Occasionally, I feel particularly insecure, how to heal myself or discover myself

Actually, you are very similar to me, I am a junior in college, tell me my story. After I went to college, I didn't really think of people as friends, because I felt that friends at this time were full of utilitarianism and unreliable I often liked a person, or I was alone every day in college except for the dormitory. Sometimes I want to find a classroom with no people, but I find it, but I suddenly can't calm down, I think I like to be lonely, but when I am really alone, I am afraid of loneliness.

Sometimes I miss the carefree days of the past, but I can't go back after all.

Actually, I think everyone has their own style, we don't need to force self-suggestion, what should I do, or what I shouldn't do, it doesn't make sense, you are yourself, therefore, what you described above is a real you, and you don't need to heal yourself.

You're lonely, scared, bored, closed!

The main thing is that you close yourself!

The only solution is to open your heart and let your heart fly. It's not easy for some people, but it has to be so, participate in more entertainment activities of the people around you, try to interject, chat, take the initiative to talk about something you are good at, let others be familiar with you, and integrate with the collective.

A lot of people now have this symptom, mainly because of the lack of well-being, plus a series of social influences. The best thing to do is to read some books, communicate with different people, and get out and about. Think for yourself occasionally.

Because of uncertainty, anesthetize myself, I am loved.

A sense of security is a Chinese word, pinyin is ān quán gǎn. Literally the feeling of being safe and secure. It is the psychological need for stability and security.

It belongs to the inner spiritual needs of the individual. A sense of security is a premonition of possible physical or psychological danger or risk, as well as an individual's sense of powerlessness in coping with things, which is mainly manifested as a sense of certainty and control.

Life RevelationsFace yourself, you don't have to take full responsibility for life.

Insecure people always feel that they have to do something or have to be in a state of anxiety in order to cope with unknown changes. So first of all, we must learn to admit the fact that life is inherently insecure, and not because you worry a little more, there will be fewer variables.

You don't have that much responsibility and ability to change the way the world works. Don't mythologize your "agency", your anxious emergency state won't change because of it.

Why no one loves you, you are insecure, it means that you are not mature and not independent, to change your heart, to change your mindset is to change your life, everyone is actually lonely, people must learn to accept loneliness, adapt to independence so that they will not rely on others, although they are loved happily, they are short-lived, after all, no one will love you all the time, so you have to be independent.

That's a delusion, how can no one love themselves, your loved ones are silently loving you, so don't think about it all day.

This is because you are not confident enough in yourself, you don't love yourself, and it is difficult for others to love you. As long as you work hard to improve your abilities and polish your character, this feeling will naturally disappear.

I'm the same as you, I didn't feel secure in my previous relationship, and then I calmly thought about the reason, and I found that it may be caused by these points, and I don't know if I can help you. 1. The other party is too good, and I feel that I am not worthy of the fact that your object may be a very good person, the kind of person with his own halo, and you are relatively ordinary, so in the relationship, you will have a kind of inferiority complex, followed by sensitive bad emotions, afraid of being disliked by the other party because you are not good enough, and then have no sense of security. Second, the other party does not give you enough sense of security, perhaps because of some of the other party's behaviors make you feel uneasy, for this point, you can choose an appropriate time file dust machine, explain to the other party, and explain clearly, so as to increase the sense of security of the two people.

Third, the trust in people is relatively poor, which is my relatively big letter stupid rock shortcoming, because the injury of my ex caused me to slip into the relationship to become distrustful, in the relationship dust became very insecure, this is a process that takes time to heal, can only be slowly over time. For the sense of security, we can try to look at it with our hearts, not to see what he said to you, but to see what he did to you, try to let go of the scruples in our hearts, and trust the other party little by little, so as to increase our sense of security.

