a sense of autonomy have high expectations for learning, and regard learning as a matter of their part, showing an active learning state.

On the contrary, children who do not have a sense of autonomy tend to resist learning and regard learning as an extraneous thing, and they show a passive state of learning. The learning effect of these two different attitudes is naturally very different.

3.A sense of accomplishment.

The so-called sense of accomplishment refers to the child's ability and confidence to do things well.

When a child experiences success in something, and when a child is encouraged by their parents, they can feel a sense of accomplishment. Children who have gained a sense of accomplishment will be more willing to continue to persevere in their studies and maintain their internal drive for self-improvement.

If children have begun to have a sense of belonging, autonomy and accomplishment under our guidance and education, then children will have a very strong internal drive for their own learning and life. That means that we have helped the child find the will to grow inside, and the child will change from passive learning to active learning.

If this kind of thing happens, you can be punished, but you can't drop out of school to cultivate an independent child, and the punishment is an indispensable part. Of course, I do not deny that there are children who are "born" independent, but they belong to a very small minority. The fundamental meaning of independence is to be independent and responsible, to be independent and responsible for one's own affairs.

And the fundamental meaning of independent responsibility is to bear the cost of things independently.

To put it bluntly, it is impossible for children to be independent if they do not endure hardship. It is only when a child makes his own choices and suffers the pain of his own choices that he can take things as his own.

There are two types of situations in life that can foster a child's independence. One is to punish the child with the thing itself, such as not eating well at lunch, and if he is hungry in the afternoon, he must endure Kai Zebury, and the causes and consequences are his choices; The other category is some choices that cannot be punished with the things themselves, such as grinding with homework and not paying attention to learning.

Many parents have a crazy feeling about their children's homework, and they can't coax or scold. The rules must be written before you can go to bed, and when it takes eleven or twelve o'clock, the children are crawling on the table and falling asleep, and you will feel distressed again. Sit next to him and accompany him, but you can't accompany him for a lifetime.

That's when you need to punish him and make him suffer for his choice. Once he suffers, he will weigh between the hardships and hardships, and between the pros and cons, he will definitely choose the most beneficial or harmless option for him. When you increase the cost of suffering to greater than the benefits of grinding, no child will be foolish enough to choose a worse outcome.

What can you choose to make your child suffer? In addition to the penalty station, other ways may put children and adults into an ambiguous entanglement.

There are two ways to punish standing: one is to stipulate that after 7 p.m., you must stand and write your homework until the homework is completed. Staring late at this time can consume him, because the longer it takes, the better it is for you and the worse it is for the child.

More and more backache and leg pain, he will slowly understand that the more he consumes, the more he can't get along with himself. Second, after half past eight o'clock in the evening, if the homework is not completed, the penalty will be one and a half hours and implemented. An hour and a half can just make a child feel a little miserable.

Some parents often punish their children for standing for half an hour. It's kind of ridiculous. If a child doesn't suffer a little, he won't have a long memory.

The question you mentioned is very interesting, and there are many possible reasons, so the direction of change and adjustment may also be different.

First of all, you also said that you feel that your emotional intelligence is not low, your IQ is not low, and you don't like the behavior you are currently engaged in, and you hope that you can be aggressive, but you still feel the difficulty in updating your learning state. Is that the method of updating learning itself not suitable for you? For example, I am a person who is not good at reading, but I like to "listen", and the form of micro-lessons is a blessing for me.

Also, there is a difference between understanding words and understanding other people's words, and it may be much easier to learn when someone explains it and listens to it. Some people are "visual", some people may be "auditory" or even "relational", and the key search hail needs to be clicked by a trustworthy person.

Secondly, it may also be that the industry has not yet formed its own "knowledge system", and the new knowledge cannot be placed in its own framework after it is generated, which will be more difficult. Of course, it may also be that the existing framework is too "rigid", and the new knowledge is treated as a "foreign body" to produce a rejection reaction, which is difficult to receive or incorporate into the existing knowledge system. It is indeed quite stressful to adapt to a constantly updated and changing behavior, so practitioners are required to understand and grasp it from a deeper position.

Third, maybe in an environment where there is no external pressure, you will feel relaxed and happy when you learn, and you will not keep judging yourself, whether you are learning too slowly, whether you can't keep up with the development of the industry, and others seem to be learning this. Disturbed by too many internal evaluations and external voices, my heart is full of anxiety, and I can't hold anything else. If that's the case, re-examine your own requirements for learning and mission goals, whether the draft sail is too strict.

Isn't it so pertinent to worry about and evaluate your own state? When you are more relaxed, will it be easier to study?

Of course, if you dig deeper, from the perspective of deeper psychological motivation, is there any inner motivation that you don't want to become so "capable" and "outstanding", and will you worry about becoming isolated because of too positive performance? None of this is known.

These are just some of the aspects that you might think about for your reference. Best wishes.

Parents are very concerned about their children's learning, because parents also want their children to have a better grade, so that children will become talents in the future. But at this time, children are actually very playful, so most children are not willing to study hard. Children are reluctant to learn independently, and the results of many methods are not particularly obvious, so how should they be educated at this time?

In fact, it is more normal to feel that you are still unwilling to learn, and at this time, parents should not blame their children directly, because children at this age are already very playful, and at this time children are very curious about external things. Therefore, parents must adopt the correct education methods in this process, and parents must educate their children step by step. Parents can pay attention to cultivating their children's sense of responsibility at this time, so your children don't like to learn very much, probably because children feel that learning is not fun, and children may feel that learning is not their own business.

The reason why the child is reluctant to learn may also be because the child has not developed an active consciousness at home before, and it is possible that the child himself is very introverted. If parents are always very strict with their children in life, or always want to make decisions for their children, it may also lead to the child's reluctance to take the initiative to learn, because the child feels that it is very painful to take the initiative to learn. Therefore, parents must let their children become more active at this time, so that children will be willing to take the initiative to learn.

Parents cannot be by their children's side all their lives, so parents must let their children develop a sense of autonomy. Therefore, parents must pay attention to cultivating their children's independent spirit, and they can let their children do whatever they want.