Ask for a 100 word joke, tell a joke in 100 words?

Dad: Is lamb delicious?

Baby: Delicious.

Dad: Eat slowly, don't gobble.

Baby: By the way, Dad, why do wolves eat sheep?

Dad: Because wolves are very bad animals.

Baby: What about the sheep?

Dad: Of course sheep are very kind animals.

Baby: The teacher said to be kind, so why do we still eat sheep?

Dad: Because. Because we can't make good sheep cheap bad wolves!

A man was dying of starvation in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp.

Magic lamp: "I can only fulfill one wish for you, say it quickly, I'm in a hurry." ”

Person: "I want a wife ......."

The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "I'm dying of hunger and greedy for beauty!" Lamentable! With that, he disappeared.

Man: "....Cake. ”

The following one is definitely original (not mine, of course, but someone else's) Christmas is approaching, and a senator goes to a state psychiatric hospital to offer condolences.

All the patients of the hospital listen to the senator's speech in the auditorium. I talked for a long time with a dry mouth, and I couldn't hear the applause of the people in the audience.

The senator was embarrassed, so he had to go on with all his energy, trying to provoke everyone's applause in order to **.

Suddenly, a patient stood up and shouted to the people around him, "Don't listen to this kid's nonsense. He's a madman, and he's just been sent in the morning. ”

One day I saw a man riding a horse. I asked him why you were riding a horse? Isn't there a car?

He told me in all seriousness because I wanted to succeed right away. Ask him, who said to be successful? He said Holy !!

I asked him who was holy? When he spoke of me, I asked who I was. Instantly changed his eyes from indifference to malicious eyes, saying, I am me, I am me...

I suddenly felt a little apathy around me. I kind of think it's a bad joke. So I fled in disgrace...

So I rode and said to him, "I will drive the horse to the one who succeeds... Let you become not a horse to success, but a horse to get out of the way... He asked for this sentence and said, No wonder you gave me an egg today and let me eat it rolling...

What an awkward tone! I never saw him again...

I heard that the income of ** is very high, so Xiao Zhang is ready to move, but he is afraid of risks. So he asked the best master for information.

Come and buy U.S. stocks, sit back and wait for appreciation, buy is earn. ”

What if it falls. ”

Don't worry, U.S. stocks are in a big bull market right now and won't fall. "What if it falls? ”

Don't worry, even if it falls, the Fed will save the market. ”

What if the Fed doesn't bail it out? ”

Impossible, the United States will force him to save it. ”

What if the United States ** collapses? ”

Sir, is there anything dissatisfying about being able to see such a good thing for just this little money? ”

1.Xiao Ming memorizes words.

Xiao Ming is memorizing words. My mother passed by: "People have to learn to take care of themselves, go get a dictionary." ”

Xiao Ming: "I don't understand! ”

Mother: "If you don't understand, check it!" ”

Xiao Ming: "I didn't find it, it said, 'Please see other places for this kind of enlightenment and fighting'." ”

2.By plane.

Once I was on a plane, I saw a little girl next to me who was very nervous, I asked her if it was the first time to fly, she nodded, and I told her to rest assured that the first time the plane would not fall.

The little girl blinked at me and said calmly, "Didn't you fall down with me?" ”

3.The fridge is broken.

My boyfriend whispered that the refrigerator was broken, and I said, "How far is this from the nearest mall?" ”

He was silent for a moment, then teased and said, "Why do you want to go to the mall?" ”

Me: "Buy a new refrigerator." ”

Him: "I'm just looking for a place to put your grandmother there!" ”

A, B and C traveled together, and A caught a cold. At night, everyone sleeps in the same bed, and A sleeps in the middle. In the middle of the night, A sneezed, and B C's face was full of A's crystals, and he couldn't help complaining

Let us know next time there's a situation! After half an hour, the monster shouted: "There is a situation, pay attention!!"

Hearing this, B C hurriedly got into the quilt and made sure that he was isolated from the outside world, who knew that A put a loud and smelly fart in the quilt. B C: ".

One day in computer class, there was a row of classmates whose computers crashed. So one of my classmates stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer is dead, and our platoon is dead."