Anxiety and impetuousness, maybe it's not just the performance of a certain character in a TV sketch show, but it has become a common problem in the current society. Of course, you are also welcome to leave a message and say those unique moments in your life;

1. When the mobile phone is out of battery or you forget to bring it.

2. I forgot to bring the key or access card in the bag.

3. Go to a strange place to do things alone.

4. When working independently, encounter work items that you don't know how to start at all.

5. When you quarrel with your lover and run away from home in discouragement.

6. When the balance of the bank card is insufficient.

7. The moment when you feel your shoelaces loose while walking or running.

8. When you are walking outside by yourself, without a backpack or without carrying anything in your hand.

9. Unfamiliar sales**, when you can say too much private information in an instant.

10. When you call ** and send a message to find the other party but you can't get in touch.

11. When taking an airplane through air flow fluctuations.

12. Look at the time when the lock picker uses a very simple tool to open the lock.

13. Buying a house pays when all the savings of the past few years have been spent.

14. When the other party wants to look at your mobile phone, he will judge the old.

What causes insecurity in relationships? It may be because of the lack of family affection in childhood, it may be a sense of distrust of a lover, or it may be a manifestation of a lack of self-confidence. Insecurity is a psychology that everyone has, in fact, women are more likely to be insecure than men.

Insecurity can affect our personality and our lives, so it's important to identify the source of insecurity and address it. The sense of security may come from a lack of family affection, and most people lack a sense of security, and this comes from the lack of family affection in the original family in childhood. It may come from a distrust of the lover, which is more or less subjective from a certain point of view.

Especially when it comes to contact with the opposite sex, or because the other person is careless and often ignores your emotions, such a lover is more likely to be insecure. It can also come from a lack of self-confidence, in addition to true love, the reason why you are worried about losing is that you think you can't find someone better than your current one, and the reason why you are afraid of the other person leaving is that you don't have the confidence to keep the other person. In fact, when a person has an abundance of appearance, wealth, and personal worth, he basically reduces the likelihood of anxiety and fear, because even if he will break up, then he has the faith in miracles and the capital to start over.

Frankly, the insecurity is not a lack of reins.

As far as I can see, girls who suffer from their husbands, although they are ostensibly insecure, actually have certain reasons for being insecure. Here's an example. In sibling love, if the sister who tends to be conservative in concept reluctantly accepts her brother, there will be a feeling that her brother does not belong to her and will leave her at any time.

And if the age difference between sister and brother is very big at this time, such as 10 years old, my sister is easy to be sad and bitter, which is very normal, because she cares too much about her brother and understands that the world has all kinds of difficult settings for sister and brother love, and she has a premonition or premonition that this relationship is too difficult. Of course, the younger brother doesn't care too much, after all, they are young and prosperous, but the elder sister suffers from gains and losses, and she is very lacking in this relationship. At this time, the younger brother no longer understands, and he doesn't understand the psychological pressure of his sister, so he asks his sister to do the rolling call method of treating his sister of the same age or his sister's Dazhou-type love, and I don't understand why my sister is so unconfident and insecure, then it's okay, most of this relationship doesn't have to start.

This example may not be 100% in line with the subject's situation, but what I mean is that you are so anxious and insecure, in addition to these superficial reasons, there must be deeper fatal reasons. If you don't dig them out, this time, this high oak boy you and him because no.

There are many factors that can make people feel insecure in life, and here are some of the most common ones:

1.Financial problems: Financial hardship, unstable wages, not having enough savings, being in too much debt, etc., can all lead to people feeling insecure.

2.Relationship problems: Unstable, unhealthy or insecure intimate relationships, such as infidelity or violence by an intimate partner, family conflict or disharmony between family members, can have a negative impact on a person's emotional well-being.

3.Health problems: Chronic or severe physical illnesses, mental health issues such as chronic pain, anxiety or depression can all make people feel insecure physically and psychologically.

4.Job problems: Job instability, difficulties in career development, excessive work pressure or unfriendly work environment can all have a negative impact on an individual's sense of professional security.

5.Environmental issues: Living in an unstable or unsafe neighborhood, being at risk of criminal activity or natural disasters, or living in unhygienic, unstable environments can lead to people feeling insecure.

6.Psychological problems: Psychological factors such as inner distress, anxiety, fear, and uncertainty may also have a negative impact on an individual's overall sense of security.

