Ask for super classic cold jokes very cold and funny .

1 Today I went to the school to get my graduation certificate, and I was happy to pull my buddy who passed by all the way and asked, "Hey, what is this school called?" The buddy glared at me and said fiercely, "How do I know, I'm just a freshman!" ”（

2.On the birthday of a female friend, the four of us discussed sending her a "Happy Birthday" at zero o'clock, and each of us sent a word, and I received the second one. As a result, none of them sent it.

3.The student went to the toilet between classes, and found that he didn't bring any paper, and he couldn't wait for anyone, and his mobile phone was in arrears. In desperation, he called 10086 and asked for help. . .

It is said that there was silence for a long time, and then ......A classmate in his class received such a text message during class: Dear China Mobile user, hello, your classmate is in the toilet, and asked you to send him a piece of paper. For more information, please call 10086

4One day, an eggplant was walking down the street, and suddenly he sneezed a big sneeze, and he wiped his snot and said angrily: "It's a group photo again!"

5Who is the most dedicated in fairy tales? Answer: Mermaid, because she doesn't *split legs....

6 Q: Where do users like to shut down the most? Answer: Ningbo Q: Why? Answer: "Sorry, the user you dialed has been turned off" ......

7There was a man who felt that his feet were very sore as he walked, and when he looked down, he stepped on a lemon!

8There was a bag of laundry detergent in the bath, washing, washing, washing, and suddenly foaming at the mouth and dying...

9A polar bear was lonely on the ice in a daze, and when he was bored, he began to pluck his own hair and play, one ......Two ......Three ......There was not a single one left in the end, and he suddenly screamed .........It's so cold!! ...

10There was a fat pigeon that walked into the atrium from the balcony, bravely pulled a piece of and floated away! Don't be obsessed with pigeons, pigeons are just a legend.

If you're racing against an animal, if you're running ahead of a beast, you're more than a beast.

If you're running behind a beast, you're not even as good as a beast.

1. It hurts to be slapped in the face by life, if you say that you are not afraid, life will feel that your face is big.

2. The weather is too cold, everything is frozen and hard, and even my bank account number is frozen today.

3. When I ate in the restaurant, I saw that the chicken soup was black and turbid, and it looked very unclean, so I called the boss to ask, and the boss said calmly: The soup is no problem, because this is a black chicken! I snorted coldly:

How can black chickens be sold so cheaply? The boss hurriedly apologized: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

turned around and shouted: Waiter, the 60 yuan chicken at table 10 was miscalculated, and it was changed to 130!

4. Ask: "There is a fool on the plane to remove the toilet and throw it down, may I ask why?" Answer: "I'm not stupid and don't know!" ”

5. There are no people in this world, but they are all kites flying in the bed.

6. No one is easy in life, even Sicong has to worry about how to spend money every day.

7. Zhuangzi and Huizi swim on the beam. Zhuangzi said: "Fish travel calmly, it is the joy of fish."

Keiko said: "Zifei fish, the joy of knowing fish? Zhuangzi said:

The son is not me, and I know that I don't know the joy of fish? The son said: "Knowing the son is more than the father."

8. So far, the mortality rate after birth has remained at 100 percent, which is still high.

9. A: "Do you have 10,000 in your hand now?" Call me with 10,000 words. B: "Yes, yes, but it's useful for me to keep it!" A: "Please, it's been an afternoon, you can fulfill me!" ”

10. "Uncle, let me interview you on the spot, how many years have you been doing morning jogging and exercising?" "Girl, don't get in the way! I'm in a hurry to urinate! ”

11. The woodcutter's axe fell into the river, and the river god gave him a gold axe and a silver axe to reward his honesty, and the woodcutter returned home happily, only to find that the two axes the river god had bought from Pinduoxi, one was a full axe, and the other was a very axe.

12. Before you become bald, you don't feel responsible for every hair that falls out.

The two armies faced each other in the valley, and the guards came in to report the enemy: report to the commander, the enemy reconnaissance plane was taking pictures of us. Sir: Pass my orders - no laughs!

I was idle in the office today, playing with a magnet, and was seen by the leader. The leader reached out to take it, but with a "whoosh", the magnet attracted the leader's gold ring, which was embarrassing.

It's almost Valentine's Day, and last night I was downstairs shopping, and the boss asked me, "Does Mr. buy flowers?" "What are you buying flowers for?" "Buy flowers for a girlfriend" "Oh, how many flowers can I buy to get a girlfriend? Then the boss silently took back the flowers...

The fish said, "I keep my eyes open because I am reluctant to leave by your side." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day long, in order to carry you up around you." The pot said, "It's almost ripe and you're still so stubborn." ”

Cold joke refers to the joke itself because of boredom, homophonic words, translation, or omitting the subject, different logic, assertion or special content, or due to the performer's tone or expression, etc., resulting in a joke can not achieve the purpose of being funny, and it is difficult to make people laugh and become cold, but it does not mean that the joke itself is dull, which is also a manifestation of humor. In addition, a bad joke is a kind of joke, but it is very different, and the four main characteristics of a bad joke are that it is based on the Internet, thorough entertainment, the duality of its own value, and the post-emergence >

1.Xiaobai + Xiaobai = ? Little White Rabbit (Little White Two).

2.There was a stag walking on the road, and he walked faster and faster,,, what did it become in the end? Freeway.

3.There is a little rabbit walking in the forest. He took two steps forward to look to the left, two steps forward and then to the right... Take two more steps forward and look behind you... Why is that? Because he likes it.

4.Mr. Banana and his girlfriend are walking on the road... They got hotter and hotter as they went, and then Mr. Banana said. It was so hot,,, so he took off his clothes... As a result, his girlfriend fell...

5.There was a little bird that flew over a cornfield when it happened to the cornfield**, and then the bird died, why is that? Because the corn field happened **, the corn turned into popcorn, and he thought it was snowing... So he froze to death...

6.Coffee cups and glasses cross the street, why did the glasses crash and die, but the coffee cups didn't? Because coffee cups have ears, whereas glasses don't have 、、、

7.There was a bird that came to rest in a tree, and a hunter came, and the hunter fired a shot at the bird, and the bird was shot. But why didn't he fall? Because she is strong ...

8.There was a little duckling named Xiao Huang, he was walking on the road, suddenly a car came, hit him, he croaked, and then what did it become? Gherkins (small yellow gua).

Rabbit jokes.

The little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery and asked, ".

Once upon a time, there was a tiger nation with a brother and sister. The elder brother is clairvoyant, and the younger sister is the ear of the wind. My brother always tells my sister what he sees from afar.

My sister also told my brother what she heard from afar. As time went by, they had feelings. However, paper can't contain the fire after all, and their love is known by their father.

For the sake of his love, his brother was blinded, and his sister cut off his ears. Together, they embarked on a hard journey. Hundreds of years later, a ** family found out about this, wept bitterly, and made a song for them:

Two tigers, two tigers, running fast, running fast, all the time without eyes, all the time without ears, it's weird, it's weird.

In school, a fire drill was held, and a male classmate almost took this as real, so he returned to get a new handkerchief, and the classmates next to him laughed at him, which was really a big loss of face.

"I'm going to be the King of the Sea! The Shanghai police are very powerful. ”

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her:

As soon as her boyfriend ran away, he heard Xiaomei shouting behind him:

There was a match that tickled on the head and scratched it.

As a result, it spontaneously combusted and died.

A steamed bun, walking and walking, hungry, so he ate himself.

Go read the book "All the Hair Is Plucked"! The comic book version of the cold joke, it's funny.