At this time, many classmates said, "We are also dead." At this time, the teacher asked

Who else hasn't died? Only one student stood up: "I'm not dead yet!"

The teacher said strangely, "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" ”

We have a female math teacher, a native of Sichuan, whose Mandarin is okay, but "kiss" and "ask" are always indistinguishable. Once, after she gave us a question, she asked, "Do you understand?"

If you don't understand, you can get up and 'kiss' me. "The classmates were surprised when they heard it, you look at me, I look at you, and no one got up. And she said:

Why, I'm embarrassed to get up and 'kiss', aren't you? The students were even more disgusted when they heard this, and some of them were about to laugh. The teacher said when he saw that no one asked

I'm so old that I don't dare to 'kiss', okay, I won't wait until I come to my office after class, and 'kiss' me when no one is around. "Haha! The classmates finally couldn't hold back their laughter.

PROFESSOR "I'm bringing a frog today," the zoology professor said to the students, "just from."

Caught in the pond. In this lesson, we will dissect frogs. ”

He took out a cardboard box and opened it carefully. Inside the box is a ham sandwich.

Strange," the professor was surprised, "I remember having lunch."

One night, a boys' dormitory meeting lasted until 3 a.m., and suddenly I wanted to discuss a problem:"Ran into one.

Pretty girl, what to say first? "A certain gentleman woke up from a dream and said:"Sensei said, let's sleep! "

Cheating "Polonius was expelled for cheating".

What's going on? ”

During the physiological hygiene exam, he counted his ribs and was found ".

Tsinghua teacher. A young teacher at Tsinghua University loves mahjong, and once, he played all night, and he was at 7:40 the next morning

There was a class, he got off the mahjong table at half past seven and rushed to the four teachers to attend class. It just so happened that the students on duty did not wipe the blackboard.

He screamed:"Which one is the banker. "The student on duty didn't dare to respond, so he had to wipe it himself, but.

The blackboard eraser couldn't be found, and he screamed again"Where do you put the whiteboard? "...

In this Chinese class, the teacher picked up the chalk and wrote "China" on the blackboard, and then said, "Students, please look at the whiteboard, there is a red middle on it." ”

Taste The Chinese teacher found out that Zhang San was sleeping in class, and was more angry, so he woke up Zhang San and asked: How do you sleep in class.

However, Zhang San refused to admit to sleeping.

Zhang San: I didn't sleep.

Teacher: Then why don't you close your eyes?

Zhang San: Teacher, I'm silently reciting the text.

The teacher didn't believe it and said, "Then why don't you just nod your head?"

Zhang San: Teacher, you gave a very good lecture.

The teacher still didn't believe it, and said, "Then why are you drooling?"

Zhang San: Teacher, your class is very flavorful.

After reading the Three Kingdoms, the tiger went to catch wild boars, and when he saw that there was no pig in the pig nest, he touched his beard and said: "Empty city plan!" When he turned around, there was a dead pig on the beast's clip, and he was shocked: bitter meat plan! Suddenly I saw you again, and I was overjoyed: Ouch, there is also a beauty plan!

This was when Xiao Ming was in elementary school, and once the head teacher wanted the children to know the harm of tobacco and alcohol to the body, so the teacher caught a lot of big green worms. The teacher put the green worms in two large open bottles, and the teacher poured liquor into one bottle, and all the big green worms died. The teacher threw a lot of lit cigarettes into another bottle, and the big green worms naturally died.

At this time, the teacher asked, "Students, can anyone tell me now the benefits or harms of smoking and drinking?" Xiao Ming immediately stood up and said

Teacher, smoking and drinking will not make us grow worms in our stomachs! ”

The teacher asked the class to tell jokes, but I didn't expect everyone to tell the same joke.

It's so well written, I can't think of a joke!

The physical examination came to the house to chat with me about Oiran Ayu.

One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits, and he announced: "Children, after picking fruits, we will wash them together, and we can eat them together after washing." All the children went to pick fruit.

When the meeting time came, all the children gathered. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"

Xiaohua: "I'm washing apples because I picked apples." Teacher:

What about you, Xiaomei? Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about you, Amin?

Amin: "I'm washing my shoes because I'm stepping on poop." ”