How to communicate with a child with a problem? How do I communicate this with my child?

The language of parents affects a child's life.

It's better to say it with the same sex. Specifically:1

Neither let it go nor make a fuss. As a parent, after discovering that the child is bad, you can't ignore it, let it go, and you can't make a fuss, feel that the child is a bad child, as if you have done something wrong, criticize and blame.

2.According to the child's age for the corresponding education, if the child is relatively young, it may be accidentally seen, or sent to him by other classmates, for the child do not intimidate, directly tell him, still young, can not look at the line, for adolescent children, to understand the situation and then guide and guide.

3.Encourage children to learn, don't blindly indulge, when communicating with children, the main thing is to help children distinguish right from wrong, don't let children have inferiority complex, blindly trust the exaggerated effect of bad **, and indulge in it, can't extricate themselves, and help children establish the idea of learning first.

Many parents believe that they have grown up under a kind of imperative parental authority since childhood, and the generations are distinct. Parents think that it is disrespectful for their children to be obedient.

For example, some parents often say, "Don't talk to your mother like that."

In the face of such a tone, the child was not so rebellious when she was a child, but when she grew up, she became self-conscious.

formed, will the child still be obedient? Especially in adolescence, the child's sense of independence increases, and he is particularly disgusted by the command and control of his parents, and begins to rebel.

Just imagine, do we use such a tone to communicate with colleagues when we work in the workplace? Of course not. Colleagues get along with each other with respect.

According to Mr. Gibran, although the child comes through us, he is an independent individual with his own thoughts, and if he gets along with the child with respect, the child will grow better.

Warnings, threats.

Every parent loves their child from the bottom of their heart, and the child is growing up and has his own opinions.

When they are able to obey their parents, they are angry and will communicate with their children in a warning and threatening tone.

During the epidemic, it is a time when parents and children have a fierce conflict, children take the opportunity of online classes, secretly play computers, play games, and play cat and mouse games with their parents.

The parents were so angry that they couldn't beat and scold, and the scolding didn't have much effect, so they could only threaten in the end: If you secretly play with the computer again, I will turn off all the Internet at home; Or if you don't obey again, don't stay in this home.

But in that case, is it useful? In the end, it is the parents who admit defeat.

Solution. When children encounter difficulties, parents are often worried that their children will not be able to solve them, so they directly give solutions. For example, if I were you, I wouldn't play with him; You should go out and exercise a little more.

When parents communicate with their children in this way, if the parent-child relationship is harmonious and the children are still relatively intelligent, some children may still accept it; If the relationship is not harmonious, the child may have a feeling that the parents do not believe in my ability, they feel that I am not capable of solving the current situation, so they let it go and fall into low self-esteem.

Every child wants to be the best and has the ability to live easily and happily in the world, and what parents need to do is to respect their children's own choices and give them the opportunity to solve problems.

Giving, not substituting, is the best love for children.

Yes. Parent: I think you're doing the right thing.

These two dialogues, on the surface, seem to be parents affirming and praising their children, but what children hear is the parents' denial of their own feelings, a sense of non-acceptance, and an obstacle to parent-child communication.

The above communication methods are not familiar to everyone. In such a mode of communication, it is undeniable.

Parents love their children, but why don't children feel "love"? The problem is that parents do not truly accept their children and respect their children's feelings.

You can paint pink, but the furniture can be shaded with navy orchid, curtains, bedspreads, wall decorations, this designer will start with furniture and soft furnishings, in fact, such a small child can be satisfied. After a few years to repaint.

Answer: Talk about the issues that the child is interested in first, and when the child is active and discuss, transfer the topic according to the current time, and do not rush it.

What kind of children are created under what kind of environmental influence. The problem of children's education should be convincing to the child. You can't often beat and scold your child, after all, he is still a child, and it all depends on the cultivation of parents and teachers.

The child is too young to be guided.

Communication methods between parents and children

1.Your child must listen patiently when he or she speaks.

Expressing a desire to be heard is a normal psychological need for everyone. Especially children, they will be panicked if they don't say what is in their hearts, and they need someone to listen. When the child's emotional expression is listened to enough, parents can find that the child just wants to say it, and it will be fine after expressing it.

2. Discuss the differences between each other.

Parents and children often disagree on ideas and opinions. For example, parents believe that their children should be home by 9 p.m., while children who enter their teenage years think they are old enough to come home later. If this discrepancy is not dealt with effectively, communication will inevitably fail.

