Why do I always like to abandon others, and will you give up because the person you like likes someo

Me too, I guess you're lonely.

Although it is a very happy thing to be able to find someone you really like emotionally, but many times for some couples, the person they have liked for many years is likely to be unable to be with them in the end, and they have to give up the relationship helplessly, although this process will make you fall into a period of pain and confusion, but this is also a process of making yourself grow and mature.

As far as I am concerned, the reason why I will give up the people I like for many years is that the main thing is that I was still relatively young at the time, and my understanding of feelings is still very superficial, and the reason why I like each other is that I lack a real understanding of each other, just because of the other party's nonsense, because of the ignorant feeling and impulse in my heart, I fell in love with each other, and then let myself fall into a state of paranoia and confusion.

But as I grow older, my mind is becoming more and more mature, and my life is getting richer and richer, gradually, I also realized that the people I like for many years are not as perfect as I imagined, and after the two people really interact together, I find that there is a big difference between each other, and even two people are difficult to really communicate, and there is a relatively big difference between the two people in the three views, in this case, I gradually have a doubt about the relationship I once had. Gradually realized that I may not have found a person who is really suitable for me, this person I like for many years, can not really bring happiness and joy to myself, when I weigh it again and again, I gradually realized that for this person who likes for many years, I should still choose to give up, which is a good thing for me and for each other, and I hope that in the future, each other can pursue their true happiness.

I think that I give up the person I love because the other party doesn't have me in his heart at all, maybe this liking is just my wishful thinking, the other party's feelings for me may not be so strong together, or it may be that I feel that there is no pressure, and my existence in his world is also dispensable. One. Touching each other's bottom line In our daily life, we all know that everyone has their own bottom line, whether it is in feelings or moods, when we ask about our bottom line, we will be very angry, so we should respect other people's lives and don't touch other people's bottom lines.

When I got out of the customs and the other party withdrew, although I was the person I loved very much, I did the saddest thing for myself, and many people couldn't accept this status quo. There is also something that makes the other party particularly disappointed, sometimes disappointed, will completely give up the relationship, although they love each other deeply, they will leave when they have saved up enough disappointment. One can't help but ask, why do you feel sad during and after a breakup?

Cognitive psychology explains this phenomenon by saying that when we break away from a relationship, it is a kind of social rejection, which means that we are excluded from a certain social relationship. It's a psychological tendency that has been formed, and you suddenly make a change, but the habit is still there, so you will not adapt to it, and you need to adjust. In addition, we can also communicate with people who have experienced and felt about falling out of love, which will help you to come out as soon as possible, and it will also make you grow, and then you will find that things are universal, and you are not alone in this kind of sadness, and "everyone is the same" will make you feel much better.

In short, no matter what pain we go through and what setbacks we encounter, we must have a good attitude to help us grow and mature.

Just as Amu's song sings about a kind of love called letting go, if you really like someone in your heart, then we often have to choose to let go.

Because we have to understand one thing, really like a person, really love a person, not to possess each other, but to let the other party live a happier and happier life in daily life, to be able to really find the life that we are looking forward to in our hearts, if we like a person and find that we have no ability, no conditions to make this person truly happy and happy, then even if it has become a couple with the other party, in this case I will choose to let go, Because I just want to maintain my inner feelings, if I choose to be with the other person, I will feel very guilty in my heart, and this guilt may stay with me for a long time.

And from another point of view, feelings can not be forced and forced, if you really like a person in your heart, and after confessing to the other party, the other party does not accept yourself, then in this case, you must also make it clear that if you continue to pursue and force the other party, then it will only make the other party's impression of yourself worse and worse, and it will also make the two people get along more embarrassingly in the future, so in this case, adjust your mentality and choose to let go, It is the best result for yourself, maybe with the passage of time, your liking for each other will gradually dissipate, and you will find the other half that is really suitable for you, find your true love, and find a person who you like in a real sense.

People who often feel abandoned are often the ones who abandon others first in their hearts. The root cause of this sense of abandonment is "self-abandonment", which leads to the automatic thinking that "others will abandon me". So there will always be involuntary doubts and defenses about the world around them.

Because of my own efforts, I still can't fully adjust myself. Whenever I don't have a good relationship with someone I consider a friend, I feel a strong sense of abandonment. This sense of abandonment made me more impulsive and affected my normal life.

Socially, I want to try to fit into an environment where you have your own views and analyses, and you can see that you are a reflective person, although sometimes reflection can make you feel painful, or you don't find a good direction, but I want to leave it to you the opportunity to find the root cause and promote change. You may have discovered that there is a gap between you and the outside world, and this gap has made you feel a sense of abandonment, and sometimes you will deliberately confuse this difference and apologize against your will. Of course, there may be a vicious circle here.