In the case of insecurity, it is advisable to take appropriate measures on a case-by-case basis. This may include increasing financial savings, seeking emotional support or professional counseling, improving healthy habits, seeking stability and development opportunities at work, finding a safe living environment, learning to cope with stress, and developing a positive mental attitude. At the same time, communicating and sharing experiences with people you trust can also help mitigate the negative effects of a lack of security.

Factors that contribute to a general feeling of insecurity may include the following:

Economic instability: Economic hardship, unemployment, poverty, and other economic problems can make people feel insecure and insecure.

Social unrest: Social issues such as social unrest, high crime rates, wars, etc., can also make people feel insecure.

Relationship problems: Relationships with family, friends or partners that are strained, unstable, or lack of support and trust can also lead to insecurity.

Health problems: Health problems of oneself or family members, such as illness, accidents, etc., may also cause people to feel insecure.

Psychological problems: Psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, fear, etc., can make people feel insecure.

Environmental disasters: Natural disasters (e.g., floods, hurricanes, etc.) or environmental issues (e.g., pollution, climate change, etc.) can also make people feel insecure.

Please note that the above are only factors that may cause people to feel insecure in general, and the specifics vary from person to person. If you feel insecure, it is advisable to talk to someone close to you, seek professional help or take appropriate steps to deal with the problem and resolve the issue.

There are still many people who fail to maintain a good sense of trust in intimate relationships. Even many people know that it is wrong for them to do so, but they cannot control themselves. I think the main reasons are as follows:

1. Personal cognitive factors. Some people, due to life experience and other reasons, lead to their own sensitivity and affection. In addition, they themselves will be more inclined to a more absolute cognition when facing all the events in the world.

For example, they think that "a good person will never do something bad", "if you love me, you will not oppose me", and so on. When people with such characteristics encounter a partner who does something that they do not envision, their trust in their partner will collapse in an instant. 2. Partner behavior factors.

There is a part of distrust, in fact, it is also inseparable from the partner. For example, some partners are secretive about their personal experiences and thoughts, and always avoid talking about them, which will naturally cause the other half to fall into a whirlpool of anxiety and suspicion. In addition, if the partner always tells some unnecessary lies about trivial things in life, it will also cause a decline in the trust of the other half.

After all, the other party can't tell which of your words is true and which is false. 3. Factors of getting along mode. If two people in an intimate relationship have a huge pattern of getting along.

At the end of the day, security is a "conviction" and insecurity is a fear.

If a person has a strong sense of security in an intimate relationship, she will have a "sense of certainty" in her partner and herself, and you believe that you hit him ** and he didn't answer because he really had something to do and not an excuse; You believe it's true that he's on a business trip, not behind your back; You believe that he won't love you one day and won't love you the next.

And if a person is not secure in an intimate relationship, what she experiences inside her is the "fear" of losing the other person, and this fear makes people prone to gains and losses. If he doesn't pick me up, isn't he chatting with other girls? If he says he's going on a business trip, isn't it possible he's lying to me? Although he said he loves me today, will he not love me tomorrow?

Our sense of security in intimate relationships is formed by a part of our innate temperament and our interactions with our nurturers in our early life. You may be surprised why intimacy is linked to parent-child relationships.

Because in these relationships, what we experience is a deep "attachment".

Our attachment to another life means that we open up the weakest and most vulnerable parts of ourselves to the other person. And this requires extreme trust and the certainty that you will survive even if you are injured.

People with anxious attachment are usually more sensitive to potential threats in intimate relationships, that is, to the "possibility of abandonment and loss", and this sensitivity and fear may cause anxious attachment people to make a lot of "confirmation" behaviors in intimate relationships, such as repeatedly asking their partner to tell their love, repeatedly confirming their partner's whereabouts, etc., because only a variety of commitments will calm the anxiety of "loss".

However, excessive "confirmation behavior" is likely to wear your partner out, and if he happens to be another person with an avoidant attachment, then it is easier to want to escape the relationship.