Parents should recognise that these differences actually provide important opportunities to rethink old parenting styles and limitations, and to consult and develop new systems with their children that help them develop useful social skills. This kind of discussion is possible and beneficial because the adolescent is growing in his or her ability to recognize and discern things and to consider possibilities or perspectives.

3.Trust your child unconditionally.

Parents are their children's first teachers and role models for life. A child's strengths, weaknesses, good habits, and bad habits basically come from the influence of parents and the surrounding environment. Therefore, parents should first do what they are asked of their children to do.

They should appreciate their children's strengths, tolerate their shortcomings, and allow them to have imperfections. The unconditional trust that parents have in their children is an important foundation for communicating with them.

Good communication is effective when two equal communicators express themselves completely smoothly and freely, listen carefully to each other's opinions, and discuss with each other on the basis of equality and mutual respect.

The right questions are handled correctly and are the way parents educate their children.

Educating children is like raising flowers, careful watering, fertilization, and care can be successful, but in fact, not everyone can raise flowers well, and if you don't understand, you have to ask others for advice and learn the experience and art of raising flowers.

There are still many ways to solve the communication skills between parents and children, such as using quality education or research trips to enhance competitiveness, and the development of promotion ability is very important.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Communication with others is a basic interpersonal skill, and it is also an essential and important ability for children in their daily life and learning. Here are some tips for how to guide your child in connecting with others:

1.Encourage and encourage children to be proactive in communicating with others. Parents can stimulate their children's curiosity and desire for knowledge through role-playing, imitation games, conversations, etc., and help children talk to others naturally.

2.Develop your child's ability to listen actively. Let children understand the importance of listening, cultivate children to actively listen to the needs, feelings and opinions of others, and express understanding and support through expressions, body language, wisdom and other ways.

3.Encourage your child to interact with others in a positive way. Through smiles, polite words, warm greetings, etc., children can build a good relationship with others and make a good impression on others.

4.Cultivate children's expression skills, let children learn to express their ideas and opinions in simple, clear, accurate and clear language, and create good conditions for communicating with others.

5.Encourage children to accumulate knowledge and ideological resources through reading, observation, thinking, etc., which can help children be more confident and confident in communicating with others.

6.Teach children to respect the rights and interests of others when communicating with others, avoid verbal aggression and conflict, and learn to solve problems and mediate disputes.

In short, through the practice and implementation of the above suggestions, children can cultivate proactive interpersonal and communication habits, and help children improve their communication skills, so that they can live in harmony with others in the process of growth.

Learn to listen.

This is the first step in communication. If the child is angry about something and wants to allow him to lose his temper, parents may wish to sit down first, wait quietly for the child, look at the child quietly, do not interrupt him, listen attentively, do not look left and right, stop what he is doing, this is equivalent to telling the child: you are cared for by us.

If you want to talk to him more, he may be a little restrained at first, but soon, he will share his happiness and sadness with you.

When he grows up, if you want to get to know him better, don't want to peek at his diary or anything like that, sit down with him through the friendship with him in the past, at first, he won't tell you some private things, but when he opens his heart, it's fine.

When he is reading or studying, accompany her, even if he can't do anything, accompany him by his side, let him know that he is also studying with him seriously.

When he is happy, don't splash cold water or anything like that; When he is sad, don't blame him, because he is well aware of his mistakes.

Spend the holidays with him, buy a few small gifts outside, even if it is not worth a few dollars, he will be very happy, because he knows that you love her very much.

When he makes a mistake, don't be too harsh, as long as he knows the seriousness of the mistake, he reflects deeply, he apologizes to you and looks at you seriously, I don't think you will beat him hard at this time, then you can play the glory of your parents

Treat children equally, squat down when communicating with children, and keep eye level with children, you can avoid condescending and giving children a bad feeling, and adults also need to respect children.

Getting the child's approval, explaining the facts to the child in a consultative manner, and not arbitrarily allowing or not allowing it, this is not effective.

Avoid negation of your child, you can give your child some choices, you can't tell him what not to do, you can tell him what he should do, most people don't like denial, and be more positive about children.

Avoid nagging, sometimes the family may say the same thing repeatedly, which can be impatient for the child.

The effect of listening to it is also limited, you should express the central idea concisely and concisely, avoid sudden tantrums, if the child ** does not do it properly, you should explain to him gently, not scolding.

If you want to communicate with your child correctly, then you must be patient, follow the path, don't be imposing all the time, don't be too strong, don't be strict with the child, give him a chance to choose, and combine work and rest, such a learning, concept, instilled in him, a correct thought.