Because the outside world is alienated from you, so you are more deliberate to maintain your independence and self-esteem, but you have to participate in enough interpersonal communication, which is part of our own inner needs, and it is also a necessary skill to adapt to life, but when you encounter setbacks in the process of communication, you will apologize yourself to apologize, and the result of the apology is to make you feel very unhappy, which adds to the dissatisfaction and alienation from the outside world. This is the daydream that most lonely people have, both as a result and as a result of our inability to have good relationships. Because of being too obsessed with one's own world, the perception of reality is often disjointed, so when it is found that reality is inconsistent with one's own fantasy, the frustration and anger generated are also extremely strong.

That's why you have to anticipate in advance what will happen to him, because you've been living in your own subjective world. Let go of your inner illusions and go out into our objective world, or at least partly when you find that the objective world is not in line with your assumptions, you need to realize that this is what it is, and you need to adjust your perception to the newly discovered facts, rather than suffering because of this difference. People who are alienated from the world tend to have a very high safety barrier, protecting their self-esteem in case they are being harmed.

However, this barrier not only blocks the harm of the outside world, but also blocks the freedom of oneself to go out of the outside world. I sometimes think, in fact, the pain is all the time, you will feel pain if you don't go out, and you will feel some pain when you go out, so what kind of pain is more valuable to you in the long run? It's not that the world is abandoning you, but you've been carefully avoiding it, worrying about encountering more situations you didn't expect, worrying about being hurt.

I don't know if you agree with it, people who like to anticipate everything are very vigilant. Of course, it is right to do some planning in advance, but if the conditions of this anticipation are based on what your supervisor envisions how others will behave.

The first thing to ask yourself is, do you take every relationship seriously? Ask yourself again, are those people who are so-called loved by you worthy of your love? Why do you love them?

If I don't love you, why do I have to accept your love? Vanity, possessiveness? Such a person is not worth your effort in itself.

Some feelings are destined to be unrelated to you. I hope that next time you can see clearly whether this person is worthy of your love, and then consider whether to pay.

You can try to communicate and talk with people, of course, in these communications, such as chatting, you don't take it too seriously, don't be too stubborn, and you just have to understand what opinions you have.

Uncomfortable, painful, and a feeling of heartbreak, thinking of the past will make you want to cry uncontrollably, thinking why you should be so cruel to yourself, and the world in your eyes has all turned gray.

That's because you're too willful, so you have to be reserved, keep a little distance from him, distance produces beauty, catching up is not a deal, the more clingy you are, the more difficult he is.

Let's find out if there's something wrong with the reason from yourself, so you can take a look.

Others are the mirror of yourself, and if you cry in the mirror, the mirror will cry in front of you. You smile at the mirror, and the mirror smiles at you. It was helpful to you, please give it a thumbs up, thank you!

People don't want to be as tall as people.

In addition to emotionally, we can see that there is a type of person in life who is indeed like this, they are really "good" in their interactions with people, and when others ask him to borrow money, he will always borrow; When others asked him to bring food, he would always bring it; When others make fun of him, he is always not angry; In short, he just treats the people around him hard, and feels that he is moved by the heavens and the earth, why can't he move you.

But in fact, if you are a bystander, you will find that what they call "good" to others is actually that they have requirements for others. To be more precise, it is a certain dependence on others in a certain aspect. For example, when he is bullied, he is angry and dare not speak, and in order to protect himself, he makes some compromising behaviors, but he actually relies on others to let him go, so he tries his best to please the other party; This is just a means of self-preservation for the weak to survive.

For another example, when others ask him to borrow money, he actually doesn't want to borrow, but out of fear of offending others, he borrows, in fact, he is afraid that he will not borrow when others ask him to borrow money, and at this time he will have one less friend, afraid that if he falls into trouble in the future, he will be isolated and helpless, and there is no one around him to help him.

Therefore, learn to accept yourself, don't be shorter than others, constantly improve yourself, do not rely on others, live your own life, and you will not have the worry of being abandoned by others!

It shows that you are very unconfident and think too highly of the other party, and you feel inferior to him everywhere, in fact, the other party will form a happy family with you if you love you, so manage your own feelings carefully, how can you be abandoned.

That's because you're too insecure, that's why you have that feeling, don't rely too much on others, slowly become independent, in fact, you don't have to be attached to anyone, and become stronger.

Feeling that I will be abandoned is a psychological effect of myself, thinking too much, thinking confused, and in a trance.

There are generally three situations in which you feel that you will be abandoned:

One is a lack of self-confidence.

The other is a lack of confidence in society.

The third is the fantasy desire to be abandoned (the Internet has seen too much).